not so ordinary, i guess
by my feathered scales
Summary: reality, the thing that all humans know in certainty is true. but what would happen if for one human that reality was shattered? what can they then call reality? is the word just a lie? that's what one girl would like to know. why her, why now, why cant everyone just leave her alone. she just wanted to be normal.
1. what the?

**am going to do my disclaimer once for the entire story. ok, here it goes**

**disclaimer: i do not own transformers and i never will**

What. The fuck. Is that.

I had woken up just a few minutes ago, at around lunch time, like I usually did during the holidays and it started out as a normal day for me, Marie Cristiana Larcroft. At first I just lay in bed, enjoying the warmth of my blanket over me and the softness of my pillow, but I inevitably had to get up. I was instantly chilled by the cool air from the overhead fan as I stumbled towards my dresser, trying push my blond hair out of my face so I could see. After hitting my toe on the corner of my bed and running into my dresser I finally managed to grab the hairbrush and carefully pull it through my wavy hair. The light from the cracks in my wooden blinds was warm where they hit my skin and made the room just the right light, not too bright but not too dark so I couldn't see.

I put the hairbrush down and glanced briefly at myself in the mirror on the wall behind the dresser, I froze. Looking back at me was what I usually saw every morning, a 5 foot tall girl with copper coloured hair that went down to her butt, greeny-grey eyes and typical bronzed Aussie skin._**( bronzed Aussie is what people call the tanned/olive skin of Australians.)**_ what really caught my attention though was the soft light that shone through the five times too large tee shirt that I wore as Pj's. the light pulsed in tandem with my racing heart. I pulled down the collar of my sleeping shirt to see that the light was coming from underneath my skin exactly where my heart was.

_Last I checked I wasn't the real life version of Tony Stark._

* * *

><p>I stirred my tea absently as I thought. Thank god nanna and poppa are out or I would be in more trouble than a croc in dry season. I was currently staying with my grandparents for Christmas at their home in Canada. While I loved the cold I just wasn't used to it, I was used to the glaring sun of the outback and the burning plains of central Australia.<p>

I rubbed my chest through the oversized sleeping shirt, I am not going anywhere so why bother getting more clothes dirty, as a stinging sensation reminded me of my predicament. I cant tell anyone, they would freak out, heck, who knows what will happen_._ I fiddled slightly with the woven bracelet I had gotten from nanna. It was quickly becoming my favourite, and only, piece of jewellery to wear. It was thin strips of tan leather wove around 4 fragments of dull, but still slightly shiny, grey, twenty cent coin sized pieces of stone.

I sipped at my honey flavoured tea once again and sighed, cant let this keep me down all day. I got up, drinking the last of my tea and putting the cup in the sink before moving into the lounge room. Hmm, what to watch, what to watch. I sat down and dug through the draws that contained all the movies that my grandparents owned. Ooooh, haven't watched this in a while. I pulled the DVD out of its case and put it in the player. I quickly moved to the couch and plopped myself down in the most unladylike fashion.

Ah, Transformers, one of the best movies out there, full of fight scenes, guns, explosions and giant kick ass robots.

As always the movie was awesome and I proceeded to watch the other two but I was constantly wincing and rubbing at the constant pain coming from my chest. The day after the movies went on quite similar only I was doing different things, constantly rubbing and occasionally hissing at a particularly painful sting.

* * *

><p>It was 5:00 PM and my grandparents had just rang and told me that they would be home in a few minutes, at fist I didn't think much about, that is, until a lance of pain from my chest reminded me that I pretty much had a light bulb un my chest.<p>

I stumbled as I ran for the bathroom, hitting my leg as I yanked the medicine cabinet open. Where are they, where are th - AHA. I scrabbled to pull the bandages out of the cupboard and pull off my night shirt, leaving me only in my short pyjama shorts. I wrapped the bandages around me, carefully concealing the soft, pulsing light.

I pulled my shirt on quickly as I heard poppas car in the driveway and bang of closing doors.

I fiddled with my bracelet once more. They can't know, they cant know.


	2. big things come in small packages

The pain. The pain in my chest was gone. But something else had come to replace the pain. My vision was blurred for a moment and I rubbed my eyes. The pain from yesterday? It had moved from my chest to my eyes.

I stood in front of the mirror in my room once more, looking into my eyes. They were still the same, mostly. The difference was that my pupils were no longer black, but instead, an electrifying blue. It frightened me. The low from my chest was still there but no longer hurt and now my pupils were glowing blue. I put my head in my hands as I felt tears roll down my cheeks and drip to my feet. What is happening to me, I'm a freak and I'll bet my favourite bike that it is only going to get worse.

I jump when I heard a knocking t the door.

"Marie, are you up yet?" came the voice of my nanna

"yes nanna, I'm awake, but don't come in I'm getting dressed." I wasn't really but I didn't want her to see. Still, I started to get dressed anyway into a pair of jeans and a white and orange long sleeved shirt. Before I put the shirt on I wrapped the bandages again around my chest to stop the glow

"we are going to the shops, would you like to come dear?" nanna asked through the closed door and I praised ever god I knew that i was lucky enough to have them leave to days in a row.

"no thanks nanna. I'm not feeling too well today." not a lie, but still not the whole truth.

"alright. I hope you feel better dear. We will get you something." with that she left. I listened quietly until I heard them driving out the driveway. I shivered, but not from the cold, what was I going to do. I want to hide this from them, from everyone, but its not going to be possible, I will have to face someone sooner or latter and they will certainly notice my eyes. I'm gonna end up in either in a zoo or under the knife. I shivered again at that thought.

Stop that right this instant Marie! Don't you dare start thinking about that sort of stuff! I stood up quickly and made my way to the kitchen to eat breakfast.

* * *

><p>It was just after 12 in the afternoon and I lay on the couch with my arm thrown across my eyes, I was in this position because my eyes would keep blurring out at random times and it was really starting to piss me off. Another string of pain ran through my eyes and I shut them tighter. I suddenly felt a tingling sensation coming from my right wrist. I moved my arm away from my eyes and looked a the bracelet, everything was blurry, everything except that bracelet. It hung from my blurred wrist clear as day.<p>

Suddenly my vision cut out and left me laying in blackness. Just as suddenly my vision returned as if nothing had happened and it wasn't blurry at all.

I looked at the bracelet, it seemed to hum with..with energy? What? What is going on. I rolled onto my side and looked out the window next to the couch. I shot upright. The sky was dark, how is that possible? I was only blind for a second, less than that even! How the hell was it dark outside? I let my eyes roam over offer the rest of the room, exactly how I remember it. Wooden bookshelf next to a black armchair, wide screen TV, clear floor, wo - wait what? Clear floor? But I remember leaving all the transformer movies I watched on the floor?

I tumbled clumsily off the couch and crawled towards the draws holding the DVD's and pulled it open. All the movies were there, except the three transformer movies.

I thought as to how this had happened swirled in the front of my mind but I pushed it back. It's not possible. Completely and utterly impossible. I ran into my room, and too my computer and hurriedly clicked my way to the internet. I typed into the search engine exactly what I was looking for.

'Transformers'

I watch as sites about electrical transformers and electrical businesses filled the page and even a wiki page on transformation but nothing else. I just as hurriedly exited the browser and powered down the computer then jumped away from it. I spun on my heel and dug through the stuff I had brought from my home for the transformer comic that had dulled my boredom on the plane. I was gone.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

I admit, I had read stuff like this happening to fictional characters on fanfiction. But for gods sake it was just that, FICTIONAL. But this, this was real. I was actually in and if I was to tell you the truth, I was scared shitless.

I hugged myself. I want to go home. To wake up from the past crazy dream. I pinched myself. Nope, still here.

I caught sight of the bracelet and glared at it. It was this bracelets fault. I knew this now. I took the thing of and went to my window and opened it. I pulled my arm back to throw the damn thing out. Out of my life. I suddenly caught sight of something in the corner of my eye. I turned my head and looked a little closer and the stones on the bracelet. I gasped and dropped it, snatching my hand back as if it was burnt. The bracelet hit the floor with a soft thud. It took a while my but my hammering soon slowed a bit.

I crouched down and reached out to pick the seemingly innocent bracelet off the floor. One safely in my hand I brought it to my face. My eyes widened again but I didn't act as drastic as before. Etched all over every one of the four shards of stone, that I now knew was a strange sort of metal, were symbols, previously hidden from view. What sort of symbols you ask? Well they were cybertronian ones of course.

Because I was now in the transformers dimension.

And woven into my bracelet were shards of the all-spark.


	3. mystery solved

**this chapter is dedicated to jewel333. u are the best. hope u luv it.**

I sat on my bed resting my elbows on my knees and my head hung low, my packed backpack next to me. I was dressed in thick, warm, motorbike pants and warm leather boots. Over my bandages I wore a long sleeved white v neck and an open leather bike jacket and covering my hands were warm leather gloves.

They can't know. No one can ever know. If I am really in the transformers dimension then if I tell even one person, it could be disastrous for me. I have read what happens in those stories on fanfiction. They go to the autobots and help them fight the decepticons. The thing is, I don't know if those stories are even slightly reminiscent of the truth. I don't want to be used, by either side. If I am to give any information to anyone it will be of my own free will, not by being pressured or interrogated or tortured. No, I won't let that happen. All I want to do is find a way for me to get home. And in the mean time, I won't let either faction touch the shards I now wear on my wrist. For some reason, even the thought of leaving these shards caused my heart to wrench.

I stood up and grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder and made my way outside and to the garage, zipping up my jacket in the process. I opened the garage door and looked inside, ignoring the light snow that floated softly around me. I walked in a wheeled out my grandfathers old red Ducati. Just as I was about to put the helmet on a heard a cough behind me. Whirling around, I cam face to face with my nanna and poppa.

"what are you doing Marie?" came the questioning voice of my poppa.

"i-i-I'm so-so sorry but-but…" I stuttered sadly, they may have looked like them, but these weren't _my_ nanna and poppa. But they don't need to know that.

"Marie?" it was nanna this time, as she took a step forward. This step is what prompted my eyes to widen in fear and take a step back myself, running into the motor bike in the process. I swung myself onto the bike and put the helmet on as quick as possible.

"I'm-I'm not safe here. I'm not safe anywhere." I quickly slide down the visor on the helmet, thanking my luck that it was tinted so people couldn't see my freakish eyes.

I was off like a shot. The frozen wind trying to lash at my through my warm clothes but I quickly shook I off and focused on keeping control on the icy roads.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I had been riding but the sun was up now, it had been up for a few hours. I was nowhere near the large town that my grandparents lived in but currently passing through a small village. I felt a dull throb in my stomach as it grumbled loudly, begging to be fed. I finally gave up and pulled into the parking lot of the local diner.<p>

Pulling the key out of the ignition and placing it in my pocket I twirled my bag from its position on my back and onto the seat of motorbike. Without taking my helmet off I dug through the bag. Letting out a triumphant 'AHA' I pulled out the dark sunglasses and proceeded to take off the helmet and quickly put the glasses on.

Bringing the helmet and bag with me into the diner I sat at a booth in the corner. I sunk into the seat, grateful that I was no longer hunched forward. I never realised how sore I was getting until I stood up. Damn, I should take some pit stops more often.

"hey there darlin', what can I get you?" I jumped when I heard the voice and my head snapped towards the waitress standing next to my table with a kind smile on her face. I blushed and spluttered a bit but quickly snatched up the menu and gave it a once over.

"uh. Can I please have the breakfast deluxe and a glass of orange juice? Uh, please?" I asked, my face darkening a few more shades. The young waitress smiled at me and replied with a cheery 'sure' then left.

I sighed with relief and sunk down wards into the seat, wishing I could just hide away. Just then my head started to throb dully and I groaned, reaching up to rub my temples, occasionally moving my sunglasses in an attempt to rid myself of the pain. I managed to drive the pain away just as my large plate piled with food was served to me, accompanied with a tall glass of juice.

After I scarfed down the meal big enough for three and downed the juice in one go, I went to the bathroom swiftly before returning to the road. Soon I was out of the village and driving on one of the less taken roads. I didn't pay attention to where I was going, I just kept going. I stopped to eat one of the granola bars from my bag at mid day before continuing on my way.

* * *

><p>The sun had set and the wind had picked up, whipping the snow harshly around me, tearing at my clothes. The only light was coming from the headlight at the front of the bike. it illuminated the road enough so that I didn't run into anything as I rode up snow covered mountain road.<p>

The headache that had been plaguing me on and off all day returned with a vengeance, making me wince and grunt slightly. I was careful to stay focused on the road and keeping the bike from crashing and ignore the pain as I stared forward stubbornly. A sudden flurry of wind and snow whipped around me, chilling my already cold hands and seeping into my skin. I should find somewhere to rest. I snorted at my own thought. I'm on a mountain, where the hell would there be a place to stop.

I jerked suddenly, clenching my eyes shut as the pain in my head intensified. I let out a scream and forced my eyes open when I felt the bike I was on jerk. I tried to right my path but the ice on the road became too much for the Ducati to handle and the bike, in extension me, continued at our very dangerous speed to the side of the mountain.

I held on for dear life and tried to slow the bike, to little effect, as it bumped and jerked hazardly off the road. I screamed loudly as the bike ran into the side of the mountain, crushing it slightly. The back wheel came off the ground as momentum suddenly ceased. My body flew forward, or tried to. My hands had locked in their positions on the handlebars and jerked me back, saving my head from meeting the stone mountainside. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stop the backlash. I was jerked backwards from my sudden stop, this in turn caused my still locked hand to yank hard on the accelerator. My screaming hadn't stopped this whole time and only got louder as the front wheel lifted and tried to go up the mountain. My hands finally unlocked and I fell to the snow covered ground with a loud 'OOF'.

Through this whole dilemma my head only pounded harder with its intense pain, clouding my thoughts, but it suddenly stopped and everything seemed to slow. I watched in slow motion as the large motorbike stopped its ascent up the mountainside and started to fall. Right on top of me.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" my chest burned with a raging fire and my stomach felt as if it was being torn apart. When I stopped screaming I coughed. I coughed and hacked and spluttered. It sounded dreadful and it wracked my whole body. I cough taste warm coppery blood in my mouth and it made me sick. I must have scratched a lung.

With great effort I brought my hands to the bike and pushed it. It took all my strength to drag the thing off of me. When it was off and I had looked down at myself my breath stopped and my heart picked up. It seems as though the foot peg managed to break through the jacket and make its way into my stomach. Ignoring the bone chilling temperatures I tore of my helmet and with shaking hands undid my jacket. I sob wracked my burning body as I caught sight of the large, oozing gash from where I was impaled.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I had stayed there, lying in the reddening snow. But I came to the decision to get up and try to find some sort of shelter. So, I had grabbed my helmet and put it on with my blood stained hands in an attempt to keep the snow off my face and grabbed my bag. I had dragged myself away, limping slightly from a sprained ankle and arm across my stomach wound, trying to stop the blood flow, occasionally spitting coughed up blood onto the snow.<p>

This had brought me to where I was currently collapsed. Deep inside a very large cave. And when I say large, I mean like the roof was at least thirty metres up. I whimpered from the pain that assaulted my entire body as I leant against a strange rock formation I had found with my fuzzy vision. I threw my head back and it hit the stone behind me with a solid THUNG that echoed around the cave.

Wait…

What? Stone doesn't go 'thung'.

I jumped up but instantly regretted my actions as I doubled over in pain. When the pain lessened enough for me to unfold from my position I righted myself but kept my arm tight over my large, ugly stomach wound. Thankfully the sudden burst of pain had cleared my vision and I stared in shocked fascination at the large form that I had been leaning on. That is certainly no rock formation. Holy crap.

So this is what happened. This is where they hid his body from humans with ill will.

.

.

.

Jazz….


	4. where are your wings?

I ran my hand softly over the cool metal. I had always what had happened to him in the movies. Now I knew. Jazz's body had been repaired but it seems they couldn't revive his spark from the Matrix. They must have hid his body here as both a resting place and a sanctum for their fallen comrade. My mind was blanks as I walked up the length of the fallen bots body. For some reason, all my pain had left my body as soon as I touched the alien metal; I was completely numb to everything.

Warmth suddenly bloomed from my right wrist and spread itself through my body. I dragged my eyes away from the constant silver and to the all-spark bracelet. The bracelet seemed to pulse, it hummed and radiated…energy? At the moment I realized this it was like my body was not my own. It was like I was sitting behind glass and watching things happen through my eyes but not be able to dictate what was happening.

I watched as my body pulled itself up Jazz's side, every movement made pain run through me, it was the only thing I could feel from my body, and I tried to scream, to curse bloody murder, but I couldn't force my mouth open. So, I endured through the pain and watched as my body made its way slowly to Jazz's chest plates. In the back of my mind I felt bad for spilling my blood on the dead bots dulling and scratched armour. I watched as weak and shaking hands came up and hook their cooling fingers under the plates and pull them apart, revealing the dark spark chamber they had once protected.

The bracelet pulsed faster than before and it was now that i realised that it was no longer warm. Now it was searing, burning my skin and through my entire body and it made my heart ache the most. It was like there were hooks in my heart, being pulled by invisible strings again and again and again. Without me even realising, right hand was thrust into the exposed spark chamber, and in extension the shards of the all-spark.

Everything seemed to stop at that moment. I tried to close my eyes and scream my lungs out when a blinding light engulfed me. I tried to pull away from the burning bracelet. And to top it off, I tried to stabilise myself when the metal I saw currently kneeling on jolted causing me to roll backwards onto the bots stomach.

I gasped and coughed, shutting my eyes, trying to catch my breath through my broken ribs and injured lungs. Blood filled my mouth and I had to roll to my side and cough some more to remove it. Fucking hell this hurts. Everywhere hurts. I just want to sleep. I lay where I was, oblivious to everything that was around me. That means that I was oblivious to the shifting metal below me or the large metal hands that grabbed me.

Tears slipped down my cheeks and a gasp escaped my when I felt something touch my side. I opened my eyes and jolted in shock when I came face to face with a glowing blue visor. Despite my current state of pain a smile graced my lips and a croaked laugh escaped me.

"You're alive."

"and I guess I have ya ta thank lil' lady. How d'ya do that, by tha way?" the now revived autobot tilted his head at me.

i was about to respond when he sat up, jostling me in his hands. I gasped in pain at the movement and more tear streamed down my cheeks. I felt more than saw the bot instantly freeze. I whimpered and wrapped my sore arms around me in an attempt to stop the pain from spreading.

"Yer hurt." I coughed suddenly, blood flying from my mouth and splattered onto Jazz's hands, which are currently cupped around my since he is slightly smaller than Bumblebee.

"this, Jazz, is what happens when a human is in a car crash." I said, I winced a my croaky and raw voice.

"how did ya…" but whatever else he said was lost to me. I shouldn't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep. But it's sooo warm here, it doesn't hurt here. NO, I shouldn't, I…I shou…n't…

* * *

><p>BEEP<p>

Wha… what?

BEEP

What's going on?

BEEP

Where am i?

AAH!

I clenched my eyes shut. Who turned the lights on? I slowly relaxed and opened my eyes. Ok, white roof. I opened my eyes completely and looked around. White, white, white. If I had to guess, I would say I was in a hospital.

I pushed myself up and winced slightly at the dull pain from my chest and stomach, other than that I felt fine. Well, I wouldn't really call it fine. I felt…heavy, like I was wearing a lead vest and wrist and ankle weights. I shook that off and looked down at myself. My chest and stomach where covered in bandages and so was my left ankle and foot. I also noticed that my right writ was bandaged. Wait. If I was in a hospital then wouldn't people have noticed…. Ignoring the heavy feeling, I lifted my arms and shifted a few of the bandages out of the way. What? Smooth skin was all that was there, no glowing iron man thing. Looking around once more I noticed a hand mirror on the bedside table thing and picked it up. Normal, black pupil eyes stared back at me. what the fuck?

I quickly put the mirror down as the door opened. A woman with brown hair in a bun, glasses, white doctors coat, a clipboard and pen walked into the room but stoped when she saw me. before I knew it she was right next to me with a happy smile on her face.

"Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling? Any pain at all?" the woman question and I just stared up at her for a few seconds before coming to my senses.

"uh…n-no, no pain at all. I feel fine." I replied. I looked up at her curiously. She seemed to notice my look and returned it with the same one. Maybe….

"how…how did I get here?" I asked. I was very, _very_ confused. The last thing I remember was reviving Jazz. How I did that was beyond me, I'll just pin it up as an all-spark thing. Stupid all-spark, going and taking over my body like that, it's such an impolite douchbag. If it's even possible for pure energy to be a douchbag.

"Well dear, you were very lucky. We don't know how you got so hurt, but you had managed to drive you car to the hospital practically half dead. We got you back up to health and some of the staff was kind enough to clean up your car a bit. You've been unconscious for a week and four days. You are currently in Buffalo hospital" The doctor stood there for a few minutes. When I didn't say anything, she scribbled some stuff on her clip board and left the room.

Buffalo? Is that how far I've got? All the way to the United States? I mean, I know Sherbrook is close to the border but to get all the way to buffalo? This is crazy. And I'm pretty sure that I never drove here. The only one that could have done that was either some random stranger that fled when we got here or… Jazz.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. That wasn't half as bad I thought it would be. In the corner of my eyes I caught sight of something. My bag. Not just, but all of my stuff. In just a few minutes I was dressed in a white tee-shirt with purple paint splatters and a pair of dark blue jeans and converse. I pulled on the washed and repaired leather jacket and swung my bag onto my shoulder, ignoring the weak twinge of pain.

I know, I know. I shouldn't leave a hospital still injured, but I don't know how long my glowing chest will stay un-glowing or my eyes will stay un-blue. So, I have to leave. Walking to the window I observed gratefully that I was on the first floor.

I was out the window and walking through the car park in less than a minute. I closed my eyes and tilted my head towards the cloudless sky, relishing the feeling of the warm sun momentarily chasing away the winter chill. It was because of this that I jumped when I heard a loud rev next to me.

Looking to my left I came face to hood with a beat up, silver, Pontiac solstice. It had scratches and dings and the paint was no longer as shiny as it once was, as I remembered it. I knew almost instantly who it was and frankly I was slightly shocked that he was still here and not on his way to the other autobots in Diego Garcia. But, a part of me was happy that he was here because, one; I've always wanted to meet him, and two; I'm a very social person, and being away from people I know for too long makes me exceedingly sad and I get terrible homesickness.

I walked up to the driver's door, running the tips of my fingers softly along the metal, admiring the style of car. I'll have to remember to get all those dings out, looks like all those years of working on my parents cars is gonna pay off. Maybe I'll do a polish and wax if he lets me. I stood next to the driver's door and hesitantly got in when it was opened for me.

"What are you going here Jazz?" I asked as Jazz started to drive out of the parking lot.

"Ya brought me back ta life, I owe ya. Plus, someone had hide those traits of yours." His voice seemed to come from all around me, it was so strange. I sat straight in the seat. My bag on the passenger seat.

"You mean you're the reason…. But how?" how the heck could her have done that? I waited patiently for his reply.

"Mah holo projector may be damaged and I can't make full holoforms but that don't mean I can't do much smaller ones, like pieces of ya." I processed what he was telling me and just sat quietly as we drove down the snowy road. So they did have holo's huh? I wonder if their tangible or not, like a hologram.

"thank you."

"Don' think 'bout it. I'm ya guardian now and it's my job ta protect ya."Jazz's happy voice surrounded me. he wanted to be my guardian? But I was just some lost girl who wanted to go home. A dry laugh escaped my throat.

And to think, I always believed guardian angels had wings.


	5. in friends we trust

**here you are my lovies! two chappies in one day. you all better be enjoying reading this as i am writting it. and if you wanna know a secret: i am winging this whole thing. sure i got a few ideas for it but those will come a bit later.**

**review please. ^w^ they make me so excited i do the happy dance.**

Only a few minutes after I had sat in Jazz did I fall asleep. When I woke it was to a complete change of scenery. Lush green forests walled us in on the small country road and there was no snow in sight. The sin was half way sunk into the horizon and it was all I could do to stare at the beautiful scene before me. I was suddenly struck with a thought.

"You don't even know my name." it was a complete shock. Well not really but I felt pretty bad. I know a whole lot about him and yet he knew next to nothing about me.

"It just occurred to me that…it hardly seems fair that I know so much about you and you don't even have a name to work with. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you. My name is Marie Larcroft, it's very nice to meet you Jazz." I said with a slight bow of my head. I didn't know if he could see it but it never hurt to try.

I could hear him chuckling slightly from my actions, the whole car shook with his laughter.

"Hehe. It's nice ta meet ya too Marie. An' that's another thin' I would like ta know. How do ya know so much 'bout me." his voice went from amused to completely serious so fast it made me very nervous, not to mention just a bit shy.

"Ah – I – well – you see – *sigh* you wouldn't believe me if I told you." A sudden sadness engulfed me when I said this softly. I don't want to talk about this. If I'm just going to be stuck here I want to forget everything and just disappear. I could go back to Australia and live with my family from this dimension but…they aren't really my family, they would have different memories to me. What this dimensions me favourite movie if not transformers? What cartoon had I loved the most? What was my favourite car, fictional character? Heck, who was my best friend?

"Try me." Jazz's soft voice calmed my nerves, maybe it was a guardian thing or maybe my mind just want to have something familiar and right now, it was point at Jazz to be that thing.

"I – I'm not…not from this dimension. Similar yes, but not the same." I brought my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them, staring out the front window. "This isn't my home, the people in this world aren't my family, my friends, I don't even know them anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore. What I am." I looked down at my chest. The patches of holoforms had disappeared long ago and the pulsing light could be seen through the bandages and clothes, as I no longer wore my jacket. It was getting brighter.

"I just want to go home."

"So ya learnt 'bout me from yer dimension?" damn he was so persistent.

"Yes. You see, in my dimension you, the autobots, decepticons, Cybertron and the Allspark are all fictional, brought forth from someone's imagination. Lots of people from my dimension knew the transformers. In my dimension, people would call me a trans-fan, someone who likes the transformers series and movies. Truthfully I was more interested in the culture of a cybertronian and how they worked but I was still put in the trans-fan crowd. And I find myself in another dimension where you are all real and I just brought you back to life with the shards of the Allspark that are in my bracelet. All the while I am slowly turning into some freak of nature.

"I ran from my grandparents of this dimension and am now in the process of being on the run because I know that some bot, somewhere has felt the energy signature of my shards and is looking for them. Frankly I don't want to caught by either side. I want to hide away where they can't find me. I don't want to be tortured, interrogated or pressured into giving the information I know to anyone. If I give information, it will be of my own free will. On top of that I am somehow in the past because last I checked it was not 2008." Wow, that was a weight off my chest.

"That was…a lot. But it doesn't matter. I'm yer guardian now and if ya don't wanna be found, than I will keep ya hidden. I'll keep you safe Ri, no matter what." There was so much…determination in his voice I just couldn't believe it.

"But-but you barely even _know_ me!" I splutter. I don't understand. How could he be so adamant about keeping me safe when he practically just met me?

"I know, but somethin' is jus' tellin' me ta protect ya, and I'ma' mech that always goes with tha flow." They way he said it made it sound so obvious, but it wasn't obvious, I was having a lot of trouble right now trying to wrap my head around they thought that I now had a guardian. A guardian for god's sake. And an _autobot_ guardian at that.

I groaned in annoyance as a sudden lance of pain shot up both my arms. Fucking brilliant. I wonder what's going to happen now.

"Hey Jazz? Can we stop for a while?" I asked. My new guardian replied to request silently and sped up for a few minutes before turning down a dirt road. I dully noticed that there was a sign saying it was some sort of camping ground. I hope there aren't many people here or even better, none at all.

We passed the main section and drove further into the forest, following the less used trails. We stopped at one of the more secluded, one group camping site. It was a small, grass covered clearing with a fire pit in the centre. At the edge of the clearing was a stream. Thank god. I need a bath.

I got out of Jazz and pulled my back pack with me. Instantly dropping my bag, I stretched, ignoring the weird new pain from my arms. It was warm, and I was glad that I no longer wore the heavy leather jacket, but it wasn't as warm as home. I sighed, remembering my home and the scorching hot days that came along with Christmas. I love the heat, the sun, anything that would warm me. it just got my blood pumping.

"I miss home." I stated to no one in particular and I sat down on the green grass.

Jazz transformed and sat in front of me with one leg folded like he was going to sit cross legged and the other stretched out.

"What's yer home like?" I looked curiously at my new friend, well I hope we're friends, and laughed slightly.

"What? You mean Australia? Can't you just look it up on the internet?" Jazz shrugged at this and put his arm on his folded leg, resting his head on his hand.

"Well yeah, I could do that, but I don' wanna. I wanna hear what it's like from someone that lives there." I was slightly shocked at this. He could look up what Australia was like in a blink of an eye, and yet, he wanted to hear it from me. I looked down and a small smile fell on my lips. I looked back up at Jazz and smiled as I stared into his glowing visor.

"Well, let's see, Australia is-well-it's wonderful, I think. It's hot most the year and cold in the middle. Half the year it's dry as hell and everywhere you look there's golds and reds and browns in a beautiful mix mash puzzle. And the other half is lush and green with water everywhere. Grass plains turn to wet lands and rivers fill up. Bushfires are a constant throughout the year, but many communities come together to fight them and protect each other. The people are friendly and the food is great. People from other countries saw that Australians love 'shrimp on the barbie' but truthfully we don't ever say shrimp, we say prawn. We are famous for out golden beaches and the 'bronzed Aussie', people who have a dark tan like me from constantly being under the sun. It's just so amazing. We are one of the only countries that have such a wide range of environments. Like rainforests, deserts, bushland, swamps, marshlands, dunes, grasslands, mountain ranges. It's just so…diverse!"

"You must love it there." Came Jazz's soft voice. He had a kind smile on his face and his blue optics visor thingy, whatever it was, were shining down at me.

"I do, I really, really do. But-but people are slowly killing the land, destroying the environment for development, knocking down trees, damming rivers. And it's not just Australia, its happening everywhere. Humans are slowly destroying their own planet." My own words made my heart wrench.

Before I had left for Canada, my parents were in a fight with the government for our ranch and its surrounding land. They wanted to make a mining plant there but my parents didn't want to leave. The ranch had been in my mother's family for generations and other families lived there as well, people that worked for my parents to help run our cattle ranch, my parents had told them that they could live on the land and that my mother would gladly supply them with food and beds.

Suddenly I felt myself being picked up and looked up at Jazz as he pulled me to his chassis, right over his spark, in a weird but comforting hug.

"Don' be sad lil' Ri. It'll be alright." I was stiff for a minute bat soon relaxed and leaned against Jazz's chest plates. Huh, so their armour really is warm. Living metal. I ran my fingers slightly over warm, but banged up metal.

"amazing." I whispered softly to myself. These guys were so like us humans, yet so different. They lived, just like we did, yet they acted so strangely. They had emotions like us, they cared like us, they loved like us. They fought wars like us, maybe a bit more advanced but still.

"What's amazing?" I looked up at Jazz's face from my spot in his hands, resting on his chassis. I smiled a big smile at him, eyes twinkling.

"You! Your race! Everything! it's just so…so…" I didn't know how to describe it, it was mind boggling.

"Amazin'?" I smiled wider ad Jazz's smirking face.

"Yes! Yes and so much more!" I threw my arms up and closed my eyes, falling back and laying fully in Jazz's hands. Jazz's chuckles vibrated through me as I sighed. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

The rest of the night was spent talking with Jazz as he lay on the ground with on leg propped up and me on his chest plates, laying on my stomach, resting on my elbows and head in hands so I could see his face. He told me about Cybertron and the beautiful city of Iacon, he told me about his peoples culture, how they lived, what they ate, recreational activities, music, everything! and in return I told him all about earth. About our many different cultures and languages, the different foods and strange buildings and structures, like the pyramids, Nazca lines and Stone Henge. I told him about the aboriginal Dream time, Greek myths and English legends.

To put it simply: we relaxed and got to know each other. And to tell the truth, it was nice.


	6. what am i? a deer?

**this the longest chapter i have done so you better enjoy it.**

**thanks to all my reviewers. i luv u all!**

**on with the story!XD**

When I awoke it was not to natural causes. My arms felt like they were being torn apart. I kept my arms shut and writhed on Jazz's chest plates. It was like I was being skinned. My arms suddenly did something weird. It started at my fingertips, a single wave of pain that crept all the up both my arms. It kept going until it had travelled up my entire arm and stopped right at my shoulder where it stopped and intensified at that spot. I shut my eyes tighter and bit my lip to stop a scream. Tears welled in my eyes but didn't fall. Then the pain was gone. It just vanished. I didn't move for a bit before wearily opening my eyes. I sat up and rubbed my head.

And froze

My eyes widened at what I was staring at and the tears in my eyes finally fell. What happened to my arm? A sob wracked my body. I glanced at my other arm and a whimpered sob escaped me. so I really am a freak. My arms are – are – are _metal ._

My arms no longer had skin, flesh, muscle and bone. No. now I could see that they were made of wires and gears, tubes and mechanics. All this could be seen through white metal armour.

Why didn't I see this before, all the signs were there? I hid my face in my now metallic hands and cried, something that I was doing a lot lately, but hey, I was taken from my home, turned into a freak and thrust into war. I deserve this much. I cried, and cried, and cried. Not even the warmth of the rising sun cheered me up.

I guess the sounds of my crying woke Jazz from his stasis because I was soon held in metal hands, surrounded my warm metal and soothing words.

"It's alright lil' Ri. Don' cry, I'm here." His words had no effect on me.

"Alright?" I sobbed. "You call this alright, Jazz? Look at me. I'm a freak!" I cried harder. I want to wake up from this crazy dream, but what if when I wake up I'm still like this. I sobbed harder at the thought.

What I said shut Jazz up and he just went on to trying to stop my crying. When I had calmed down a sudden bloom to be clean served as a reasonable distraction and I snatched it up.

"Jazz? Can…can you put me down please?" I asked quietly. I didn't look into his eyes, or even up at his face. My butt long hair covered me from my guardian very effectively.

I was placed wordlessly on the ground and went over to the stream. After telling Jazz that he needed to leave for a bit, him rejecting, and then me telling him what a bath was, I was removing my clothes and bandages and stepped into the cool water. The stream was waist deep in the middle and I stood there for a bit and relished in the feeling of the water just washing away my thoughts. I dunked under the water and pushed myself back out, running my hands through my hair, cleaning it as much as I could.

I washed myself for a good ten minutes before I caught a glimpse of myself in the water. I just looked at my reflection sadly, seeing the same expression staring back at me. The glow in my chest had brightened and my irises had been consumed by the glowing blue that was my pupils. My arms looked like they had been taken from a cybertronian and stuck on me.

My upper arms had one piece of armour that covered the outside of my arms and came up an inch and a bit from my shoulder. The bottom half of my fore-arms were completely encased in armour and extended up to cover the outside of my fore-arms, leaving most of my inner/under arm bare. The back of my hands had a plate of armour and my fingers reminded me greatly of Jazz's own claws only I still had four fingers and a thumb on each hand.

I also noticed that my hair had grown at an unnatural rate. My copper hair now reached to the middle of my thighs. God, I hope it doesn't grow anymore. My hair was difficult enough to manage.

My stomach then chose it's time to inform me that I hadn't eaten real food in over a week, and no, that stuff they pump into you at the hospital is not food.

I got out of the stream and used my jacket as a make shift towel. I called Jazz back when I was fully dressed and my hair was successfully plaited, I was slightly shock when I was instantly picked up and held to his chassis.

"Took ya long enough." I laughed out loud for the first time in what seemed like years when I heard my guardian grumble this.

"Glad you missed me." I continued to laugh as he curled his fingers a bit closer to me.

"Damn straight." I'm guessing that I wasn't meant to hear that but I did and only made me laugh harder. Jazz continued to grumble as I slowly came down from my high.

"C'mon Jazz, I need some food. I haven't eaten in a week." By the time I had finished speaking I was closing the door to a banged up, should be silver, Pontiac Solstice.

"I thought humans could only survive a few days without food." Came Jazz's voice as he sped through the camping roads and back onto tar-mach.

* * *

><p>It was only when we entered the next town that I realized a very important fact.<p>

"How am I going to get food when I have metal arms." Even though my thought was said to myself it was Jazz that answered me by making bits of holoforms around my arms. I couldn't feel the skin and my fingers felt much thinner then they looked but I smiled a Jazz's help.

"Thanks Jazz."

"No problem lil' Ri."

I now sat inside Jazz's alt form on the side of the road, watching cars pass us as I ate some chicken nuggets I had bought from a MacDonald's.

"Damn, I almost forgot how good these taste." I grinned at the nugget I was about to eat before I shoved it in my mouth. Sooo goood…

"When it comes ta gettin' nutrients ya humans are quite…" I smirk around my food as Jazz trailed off.

"Disgusting?" I filled in politely

"I was gonna say somethin' along the lines of…exotic…but tha' works too." I giggled as Jazz revs his engine slightly. I could see people on the sidewalk looking at me with funny looks but I just smiled and stuck my tongue out.

Suddenly Jazz stopped his revving and sat perfectly still.

"Jazz?" my guardians' sudden silence confused me. What's wrong with him?

"be quiet lil' Ri." I had to strain to hear his voice but I heard it, and I only my confusion rise as well as my worry.

"What's going on? Jazz, what's happening?" I whispered as I sank lower into the leather seat.

"Decepticons."

I froze. Decepticons? Did they find me? Is it a coincident? Why are they here? A sudden fear washed over me and my heart, or was it spark now, began to beat faster. But for some reason, I knew I wasn't fearing for my own life, I was fearing for both Jazz and the shards that still resided on my now metallic right wrist.

I was literally jolted out of my thoughts as Jazz took off down the road. Buildings sped past us and I turned and watched them speed by. That was my mistake. When I had turned I saw exactly why we were going so fast. Right behind us was a black and grey pickup truck and a black SUV. I squealed rather embarrassingly as Jazz suddenly swerved into a construction site. He spun around and I soon myself on the dirt with my guardian standing over me.

"run." The command was simple and the voice was hard but it tore me apart.

"But – but Jazz! I – I can't just – just _leave_ you." I yelled up at the silver robot as I stood, clenching my new hands. I could see the decepticons coming; they were almost on top of us.

"Run. Please lil' Ri. I'll be alright. I'll come find ya." As he said this he looked down as my with his glowing visor, pleading me. I nodded.

"You better come get me." and then I did as I was asked with a heavy heart and ran.

* * *

><p>It was getting dark and I was currently hiding in an alley. I had been there for the better part of an hour. I had run for a long time, almost the whole day. It turns out this town was far bigger than I expected.<p>

"c'mon. c'mon. work!" I continued my grumble as I looked at my arms. I can do it but it only holds for a few minutes before going back.

_Transformation stable_…

"YES! WOHOO!" I jumped into the air and pumped my now human looking arm. I had just managed to transform them into human arms and hands and it was something that made me very excited.

*Grumble*

"uhg. Stupid stomach, needing food. And DAMNIT my wallet's with Jazz. I hope he's alright." I muttered as I walked into the dark street and down the road. I hugged myself, suddenly missing Jazz's warm metal. The cold night penetrated me. It didn't really affect my arms but the rest of my body was shaking.

I crossed the road but stumbled and fell to my knee's when I tripped on a pot hole. I hissed slightly at my now bleeding knees.

"what is with me and injuries this week?" I mumbled as I looked at my new injuries. And as I inspected them I failed to notice the two, matching bright lights that came closer and closer at an alarming rate.

My head shot up when I finally noticed them and jumped up, stumbled, screamed and froze light a dear in the headlights, literally. The car that had been speeding towards me screeched to a stop and I watched as it's drive side door opened and a man god out. Part of my relaxed that it wasn't a decepticon and part of me scream because it wasn't Jazz.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be at home?" the man had a deep voice and worried brown eyes. He also had a bald head but wasn't old. He wore a brown jacket and a pair of dirty jeans.

"Um – uh – I – I – I – it's just – uh…" I just trailed off. I never was good at lying.

"Where do you live kid?" I looked away when the man asked me this and the man seemed to understand because he started talking again.

"Well, if you got nowhere to go then I'm sure my son won't mind having an extra person in the house." I looked up at the bald mans smiling face and just nodded numbly as my stomach grumbled again as and shivers wracked my body. I knew that this guy could be a rapist or a serial killer but something told me that he wasn't, plus, I had nowhere else to go.

* * *

><p>Turns out the man is a mechanic that lives above his work shop with his 17 year old son. The man, James Berren, was really nice and had told me that I could stay as long as I needed.<p>

"Well, here we are. Home sweet home." James said as he opened the door and stood aside so I could go in. he closed the door behind us and walked over to the fridge at the other side of the kitchen/dining room/living room and took out a can of Mountain Dew.

"HEY ALAN! GET OUT HERE AND SAY HELLO TO OUR GUEST!" James yelled to who I presumed was his son. A teen appeared from the hall to my left and looked at his dad, totally missing me. He had messy blond hair and the same brown eyes as his dad. He was easily taller than me, at least six feet. He wore a white singlet and what appeared to be green camo shorts.

"Who did you bring home this time dad?" the boy asked and I could se the joking smile on his face from my position near the door.

"Alan, I'd like you to meet out guest, Marie. She'll be staying with us for a while." James introduced as he waved at me.

I just smiled as Alan turned around and looked at me.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Marie, name's Alan." The boy said as he held his hand out for me to shake, which I did hesitantly.

"uh, nice to meet you too Alan." I replied.

And that was the start of my time with the Berrens.


	7. the PoPo always get it hard

It has been five days since my arrival at the Berren household and still no Jazz. With no way to find him I didn't want to risk leaving where I was. So, I opted for working for my board in James's shop downstairs. That was what I was currently doing, working on some lady's car that need some new suspension.

I rolled out from my position under the hideous box car.

"Hey Alan, can you pass the welder." I asked as I looked at the tall blond boy. He handed my needed tool and I was soon back under the car.

"You know, when I saw you I never would have guessed you to be a grease monkey." Alan laughed as I kicked blindly at him, miss, and then call him a sexist pig.

"Well you gotta know these things when you live on a farm in the middle of nowhere." I replied with an unseen shrug.

"oh? Is that so? And where is this farm?" he asked. I finished my job and rolled back out from the car and sat up. I then proceeded to pack up the tools and wipe my hands on an already dirty rag.

"Australia." A shrug accompanied my simple answer.

We continued in idle conversation as we went up to the loft apartment and started making dinner together.

"Where's James?" I asked as I stopped cutting the carrot in front of me.

"he finished a while ago and went to work on his new project. It's this really slick mustang he found on the side of the road and had towed here. Real nice car except it looks like it's been in a crash derby, lost, beat with a crowbar and dumped." I just stared at nothing for a moment before shaking my head. Can't be, so get it out of your head.

"Be back in a minute." I said as I walked back to the stairs. I knew Alan was going to say something but I just quickened my pace and made my way to the back room.

I found James there, working on the engine of a very damaged saleen mustang with the words '_to punish and enslave_' written on the side. The odd thing was that there was no decepticon insignia, or rather, the panel of metal that it had been on had been torn off completely and it looked as if James had replaced it with another piece as said piece was not yet painted. It also appeared as though many other pieces of the original car had been torn of and replaced.

"Hay James, what are you doing?" I asked innocently as I walked towards him but kept an eye on the car.

"well, I've fixed the engine and it should be able to start only it doesn't start and it is really pissing me off." James replied as he kept sticking his hands around the engine. I winced slightly as I looked on. That can't be comfortable.

There was one thing that stumped me though. If barricade was this damaged, why not go to the decepticon medic? Unless he couldn't. I hummed in thought as I looked blankly at the mustang. There where theories, things I had read. Was it true? Was he really? I gave the once police cruiser a once over. He could crush us right now if he wanted to and yet he didn't. if he really was a decepticon than he would have killed James for even suggesting touching him. Steeling my mind for what I was about to do I asked a seemingly simple question to James.

"could I give it a try." This earned me a look and a shrug as he pulled away from the open hood and motioned me to it.

I took a brief glance at the engine and smiled. I reached up and pulled the hood down, careful not to bang it. I kept my hands on the hood as I smirked at the windshield. I walked to the driver's side and opened the door, plopping down to the seat. I closed the door and lightly griped the steering wheel. With a glance at James, who had his back to me, cleaning tools, I set my plan into action.

"it would be a lot easier for you if you just started your engine you know." I said as I traced a seam in the leather of the steering wheel. I felt a slight shiver run through the car and I smiled softly.

"it's alright, I know who you are, what you are and where you're from. You don't have to hide from me." I continued with tracing the seam

"if you know who I am, then you know that I could kill you right now, so why are you sitting there?" his voice was a soft growl and it made my smile turn sad, confirming my beliefs just a bit more.

"Yes, you could kill me. But the question is; will you? Would you kill me right now? And I'm sitting here because I believe that you wouldn't. I trust that you won't kill me." there was no turning back now.

"Maybe you are wrong human, you should not trust a decepticon." He growled just a bit louder as the seatbelt shot around me, pinning me to the seat. I just sat there calmly as the seatbelt tightened.

"Are you going to kill me? Because if you are, do it now. Go on, kill me right now, I dare you." The seat belt was so tight it was hard to breathe. I gasped for breath when it suddenly slackened and undid.

"I can not." The words were so quiet I almost missed them but they made my theory set in concrete.

"I know." I said and I leaned forward to rest my head on the steering wheel.

"How do you know?" that's more like it, I smiled.

"Because, Prowl, you may not know me, but I know you." I felt the car jolt and the engine suddenly rev loudly before starting to idle.

"How do you –" I quickly cut off the onslaught of questions.

"Tomorrow. I'll come talk to you tomorrow and answer all your questions, but for now you have to turn off your engine." I said. I opened the door and answered all the questions that James gave me with half assed lies. With a quick glance and a smile back at Prowl, I went upstairs and spent the rest of the night thinking of how I could help fix the damage of Prowl's that couldn't be done with tools.

* * *

><p>It was the next day and I had told Prowl everything. it was 11:30 AM and I was full of energy.<p>

"Ok, I'm not sure this is gonna work, but it's worth a try. So relax." I said from my position sitting

cross legged in front of the ex – decepticon. I took in a steady breath and placed my right hand on the front of Prowl's alt form.

I was currently trying to remove the harmful decepticon programming that Prowl had been infected with a long time ago. James was busy working and Alan was at school so I knew we weren't going to be bothered so i had decided to rest. By rest I mean transform my limbs back to their cybertronian form. Oh, and did I forget to tell you? Well, my legs have decided to join my arms in this new 'lets be metal!' fad my body has going on.

My lower thighs had a piece of armour that completely encased them and my upper thighs had a piece that wrapped around the outside. I had a plate of armour that covered the joint of my knee as well. The front of my calves had armour covering them, the top part went around completely and at the bottom two, four inch fin like bits went out behind me, making me look faster. My feet were very weird. They felt completely natural but it looked like I was wearing high heels except where the heel came down was a wheel. It looked like my foot curved over it but I could feel the wheel, when it spun, what was under it. Under the 'toes' of my metal feet was another, smaller wheel, so I could skate with my new legs.

Don't worry, I already freaked out about this this-morning. I came to the conclusion; I can't stop this so I might as well learn how to use my new body, even if I don't like it.

Back to the task at hand. I felt the familiar warmth pulse from the bracelet and radiate though me. I pushed it towards my new companion, begging it to heal him. And to my great astonishment, it did just that.

By the time the energy had receded back to me Prowl looked as good as new, only without the decepticon symbol, which I was curious about. Either it was something to do with me or the all-spark shards didn't want to put it there.

"Prowl?" I questioned as I got up and placed my hands on the hood softly.

"It's gone… the part of me that wanted to kill, it's just… gone." He sounded shocked and happy and excited, it made me grin widely. I squealed happily and flung myself onto the hood of Prowl's alt form. I hugged the car from my position as well as I could with my metal arms, laughing all the more as Prowl spluttered indignantly at my actions. *sigh*, looks like he's already going back to his old self, that's good.

I jumped up, a sudden, brilliant idea spawning in my head. I ran into the main work room, leaving a confused Prowl in my wake. This was after changing my limbs into human looking ones, that is

"hey James! Is it alright if I take your project out for a little test drive? Please please pleeeeeaaaassse! I'll even go and pick up Alan so you don't have to!" I rushed, cutting off James's objections. He didn't say anything for a few moments, just looked over my begging form, before giving a silent no and turning back to his work.

I gave a loud whoop of joy and pumped my fist into the air as I rushed back to Prowl. But when I got there it was to a completely colour scheme the saleen mustang. Turns out Prowl didn't like being mostly black, plus he had hidden his red and blue lights from the top of his alt. Prowl was now white with a thick black line running along his right side. The police lights were still there only now they were now hidden next to the license plates and inside the cab of the alt, behind the very dark tinted windows, sitting on the dash board. I smiled at this as I scooped up the keys from the bench and opened the garage door. I looked out and motioned for Prowl to drive out and closed the garage behind him. I sat in the driver's seat and the seatbelt instantly came around my.

"So we're undercover cops now." I smirked again as Prowl started to drive. I kept my hands on the wheel, but let Prowl drive. We ended up in an abandoned factory not too far from the school, or so Prowl says.

I got out and Prowl transformed. He didn't look like barricade anymore; he looked more like he did in G1. I wonder who else from the other branch offs are going to be here. And it looks like I'm starting to form a band of misfit rejects. Well, not so my rejects, but you get what I mean. I giggled at my thoughts, which made Prowl look at me funny. It still amazed me how he hadn't glitched with all the things I had told him.

He was soon sitting on the ground with me sitting in his hand. He was bigger than Jazz, maybe a bit taller than bumblebee, but not by much. We sat and talked, mainly about random stuff based on the others planet and some about Jazz. I ate the food that we had picked up on the way and before I knew it, it was time to go and get Alan from school.

Now, I know what you're thinking, why not just let him drive himself or catch a bus. You see, there is no bus station anywhere near where the Berren's house, which I think is a design flaw, and they can't really afford another car just yet.

I clambered back into Prowl and closed the door and put on the seatbelt. Prowl drove the few minutes it took the get to the school and parked near the front door. Just as I had gotten comfortable in my position on the white hood of Prowl's alt did the bell ring for school to end.

I'm glad I don't have to go to school. Then again, if I was in my dimension and in Australia, I would be starting school in just a few days.

I ignored the looks most of the students gave me and continued to scan the entrance to the school for Alan. I caught sight of him talking to four other people, all of them guys. He spotted me and I guess he hadn't said anything to his friends as he walked up. I smiled at his shocked look that went between me and the saleen mustang that I sat own.

"you might want to close your mouth Alan, you might catch flies."I giggled a bit as he snapped his mouth shut with a click.

"whoa, dude, you know this chick?" a black haired boy asked as he gapped at me and Prowl.

"uh, yeah kinda. Guys, this is Marie, she's a stray my dad pick up the other night. Marie, this is Blake, Jason, Mike and Greg." I nodded to each boy and gave them all a bright smile.

"nice to meet you." I said and got mumbled responses from the shocked teens. Alan turned to me and pointed to the car.

"is that-" he started but I quickly cut him off.

"Yes, this is pr- the mustang that your dad was working on, this is the test run." I said nervously, inwardly cursing myself for the slip up.

After some goodbyes from the still shocked teens Alan and I were on our way back to the Berren's household. I pulled up into the garage and Prowl opened his door for my when Alan wasn't looking. My, what a gentleman. The sudden urge to look up overcame me and when I did look over prowls roof and down the road joy consumed my as my eyes landed on someone I hadn't seen in over a week.

The Jazz-man was back.


	8. reunited that which was lost

I couldn't control it, the sudden urge to be _close_ was just too strong, to know that he was okay and be by his side. I could hear it in my head; Jazz is safe, safe. He is protector. Warm. _Safe._ And while that simple thought confused me greatly, where the hell did they come from? I ignored common sense for now and ran towards the dented solstice. I faintly heard Alan yell at me as I collapsed onto my guardians' hood, curled up and jut lay there. The engine rumbled softly under me and the metal was warm. I faintly heard Alan yelling at me for something or another and the tapping of his footsteps but I ignored them and snuggled deeper into the metal.

"You're back. You're here and you're back." Something in the back of my mind was telling me I was acting like a lost child that had just found their parents but the truth is…that is exactly how I felt. When Jazz wasn't here I felt lost, like something was missing, and now he's back and it's like I just found that missing part and I don't want to let go.

"Marie! What are you doing?" I lifted my head and looked at Alan, who was right next to Jazz's alt form, with streaming eyes and just smiled and put my head back down on his hood.

"Marie?" This time it was James. The bald man was standing next to his son with a worried look on his face. His eyes constantly flickered between me and the Pontiac solstice that I lay on. James took a step closer but jumped, and so did I, as Jazz revved threateningly.

Prowl had moved now, he was now nose to nose with Jazz, or as much as he could in his alt form. So it's true, they are sparkmates. Prowls engine was just a purr and it seemed to calm Jazz down as his softened to match it. I smiled at Prowl then turned my attention to the shocked father and son. I climbed off of Jazz's hood and Jazz jet out a sad sound. I shocked myself when my body instantly responded with a soft, metallic croon that seemed to ease my guardians sadness.

"Marie, what the hell is going on?" James asked as he pulled both me and Alan away from the reunited sparkmates.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but I just couldn't trust you. Plus, if I _had_ told you, you could have been in danger." I replied and looked at James who shook his head quickly. It was Alan though who picked up the questions.

"how can two cars, _cars,_ not only move on their own but do whatever it is they are doing." He said, hand waving to said robots.

I looked back and smiled at the sight of Jazz and Prowl, bumpers touching, sending croons and revs back and forth. The site made a strong desire to trill sure up in me and I couldn't stop myself when the mechanical trill came from my throat. I smiled uncontrollably when I got two in reply. What is up with me? croons? Trills? What the hell? This is almost as weird as turning into a cybertronian.

"what the hell was that?" I looked back at Alan who had this strange look on his face, though he looked curious. I rubbed my neck sheepishly and let out a nervous chuckle.

"I'm not too sure myself." I quickly regained my composure and looked up at both of them.

"I'm sorry guys bat I can't really tell you much. You can't tell anyone that you know me, your lives could be put in danger. Thanks a lot for helping me when I had nowhere to go and for fixing Prowl up. I hope we can meet again." I walked over to the two cybertronians and ignored the words being said by the two people behind me. Jazz opened his driver's door for me and I happily slid into the seat. The door closed and the seatbelt shot around me and clicked into place. I looked into the passenger seat and smiled when I saw that Jazz had kept my backpack. We were soon heading around the corner with Prowl close behind.

I curled up and snuggled into the seat and let my arms and legs come out of their 'alt' forms as I now have come to call their human forms.

"it's good ta have ya back lil' Ri. I've missed ya." Jazz said and I just let out a contented noise.

A wave of tiredness washed over me and I just now realized how much my entire body hurt.

"I bet when I wake up I won't have one bit of human in me." I said sadly. It's strange; there has been no pattern in when part of my body changes

A sudden wave of…something washed over me. It was warm, and it made me feel safe. It took a while but I finally managed to put a name to this strange wave. Comfort. It was a wave of comfort and it made me relax instantly. Where it came from was a mystery to me but a piece of me could _feel_ the one that had done it and that they didn't like me being sad. I just smiled and accepted this strange sensation, like I was learning to do with everything else in my topsy turvy new life.

* * *

><p>Ugh, what the… why is it so dark? Why can't I move? Why can't I hear anything? What's going on?<p>

_Systems check_. What? What the hell is that?

_Spark functionality – stable 78% repairing_

_Processor functionality – stable 62% repairing_

_Servo capability – online_

_Auditory sensors – online_

_Olfactory sensors – online_

_Weapons – none – final frame needed_

_Frame – second frame, change successful – frame stable_

_Flight stabilisers - online_

_Energon levels – CRITICAL! CRITICAL! SEEK ASSISTANCE! ENERGON LEVELS 10%_

_Optics – online_

All this flashed across my vision as I could suddenly see the world around me. The words ENERGON LEVELS CRITICAL stayed in my vision, flashing in blue writing. I tried to move but I felt so weak and my stomach was begging for food. Suddenly Jazz was above me, calling my name; I tried to respond but could only manage a pathetic whimper.

Prowl soon joined Jazz above me only he was holding something. More words came into my vision and identified it for me.

_Energon – needed_

Why do I need Energon? What is happening. The strange container with its pink substance was lowered to my lips and I instinctively drank it, choking slightly but kept drink the sweet liquid.

_Energon levels low – 43%_

I was still weak but that stuff, the Energon, had made me feel much better. I sat up and found that I was being held to Jazz's chest as Prowl fed me the Energon, frankly, I suddenly felt like a baby, being fed like that.

"Jazz, wha – " I clapped a hand over my mouth when what I had been saying came out in chirps and whirs and clicks. I let out another whimper that was impulsively followed by a loud trill that made both Jazz and Prowl freeze.

Before I knew it both Jazz and prow were letting out this soft purring noise that had me instantly relaxing into the hands that held me to silver metal. Why did I relax like that and why the HELL did they react when I trilled? What does it mean? I'm come _on_ I was human not long ago, cut me some slack.

"it's alright lil' Ri. Yer safe."Jazz said, only he didn't say it in English, from what I can tell Jazz is talking in cybertronian and so was i. I leaned more into Jazz's chest plates and looked up at Prowl.

"what's going on Prowl? I'm scared." I said with wide eyes, or optics as my 'internal systems' called them.

"it is alright Marie, there is no need to be scared. Your transformation from human to cybertronian is complete." I froze at his words. I started struggling in Jazz's hands, yelling at him to put me down. We were in an abandoned factory it seemed as I struggled to walk over to a puddle of _something_ on the ground a ways away.

I sobbed slightly. I know I said that I would accept it but it's just happening so fast. I looked down at the mechanical face that stared sadly back up at me. I was still the size of a human but everything else was different. My chest was covered in two separate plates that curved around to my back and my hips had matching pieces of armour covering. There was also a plate that covered that place between my thighs.

My face had two plates that covered my cheeks and another that framed my forehead. I had a black ridge that went down the middle to the back of my white helm. I also had two fins that looked almost exactly the same as Jazz's on the sides of my head only mine were the same bright red as the crest on Prowl's own head. I didn't have hair or the metallic dreads that the pretender Alice had but I did have one, thicker dread that came from the black ridge at the back of my head and the dread itself was black. My optics were a glowing blue and the right one had a transparent blue, visor/screen thing over it.

The last things I noticed where the thinks peaking over my shoulders. Two, jet like wings. I had wings. That's what it meant by flight stabilizers. Does this make me a seeker? The wings were white with black tips and folded upwards, extending a little bit above my head.

I wobbled to my feet and looked up at Jazz and Prowl with energon tears dripping from my optics. I was suddenly washed with strange feelings, feelings that I knew weren't mine. I looked at Jazz and Prowl. They were theirs. I could feel what they feel and they could do the same for me. I stared at them as I felt them send me feelings of comfort and, to my surprise, love. But I knew it was different to how they loved each other. It was more like – like a parent loves their child.

That's it. It all clicked into place in my head as I took a step towards them only to break out into a run. I was scooped up and held between and that strange purring started up again. I understand now. I may have lost a family from one dimension and race, but I gained another family from a different dimension and an alien race. I may be sad that I am no longer human but that sadness was quickly being washed away by the two mechs surrounding me.

Because they are my family now, and I am their sparkling


	9. something unexpected

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was sitting inside Prowl's alt form as we made our way down a busy highway. The windows were tinted darkly and I guessed it was because I was still in my robot form. I just sat up and watched as words scrolled down my vision. In the corner of my vision were two funny little symbols. One looked like some sort of chart and the other looked like a cybertronian. Curious, I mentally tried to 'pick' the one of the little robot. The icon blinked twice and then en-largened and filled about half my vision as two other, smaller pictures appeared, one of a human and the other a box with the word 'alt' in the corner and a large red X. well, looks like I can't have an alt yet.

I got the images out of my vision and the icon went back to its place and I looked out the window at the pacing land, more specifically, the sky. I wanted to be up there, to be in the clouds, but I had no idea of how to go about it. I knew that I needed to learn how to fly, and soon, if I didn't want to fall to the insanity of sky-hunger.

I paid little attention when Prowl turned off the busy highway and down the road, turning again onto a dirt road surrounded my fields. I kept my attention on the sky and imagined what it would be like to feel the wind rush past and to twirl through the clouds. I let out a sigh and pulled out of my thoughts when Prowl opened the door for me. I let out a light laugh and spread my arms to the wind that gentle swept around me, making my one black, mid calve dread sway and my wings twitch. I felt my wings move so they were no longer upright but horizontal and just begging to be used.

"sky hunger." Jazz muttered behind me with a curse and I couldn't when bring myself to laugh when I heard Prowl elbow him.

"unfortunately." Prowl responded and I could feel their eyes on my back as well as their worry through the bond we now shared.

I wish I could fly right now, I want to so much. If only I knew how. I jumped a bit when words started to appear at the edge of my vision and I quickly read them and my eyes widened. Apparently it is in every seekers programming to know how to fly. I guess that answers whether I'm a seeker or just a flyer.

Before I knew it I was hovering and I looked down at the ground a few feet below me. a maniacal laughed ripped from my throat, uh, vocal processor. I concentrated and re-read the words at the edge of my vision then looked forward with determination. If can't go home then I damn well ain't gonna sit around and go insane.

I shot forward, wobbling a bit as I flew upwards before evening out. I could hear Jazz and Prowl calling me back and I could feel their worry but all I could do was laugh as I broke through a cloud that left me covered in water that quickly dried off as I zoomed and twirled in the air. My god this is amazing! I could feel the air rush past every piece of armour, every wire. No wonder cybertronians can go insane from being away from this. I never stopped laughing once as I flew around.

I flew back to where me new family was and made circles around them, rolling in the air and giggling all the while. I heard Jazz laugh at my happiness and caught a glimpse of Prowl's smile. I came to a stop in front of them and hovered at eye level until Prowl raised his hand and I landed on his hand. Unfortunately I wasn't to good at that, it appeared. I crashed into the large white and black mechs hand when I failed to slow down.

I rubbed my head and looked at the much larger mech with wide optics. A word suddenly popped into my head and I tilted my head in confusion and looked down for a moment. I looked back at Prowl and the word popped into my head again.

"Ama?" I questioned, what does it mean? I've never heard that word before. Why did I suddenly think of it? My look of confusion intensified as Prowl froze and looked down at me with wide optics. Jazz snickered to my right and I turned to look at him as another word popped into my head.

"Aita?" Jazz gave me a wide grin when I said this and gently ran a finger between my now folded up wings.

"tha's right lil' Ri." Jazz laughed again and I flew over to him, as Prowl was still frozen in place. Unfortunately, I failed once again to slow myself and ran into his chest and fell into his waiting hands. I stood up and shook my head, folding my wings up and looked at the frozen Prowl and then at Jazz.

"What's wrong with Prowl, Aita?" I asked, compulsively using that strange word again. Why did I use it? I was going to say Jazz but I just couldn't speak it.

"Ya glitched 'im lil' Ri. He wasn' expectin' ya ta call 'im Ama." Jezz snickered again and started to run a finger along my back in a soothing motion.

"did I say something wrong?" I asked as I looked up at him.

"Naw. Ama, in human terms, is mother or femme creator. Aita means father or mech creator." I looked up at Jazz with shock. I had called them that? Well, I guess I am a sparkling now, though apparently on my second frame. I paused for a second. I just realized, I'm taller, by at least a foot. When the hell did I grow so much? And for some reason my body felt…tight? Uncomfortable?

_New frame needed – seek assistance_

Sometime during my musings Prowl had awoken from his glitch and I looked up with worry. He seemed to sense it and softly pet my head with a much larger finger.

"What is it sweetspark." He said softly and I let out a scared whirr.

"Ama, what does it mean when I need a new frame?" I asked Prowl. I knew, from my dimension and the thing I had looked up over the years that cybertronians change their frames as they grow but I didn't think they grew this fast, it's only been a day. Prowl's optics widened and he glanced at Jazz.

"That fast? You shouldn't need a new frame for at least a vorn." Prowl replied with a worried glance.

"But I can see it? It says 'new frame needed – seek assistance'. And I feel really tight." Ever since I got to this dimension almost two weeks ago I have had no idea what is going on. I hope I don't stay in the dark forever.

"I think we need ta build 'er a new frame Prowler." Jazz said and Prowl nodded in agreement.

"We need to hurry to find what we need and we can use some of the parts on her current frame as well." I was soon lost as they started talking about how they were going to build my third frame.

Unable to contribute to the conversation I thought about my situation. I was in a different dimension, that was easy and I accept that. I don't want to be used, a simple request. I am now an alien robot, I may not like it that much but flying is fun. I am having the weirdest compulsions to act like a five year old and poke everything and ask questions and run around, I guess that ties in to me now being a sparkling. Speaking of sparkling, I am now the adopted, I think, sparkling of Prowl and Jazz, something I never, in all my life, expected to happen. I am growing at an exceeding fast rate according to my new 'parents', of which the only explanation is that it has something to do with the all-spark shards that still hung from my right wrist, and the fact that a sparkling could barely survive in a war so my body could be adapting and growing faster.

Oh, and I think I am somewhere in or just before the second movie, judging by the date. I'll have to keep an eye, er – optic, out for anything suspicious. We might need to plan a surprise trip to Egypt, I didn't like it when the Arcee triplets died in the second movie and I won't let them if I can stop it, I will stop all unnecessary deaths, even if that means showing myself. I hate death and killing and war, they are all horrible things, and whoever invented war should go rot in hell. I guess you could say I'm something of a pacifist but I might have to give that up now that I'm, well, in the Transformers dimension.

I felt my chest tighten around my new spark and a grunted from it, is this what happens when you need a new frame? It felt like I had a massive weight on my chest.

_NEW FRAME NEEDED – IMMIDIATE ASSISTENCE REQIERED._

I stumbled to my feet and wobbled over to Jazz and Prowl and let out a few frantic clicks. It quickly got their attention and I was about to speak when a new message flashed in front of my and made my optics widen.

_STASIS LOCK IMMINANT_

I let out a distressed warble as I felt my body curl into itself and start to shut down everything that wasn't needed to keep my spark online.

_Stasis lock – active_

_Warning sensors – online_

_Security systems – online _

_Emergency reboot – functioning_

I could feel the worry of Prowl and Jazz but I was soon consumed by blackness that had already claimed my optics.


	10. rise and shine

What's going on? Where am i? why is it so dark?

I looked around, confused that there was nothing but swirling darkness. The last thing I remember was the worry that came from my Ama and Aita.

What where their names? What did they look like?

Images suddenly burst into life around me, slowly rotating as if they were projected onto screens, surrounding me. large robots. Massive. One was silver and the other was black and white. Ama and Aita? Yes, that's who they are, but still, they aren't.

Jazz and Prowl.

Yes! That are there names! I remember now. But something is wrong with these pictures. Some look like they are cartoons. Yes, they are cartoons from…from…argh! Where are they from?

_Transformers! More than meets the eye!_

I spun quickly, trying to find the source of that strange music. It was so familiar. Where do I know it from? More images replaced the ones of my Ama and Aita. Images of a young girl, me, maybe seven years old, sitting with a slightly older boy that looked just like her. They were sitting on a rug in front of and old TV, eyes glued to the screen as cartoon robots shot each other. The young girl leant forward from where she was in the older boys, her brothers, lap and shouted at the TV, yelling that the 'Autobots' had to win.

I remember now. I used to watch the show with my brother all the time in my-my…my what?...dimension! Yes! That's it! I used to watch it all the time in my dimension but I can't anymore because I'm in a different dimension, one where these-these….transformers! Yeah! In this dimension the transformers are real. I got here because I found a piece of the all-spark shard. I revived Jazz and helped make Prowl better and they, well I think they adopted me because i…i… what did I do?

More images, this time of someone looking at their own reflection, my reflection. Each picture showed more and more of the girl as a robot, a cybertronian. I remember that I was scared of being a cybertronian because I wouldn't be able to go back home. They didn't hate me for it, I know that, they supported me and took me in. they cared for me and protected me. they were my Ama and Aita and when I fully changed they took me in because I was a sparkling.

Suddenly all the images left. What is going on? I gasped when I suddenly felt like I was being cramped. As if something was encasing me and putting more and more pressure on. It felt like I was being crushed. Just as suddenly the feeling changed and it felt I was being twisted and pulled, lifted up and tossed around. This is sooo not fun.

Then it stopped and it felt like is enveloped in a large fuzzy blanket. I could hear these noises, strange humming noises, and they were so soothing. I felt my eyes grow heavy and I curled up, trying to get more of heavenly warmth. The humming noise was getting louder and I could hear familiar pitches in it. I closed my eyes and listened to the soothing hum.

"Ri."

Ri, what a strange word, it sounds like a title, a name.

"c'mon Ri, wake up."

I wonder who was talking, it kinda reminds me of Jazz. Yeah, that's who it is. Jazz is talking. But who is Ri? Why won't he call for me?

Who are you talking to Aita? Where are you?

"you must wake up now Marie, please wake up."

Prowl. That was Prowl's voice. Who is he talking to? Marie? Why does it sound familiar?

"c'mon lil' Ri, ya gotta wake up."

That was Jazz again, he sounds so worried. I remember that word, lil' Ri. He used to call me that. Is that my name? Ri? Was Prowl talking to me as well? Was Ri just a nick name? Marie must be my full name, they must be talking to me.

I want to see you Ama, Aita. Where are you? How do I find you?

I whimpered when I felt my warmth pull away from me. I snapped my eyes open and staggered to my feet in this strange darkness, trying to follow it. Ama and Aita's voices were leaving. Don't leave. I stumbled after the warmth. I could see a strange light in front of me. that is where the warmth is. That is where Ama and Aita are. I have to go there.

I staggered into that strange light and sank to my knees. it was nice here, the warmth was here. And for some strange reason, I felt like I was free, completely free.

I curled back up in this new warmth and hummed happily, closing my eyes as the light got brighter and brighter. But I don't mind.

It's was nice here.

* * *

><p><em>Stasis lock: deactivating<em>

_Deactivating…_

_Deactivating…_

_Stasis lock: deactivated_

I opened my eyes and looked around at the strange room I was in. I was lying on my back, and for some reason everything looked smaller then I remember it should be. Suddenly there was something above me. two worried optics staring down at me.

"Aita?" as soon as this word left my mouth I was being engulfed in a hug. Wait a second. Last I checked I was too small for Jazz and Prowl to hug me properly so how is Jazz doing it now? Once I had managed to be released from Jazz's hug I was caught in another by someone much larger.

I let out a confused chirp as Prowl released me and I looked down, trying to get my thoughts together. I don't think looking down was a very good idea.

I squealed, or really, it was a high pitched metallic screech. I looked the same as I did before this, at least I'm pretty sure I did, only I was bigger. How the hell did this happen?

_Third frame: fully functional_

Oh…OH! I remember. I needed a new frame for some reason just a little while after I completely turned into a freak, uh I mean, cybertronian.

"lil' Ri?" I looked over to Jazz, my Aita. For some reason just thinking of Jazz as my father my heart, spark, swell.

"yeah Aita?" I asked.

"are ya 'kay, fully functionin'?" the fact that he was worried for me just made me more happy and the situation with me in the wrong dimension and totally different body seem, well, good.

"I'm totally fine Aita. Nothing to worry about." I smiled up at Jazz before standing, surprised slightly that I didn't stagger. It was then that I noticed that I was taller, a lot taller. I now came up to just a little bit above Jazz's hips.

I wonder what we should do now? A thought suddenly came to me. we can't wait for something to appear on the news. If I'm right the events of the second movie were going to happen soon and we needed to get to Egypt. I don't want to see the Arcee triplets dead. I don't want to see any of them dead. I spun on my heel, which was actually a wheel, to Prowl.

"Ama, is there any way we could get to Egypt?" I asked and tried to laugh at the confused expression on the cybertronian cop.

"you just got your third frame and awoke from stasis lock and wish to go to Egypt? Why is that?" I smiled up at the taller mech before sighing slightly.

"we have to go Prowl, I don't want people to die. I can't just stay here knowing that I could do something. I would never forgive myself." I crouched down and wrapped my arms around myself, my mid calf long dread wrapping around to wrest in my lap and my wings drooped.

I froze. In the corner of my vision was those little icons I had noticed before I went into stasis lock. I picked the one that looked like a robot and smiled when I enlargened. Ignoring the mechs discussing above me I studied what had appeared. What do we have here? I could still turn into a human? How is that even possible? Wait, don't answer that, I'm from another dimension and was once a human. It probably has something to do with the all-spark though.

I picked the human form and almost laughed as I felt myself start to fold inward. Soon I was in my human alt form, wearing a pair of torn blue jeans, white shirt with black trim, white and black miss matched converse and my hair in a long braid and a red flower clip just behind my right ear. I was also wearing a pair of visor like sun glasses and my all-spark shard bracelet.

The two mech above didn't notice that I was now much smaller and continued on their argument about Egypt.

"Ama! Aita! Look! I can turn into a human still." I beamed up at them as they looked down at my in shock.

"looks like we're goin' ta Egypt then." Jazz said cheerfully as he bounced on his feet. I smiled wider and turned to Prowl.

"I still do not see why, but if it is what you want than I will go." I laughed as I felt his slight irritation over our new bond and I tried, and succeeded, to send him all of my amusement and happiness. He seemed content with my response and trilled at me.


	11. mom?

**i am really really sorry for the wait but this chapter gave me writters block and i had no idea what to do. ugh! i had writers block! whoever invented it should go die in a hole somewhere and then come back to life so i can kill them myself! oh wait! they're probably dead already. damn, what selfish pigs, not letting me kill them.**

**oh well, nothing i can do about it, or is there... L.L"**

**this chappie is dedicated to metalatron-she-lives who gave me the best review and really gave me a confidence boost.**

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><p>It's weird. I have been turned into a cybertronian that's, oh let's see, 9-10 feet tall and yet I can compact myself down into the size of a roughly 5 foot human. It feels strange though, like I'm in a suit 5 times too small. I wriggled in my spot in Jazz's driver's seat and my hands clenched the steering wheel just that much tighter. Sure I love being able to look, and feel, like a human even if I'm now a cybertronian, but I can't help but feel…naked…without the armour I so recently obtained. Is this how Alice the Pretender felt? I relaxed when I felt love and soothing feelings over my new creator bonds that's forced my body to relax into the leather seat as Jazz and Prowl took my irritation from me.<p>

We were currently on our way to the airport. The plan was that I was going to go in as a human and use the money we hacked from an ATM to buy a ticket to get to Egypt and while doing that I would ask if I could get Jazz and Prowl on the plane.

It didn't help that I looked like a 17 year old and I had to be taught how to make a holoform so I could forge a passport. Jazz let me out in front of the airport and he and Prowl just drove off to park somewhere. I walked in, mindful of my new senses, and made my way over to the line of people waiting to get their own tickets because they had been too lazy to get them online.

Yawn. This is probably the most boring thing that has happened since I got to this dimension. It took me half an hour for me to get to the serving desk and even then it too another 15 minutes for me to sort everything out. So now I was walking with one of the men that worked there towards where I could sense Jazz and Prowl and he would help me 'drive' the two seemingly cars towards and onto the plane.

"we almost there?" the suited man asked as he looked down at me sceptically. He was probably wondering why I have two cars.

"yeah we are. It's just over there." I replied blandly and my braid twitched. It's feels weird being able to feel through, and move, your hair. I smiled softly and felt the amusement of my new family as the man next to me stopped and his jaw hic the concrete. I just walked over Jazz and opened the door, running my human hand over the scratched paint of the roof, and motioned for the man to get in.

I walked over and Prowl opened the door for me and we soon peeled away from the parking spots to follow Jazz and the airport employee to the plane.

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><p>The plane ride, for all intents and purposes, was long. The nice lady sitting next to me with her husband thought that I shouldn't be riding by myself on a plane and asked me where my parents were. I told them I was meeting them in Egypt. The young couple also tried to get me to eat some of the plane food, saying that they didn't want me to get sick. It felt nice to have people worry about me.<p>

When I got outside I stood at the pickup place. It was hot, a little blinking light in the corner of my vision told me so but it didn't bother me as much as it should have. Maybe it's harder for cybertronians to hot than it is for humans, it makes sense; humans have a smaller body mass and less area to heat. Plus, humans are very sensitive creatures.

Wow, where the hell did all that come from? Calling humans creatures? I was human just a few days ago. Maybe being cybertronian also comes with a certain mind set.

I shook my head, pushing those thought to the back of my mind as I waited for two employees to drive Jazz and Prowl around to the front of the air port.

I looked to my right as I heard a commotion. A group of women where surrounding a man with short brown hair, a lean yet muscled body and bright blue eyes. He wore a plain white tee shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. The man looked up and our eyes met.

_Ama_

I smiled brightly as I made my way over to the group and pushed my way into and through the crowd of women, earning me my fair share of glares and indignant 'hey's. I just smiled at all the glaring women before turning to Prowl's holoforms and smiling up at him brightly. He must be here to look like he was picking me up.

"Ama." I said and in return I got a warm smile. I couldn't help myself when I jump at my new mother, or equivalent of a mother. Being separated for those hours had made my heart wrench, and I did not like it. I did not like it at all.

"it is good to see you again sweetspark." Prowl said softly as he wrapped holomatter arms around my shoulders. I turned my head to the side and smirked at all the glaring and gaping women. Well we can't have that now can we? So, pulling away slightly, I addressed them

"I'm sorry, but could you please leave me and my _mom_ alone?" I said and my smile grew when they took on the faces of gaping fish. I giggled slightly when I heard Prowl stutter and my smile grew as I caught sight of Jazz and Prowl's alt forms.

"c'mon _mom_ *giggle* dad's waiting." Prowl's holoforms just followed me dumbly in the Egyptian heat to the alt forms and let me guide him to, well, himself.

I slipped into Jazz and laughed when the seatbelt snapped over me and tightened in a type of weird hug.

"miss me?" I laughed out loud as my Aita started to grumble softly about sparkling's and sarcasm.

"thought so." My laughter died down eventually as I watched the Egyptian deserts roll past. I would be flying, but being so close to a battle that was soon to come and all the decepticons in Egypt, that would not be a very good, or safe, idea.

I sunk into the warm, familiar, missed leather and sighed contently.

Yes. I think I wouldn't mind _too_ much if I had to stay in this dimension, after all, I would be with family.


	12. founding of a youngling

**thank you my lovies for all my reviews! sorry for the wait but i just got a new computor because my old one decided to go on permanant strike. i had to organize the new one that i am now using. and even better! it is the best comp in the house! even better than my brothers desk top which is really really powerful. and mine is a laptop!**

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><p>The thing about the desert that I hate the most is that is full of sand. You look right: hey look, some sand. You look left: hey look, some more sand. And even worse, it somehow manages to get everywhere. I absolutely hate it.<p>

What I am doing, you say? Well I am trying to convince Jazz and Prowl that that they can't come to the battle with me. Let's just say that they are not so fond of the idea.

"You. Are. Not. Going. Alone." Prowl growled out as they towered over me, even in my cybertronian form. I looked up at the angry mechs with big optics and I hunched my shoulders and intimidating sight. The bond I had with them was not helping me either, seeing as I didn't know how to control it yet. I could feel their worry and disapproval and drowning waves that made me shiver.

"But Ama, you two can't go. You would draw way to much attention. All I am going to do is go in, stop the Arcee triplets from dying and get out. That's it, no more, no less." I pleaded and I hardened my resolve to their flood of emotion.

"We jus' found ya, our only sparklin', a week ago. We are not about ta let ya go and get ya' self get killed." Jazz argued back. Has it really been just over a week? It feels like forever since I found jazz and he became my guardian.

"But that's just it! I won't get killed. I won't be fighting! I'll hide and sneak my way to the triplets!" I shot back. I glared at them stubbornly and sent them what I felt about this. I did not want them drawing attention, especially when one is meant to be dead and the other was captured by depticons and turned into one himself.

My wings twitched slightly and I got the sudden urge to fly but I pushed it away and glared harder at my new parents. My new, over protective parents. Prowl sighed and Jazz looked at him with a strange look in his visor. My own half visor and visible optic flashed triumphantly.

"Alright. But, we will be close by and we will kill anyone that hurts you." Prowl said gravely and I smiled widely and hugged Prowls' legs, the only thing I could really reach on him. I did the same to Jazz only I could reach his waist.

I walked back a bit and transformed, for the first time, into my vehicle mode. I had gotten it when we were driving past an air base after we got to Egypt. It was an RQ-170 sentinel drone, but I was much smaller than it was originally designed to be, only about 3 meters from wing tip to wing tip. I was completely white and the tips of my wings were black. I was much faster than the actual uav was and much more manoeuvrable.

"don't worry, I'll be back soon!" I said and quickly took off towards where my internal GPS was telling me where the pyramids were. It's sort of useful having it; it felt like this invisible string was just slightly tugging at you, pulling you where you need to go.

I sent comforting feelings across our bond and smiled when I felt their ever so slight happiness. I relished in the feeling of the wing rushing past me, caressing my metal 'skin' and swirling around me, pushing me through the air.

I rolled through the air, laughing slightly as I zoomed across the sky. My friend from my dimension, Lee, would be so jealous. He had always wanted to fly a plane. His dream was to be a pilot in the army. I bet he would think it would be the coolest thing ever to be a plane. I sighed and tried to imagine what it would be like to fly through the sky with the over excitable teenage boy. My laugh became sad as I remembered him. What would my friends think of me now being a cybertronian? HA! They would say it was the coolest thing in the world since the PlayStation.

I brought my attention back to my surroundings when I started to hear the sounds of battle. Feelings of worry and fear flooded me from my parents. With their worry came a feeling of being loved well up in my and I sent that feeling full force towards them as I started my decent into the war zone, careful not to be seen. I landed with a slight thud and I crouched down close to the sand, freezing in case anyone had noticed me. Flashing blue words appeared on the right side of my vision.

_Jamming systems: 100%_

I smiled and slowly crept forward so I could peek around the building I landed behind. My long dread swayed out behind me, balancing my weight so I didn't topple.

Glancing around the corner I had to force myself not to move or make a single noise from the terrible, awesome, tragic sight that lay before me. All around humans and autobots' fought against a large amount of deceptions'. My eyes were drawn particularly to a single silver mech with wheels instead of feet. It took me a moment but I realised who it was quick enough.

Sideswipe was vicious. He gave the opposing mechs no mercy as he tor them apart in a gruesome display of his hatred towards them. My heart went out to him and I could swear I almost felt the pain and loss he was feeling. After all, he had no idea if his brother was still alive. I thought came to my mind but I quickly shunned it and focused on the task at hand.

I turned just in time to see the Arcee triplets, Arcee, Chromia and Moonracer, swerve up behind the running Sam and Makaela in, what I knew as, a futile attempt to protect them. I watched on in terrible sadness as Megatron ran behind, shooting off his cannon at the biker triplets, sending them to the sand. I was forced to wait until they had left the pillars before I made my move.

With one last glance around I ran forwards, sprinting towards the fallen femmes. I knelt beside the pink, slightly taller, Arcee and ran my hands lightly over the fatal wound. I tried, I really did, but the energy that I had used twice before just refused to come to me.

GOD DAMMIT! I WANT TO HEAL THEM! THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS! I'll do anything, _anything_, for them to live. It was with those thoughts that I heard it, at least, I think I heard it; a soft, warm, murmur in the back of my mind that seemed to say something that I couldn't make out, but the voice was relaxing, slowing my raging spark and soothing the guilt I felt for just a moment.

And then I _knew_.

I knew what I had to do. With me on half conscious of my actions, my hands transformed from hands and into different kinds of tools. My body was autopilot or something as I repaired the damage with this strange new knowledge. The ability to do this had come over me so suddenly that it had surprised me but I couldn't stop what I was doing, I had next to no control of my body. Even if I could stop I wouldn't. This knowledge had come from the All-spark. I _knew_ that, and that voice, it had come from the cube as well.

Faster than I thought possible I had done minimal repairs to the three sisters and their sparks were beating. My head whipped around as I heard a sound behind me. There, coming over the dunes were to mechs, autobots that I recognised instantly. Ratchet and Bumblebee had obviously come to retrieve the bodies of their supposed dead comrades.

My wings and dread froze in their place as the two mechs, only about twenty feet from me, caught sight of me with my hands, now looking like normal hands, still resting on Chromias' damaged chest. It had been repair, but only enough for her to survive, just as I had done with her sisters. My visible optic widened and my half visor dimmed slightly in fear as they both sped up and activated weapons that I didn't have.

"Who are you? What are you doing?" Ratchet yelled as they closer and closer. I jumped up and stumbled backwards.

"I-I-I….uh… EEK!" I squeaked loudly as they pointed their cannons at me. I saw the other autobots and humans coming towards us , me, and my fear almost doubled. Even the soothing and loving feelings from my parents couldn't tear away this fear.

"I-I'm-I'm s-s-sorry-y I c-couldn't do-do more…" I whispered through my fear and my wide optics noticed that I was completely surrounded with weapons pointed at me.

"What do you mean? Who.." I froze once more as I felt a tingling sensation. Was he scanning me? A part of me wanted to yell and scream at him but that part was squelched with fear. But the face he now wore was nothing short of shocked horror.

"she's a sparkling…" this brought about a round of gasps and confused noises. "barely just a youngling." I trilled loudly, frightened by the hand that touch my arm lightly. My head snapped to the side and I had to look up to see into the eyes a large black mech. Ironhide was e very, very intimidating mech and I screeched once more and spun away.

With a final glance to the Arcee triplets, I jumped into the air, transforming as I did so, and flying as fast as I could away from the gathered mechs and humans. I glanced behind me and for an instant my eyes locked with those of one I was very wary of meeting, Optimus Prime.

It was then that my mind subconsciously opened a comm link, when it was opened it was broadcast to all those autobots that stared on awe and horror at the retreating sparkling that was me.

'_Run. Run. Gotta run. Can't be found. Never be found. Never. Never. Ama, Aita, safe. They safe. Run. Run to them.'_

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><p>3rd POV<p>

'_Run. Run. Gotta run. Can't be found. Never be found. Never. Never. Ama, Aita, safe. They safe. Run. Run to them.'_

None of them knew if the femme youngling new if she meant to send that message but it made them realise one thing.

Something had happened to this youngling, something so bad that it made her fear all. Made her act as if she was mortal danger.

But where were her creators? Judging from Ratchets scans she had just gotten her third frame and younglings stay with their creators for a long time. The bond with parental units was one of the strongest out there. Why was she by herself?


	13. what a day!

**phew! two chappies in one day! this is for not updating this sooner but i have this massive projet that i have to work on as well. i'll try to update soon.**

**oh! heads up! i am writing another story along with this one. so if you like the whole family stuff you will most definatelty like this story. it's about a girl who has not only crossed dimensions but finds two sparklings and takes them in to care for them, now she has to hide them from her family and figgure out a way to raise them. **

**i know! again with the dimensions? but i just think there arn't enough of them out there that arn't about some really tough character who takes shit from no one and saves the day. i try and make my characters more realistic, just like i was taught.**

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><p>I flew far and I flew fast. I slowed for no reason and only focused on the horizon where I could feel Jazz and Prowl. The fear that had overtaken me when I was spotted still gripped at my spark and urged me onwards. I ignored the warnings about overheating and energon levels that flashed across my vision. I just wanted to be with my Ama and Aita. Wanted to feel the warmth of their sparks. Hear their calming trills and croons and whirs.<p>

I caught sight of something glinting in the sunset light and I shot towards the two forms below me. Just as before, I couldn't stop myself in time. Transforming when I was near to Jazz and Prowl, I was unable to stop before I went careening into Jazz's chest plates. I paid the exhaustion and slight pain no heed as I pushed myself as far as I could into the warm, dented, silver metal. My audios were filled with comforting croons and whirs and my spark drowned in love and safety. I sensed more than felt when Prowl wrapped his arms around both me and Jazz and I leant into both sets of chest plates that I was sandwiched between and greedily relished and calmed with the love they sent to me.

"It's alright lil' Ri, your safe. No one will get ya." Jazz whispered softly to me as I closed my optics and my half visor dimmed.

"you are safe with us sweetspark." Prowl added as my body relaxed and the exhaustion and hunger I had been ignoring came back with a vengeance. The two much larger mechs must have sensed it or something as I was suddenly handed an energon cube. I briefly wondered how much we had but quickly forgot that thought and drank the sweet pink liquid that I was quickly growing to love.

Without a word I finished my energon and down with Jazz and Prowl. I lay between them and tried to hold onto consciousness but it was just too much and I quickly left the waking world and slipped into recharge, as they call it.

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><p>The flight back to America was long and boring but we got there and were now driving through a town called Gillette in Wyoming. We were on the outskirts of the town, in a much less populated part. We passed a house every now and then but all and all this part of town was calm and quiet. I was currently in my human alt and inside Prowl as we looked for a suitable place to sleep. There were no forests for us to hide in because we were in Thunder Basin National Grassland and all around there was, you guessed it, grass. Every now and then there was a small group of trees that could maybe hide one cybertronian but definitely not two of Jazz and Prowl's size. We turned into a gas station and restaurant mix parking lot and stopped in parking spots side by side.<p>

I sat inside Prowl for a few minutes, thinking over what to do before deciding that I wanted to go for a fly. I opened the door and simultaneously sent calming feelings towards my Ama and Aita. I walked away without a word and walked towards the sidewalk. Walking for a few minutes, I found a place for me to transform into my RQ-170 Sentinel and took to the sky, twirling and rolling and simply enjoying the wind along my sensitive wings.

It was only when my head suddenly made a loud BLIP that I was ripped from my high. It wasn't really my head that went blip, but instead it was a sensor, and that sensor told me that there was a cybertronian nearby. I made slow circles, trying to lock onto the weak signal. It was not a flyer that I could tell, so it would probably be better if I was on the ground.

With the night as my cover I dove to the ground and swiftly transformed into my human alt and running towards the weak signal. I slowed to a walk as I felt I was getting closer and glanced around. What was a cybertronian doing here? Was it a decepticon or an autobot? Who was it? I turned a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. There, sitting in a driveway of the house five doors away from me with a man and a teenage boy around 16 leaning over the engine, garage lights illuminating their work on a dinged, scratched, dented, fading and all around hunk of junk sunshine yellow Lamborghini miura p400.

That annoying blipping stopped as soon as I saw it but I was frozen in shock. It seemed that every day I would have something going on in my life. Can't I at least get some time off? Obviously not because the disguised cybertronian in front of me was none other than Sunstreaker, the mech I was hopping was alive and was going to search for as my next self assigned mission and reunite him with his twin.

I took a shaky step forward, still not believing my luck, and made my way slowly towards the two working men. From what I could hear with my sensitive audio receptors the older man was a friend of the family and was teaching the younger boy how to fix the car. His parents were home in the house they were in front of and did not like the idea of their son being outside at night working on the car.

A plan formed in my mind and I absently thought that this was just like the Brennen situation. I looked down at myself and frown at the clean clothes that appeared with my human alt. after a bit of concentration I had changed my clothes to look much more ragged. My jeans tore more and looked as if they had dirt on them, my white and black shirt tore also with the same dirty appearance. I no longer looked like I was wearing shoes and my hair became messy in its braid. My visor sun glasses stayed the same though.

I walked slowly towards the working pair and took on a lost look, my alt form adjusting to look as if I was starving.

"ex-excuse me, but do-do you, maybe, have something I could eat?" I murmured softly but I knew they had heard me as they both snapped their heads to look at me with wide eyes.

The younger of the two was the first to act. He said nothing as he jumped forward and grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the house. I put a bewildered look on my face as I was suddenly standing in front of two new people, a blond man that looked like the boy and a black haired woman who I'm guessing was his wife.

I stood there and stared at them as the boy started to explain that I must be homeless and that I was starving and he wanted to help me. I was astonished that there were people out there that would help someone without a second thought.

"What's your name dear?" the short woman asked as she stepped in front of me.

"M-Marie ma-ma'am." I replied softly and the woman smiled as I was suddenly being pulled by her.

"Well Marie how's about we's get you some food ey?" the woman said and I was pushed into a chair.

"So why are you out here by yourself?" I turned and looked at the teen that spoke and I smiled softly. I don't have to lie with this question.

"I ran away." I replied simply.

"And why did you go and do a thing like that dear?" the woman said as she came back with a plate of food. "And no sunnies and the table." And with that said my glasses were snatched from my face. I was suddenly overcome with panic and my now glowing blue eyes. I scrabbled for the lost glasses and let out distressed squeak.

"Hey, hey, calm down. You can have them back later." The teen said but my eyes were locked with the woman in front of me, who was looking into my eyes, frozen in shock. The boy got up and walked around to his mum, asking her what was wrong, he glanced at me and he too froze.

"Please, _please_, give me them back! I _need_ them!" I can't believe I brought myself to begging but it got me my glasses back and I swiftly put them on.

"wha-why-_how_ are your eyes _glowing_!" the woman asked rather loudly but I didn't answer. Instead I looked down at the food, sensors telling me it was safe to eat it and my body would put through a bunch of processors that would get rid of it, so I ate quickly. I could taste nothing and that made me very sad but I could feel their eyes, watching.

They eventually stopped watching and gave me a room to sleep in. I spent the time waiting for everyone to go to sleep sending calming thoughts, yes thoughts, and what I was doing through the bond to Jazz and Prowl.

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><p>The house was dark and silent, you could hear a pin drop on the other side of the house but you couldn't hear me as I crept down the stairs and to the front door, opening it silently as I flicked on the lights, not really caring if it was weird to have lights on a 1 am. I walked up to the totalled yellow car.<p>

He was awake and he was watching me. My sensors were very strong, very useful for scouting. I stopped in front of the car and knelt down. Reaching out slowly, as if he was a frightened animal, I placed my hand on the nose of the car. He didn't move, but at the touch I knew instantly what was wrong.

Scanners down, navigation down, transformation cog severely damaged, cracked spark casing, torn wires and dangerously low energon levels. All of this I could tell from a simple touch and I knew that that same touch would not heal him like it did Prowl. I smiled sadly at Sunstreaker.

"You're very strong you know? Having survived all this time with all that damage, having humans dig around your insides, you must hate that huh? Not to mention you don't even know where your brother is." as soon as I mentioned his brother his engine came to life, choked a bit, revved angrily, before becoming silent much too quickly. Then I heard a harsh, pained and raspy voice.

"What do you know _human_." I frowned slightly at the obvious mocking of humans but sighed instead at the vain mech. I transformed easily into my robot mode, adjusting quickly for the change in height. I heard the engine try to start again but I quickly died once more.

"It's alright, I'm not about to attack you or anything, I don't even have any weapons. And don't worry, it must be terrible having your sensors down." I soothed as I gently ran a claw like hand over his hood. I know I shouldn't push my luck by doing this but I felt that if I wanted him to calm down I needed to. To my astonishment it actually worked and I could practically _feel_ him calm down.

"what side are you on?" simple enough question, I guess.

"Neither, but if I was to choose, which I know I will have to soon, it would be the autobots. No chance in hell am I going to side with murdering douche bags." I growled slightly at the thought of deceptions' but I knew that he was still wary.

"If you let me fix you up enough so you can move I'll give you proof." I said and hoped that he would agree, no way would I be able to fix him completely here. I may have gotten my knowledge from the All-spark but I was new at this and he would need rest in his bipedal form.

After a few minutes of hesitation he agreed and I instantly got to work. I ordered him to open his hood as I transformed my hands into medical tools. I was as gentle as possible, drawing on the new knowledge at every turn so I could give Sunstreaker back his ability to move.

It took a whole hour for me to fix Sunstreaker up enough so he could drive. I stood back and transformed down into my human alt.

"Follow me." With that I walked out the driveway of a family that would forever think I stole their son's new car. I jogged my way back to where Jazz and Prowl were, and then I ran past the place and to one of the small grouping of trees a little ways away from the road, with Jazz and Prowl now following behind Sunstreaker.

With the trees no surrounding us I turned back to Sunstreaker, Jazz and Prowl both coming to stop beside me. They both transformed as I did and I once more crouched in front of Sunstreaker, ignoring Prowl and Jazz for the moment.

"I said I would prove to you that I wasn't going to hurt you or your brother, and as you can see, I highly doubt Jazz and Prowl would let me get within 50 feet of him if I had the intention of attacking him." I said and I smiled brightly when I head a 'damn strait I would' come from Jazz.

"Now will you let me fix you up Sunstreaker? Because when I'm done I can happily send you to your brother and the other autobots without feeling as if you would go and get yourself more hurt." The only response I got was the hood pooping open so I could get access to his transformation cog, the next thing I was going to fix.

"so ya found 'im 'ey lil' Ri?" Jazz asked as he came to stand beside Sunstreaker's alt form.

"of course I did. You didn't expect me to leave him there do you? You and I both know the bond he has with his _twin_ brother, that's why they call it a twin bond." I knew Sunstreaker was listening but I couldn't really bring myself to care and so I zoned out of the conversations that Prowl, Jazz and Sunstreaker were now having as I focused on my work.

It will take some time, longer than an experienced medic, but I wasn't an experienced. I was simply going off the knowledge I was given by the All-spark and I would use that knowledge as much and as well as I could. After all I hate it when others are in pain, so I guess it's a good thing I want to be a medic.

Hopefully in a few days I will be finished with repairs and I can leave Sunstreaker to rest for a while before I give him the directions. I just hope that everything goes smoothly.

With my luck, it probably wont.


	14. just my luck

**here is teh next chappie! do you know how hard it was to write thhis when every five minutes your older brother is coming into your room prettending that he is a cat and leaving his rubbish everywhere? yeah, didnt think so. i hope you all apreciate what i do for you**

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><p>Well, as I predicted it did take a while, two and a half days. Most of that time, if not all of it, Sunstreaker was in his bipedal form. The only problem was his sensors and navigational systems. I managed to give him a small range of his sensors back but they aren't 100% and I could do next to nothing for navigation. I know I have the knowledge to fix them but something is stoping me. It's like something or someone thinks I should just give up on the running and I know for certain that that thing is the All-spark. The little big bastard.<p>

I was currently laying in my robot mode relaxing and soaking up some sun. Sunstreaker is to my right in a forced recharge in his bipedal mode because he had wanted to go drive as fast as he could and ruin all my repairs. Prowl and Jazz had gone for a drive around Gillette.

I vented air happily as I spread my limbs out on the grass, enjoying the slight breeze and warming rays. I frowned about what I was going to do with Sunstreaker. I wanted to get him back with his brother but I also didn't want to be found out. I had already gotten him to agree not to tell anyone about me as recompense for fixing him but if I can't get his navigations up I'll either have to give him directions and hope for the best, which I think is a terrible idea, he could get lost, or I could take him there myself.

I wonder what you would do brother? Would you let him find his own way or would you make absolute certain that he got there? Hah! Why did you teach me to be so kind brother?

I sighed as I came to my decision and closed my optics, half visor dimming, and focused solely on the feeling of the winds rushing along. But this, of course with my luck, was probably my most hated mistake.

"AAAAHHH!" I yelled as I was suddenly thrown to the side and slammed hard into a tree that cracked from the force. I hit the ground hard and groaned from the pain coming from my sore wings. I looked up and screeched in fright as I came face to face with the barrel of a very large cannon on the arm of a chuckling, red opticed mech.

He said nothing as he fired and I just managed to jump to the side and avoid the blast. I scrabbled to my feet and, for the first time, skated on my wheeled feet towards Sunstreakers prone form. I need to wake him up. I have no weapons and if I remember correctly he was, is, a front liner.

I let out a high pitched screech as I felt an indescribable pain in my left arm. It was like it was being burned to a cinder and sliced apart all in one. I glance down at it for just a second, still skating and swerving, trying to get to the yellow mech. A distressed warble escaped me. My arm was only the protoform, all the armour had been blown off, wires were leaking energon all over the place, and here and there my arm was glowing a scolding red.

I skidded to a stop and climbed my way up Sunstreaker. Waking him up felt like a relief and I almost laughed for joy when I saw his optics glow at my, that is, until I was ripped away from the front liner by my long black dread. I swung for a bit and screeched the loudest I ever had when I felt something grab my left wing and pull harshly.

I was flung away suddenly and when I landed on the ground heavily I instantly curled into a ball as tight as I could. Hurt. Hurt. Oh god it hurts so much! I screeched again as a wave of pain washed over my entire body from my arm and wing. I risked a peak at my left wing but instantly regretted it.

_Gone_.

My wing! I warbled in distress and sadness and pain. He tore of my wing! Why? Why? I looked up at the sky from my spot in a ball and let out a tortured mechanical screech.

I paid no attention to the fight. Didn't notice when Sunstreaker was suddenly standing over me, stopping the decepticon from attacking me more. Didn't acknowledged when the fight ended and found no strength to comfort my worry stricken parents as they tried to get me to open the bond more.

I screeched again when I felt myself being picked up. Stop! Stop it, please, it hurts! I wanted to yell and curse my vocal processer into oblivion but I just couldn't do it. I found myself being held bridal by a much larger mech. I onlined my optics and glanced up at the yellow mech looking down at me and let out a tortured croon, trying to tell him just how much it _hurt_. I had only been missing my wing for a few minutes but I could still feel how _wrong_ it felt not being able to feel it there. Part of me is missing and I fucking hated it. I can't fly. I _can't fly_!

I sunk into the hold of Sunstreaker and my optics went blank and I stared forward, trying to block the pain and dull the feeling of immense loss. I made no move, didn't even glance over, as Jazz and Prowl zoomed into out small grouping of trees and surrounded Sunstreaker and myself, stepping around the falling decepticon.

I ignored their words. I couldn't talk much even if I wanted to. I knew they were worried but I kept my bond miraculously closed, blocking them from my pain. They didn't deserve to feel this. I finally glanced over to them from my position in the yellow mechs arms.

"Gone. It's gone. All gone. Hurts. Hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much?" my question was true, why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel like I'm falling apart?

"It's alright lil' Ri. We'll get ya somewhere ya can get betta." I numbly followed there instructions and transformed oh so painfully into my human mode and got inside Prowl. I lay on my side in the back seat and curled up as much as I could.

Prowl took the front with his sirens blaring and Jazz and Sunstreaker flanking him. Prowl putt all his window down so the wind would wash over me and it comforted me just a bit but in some way it also made it worse, made me long for the sky just that much more.

The ride was long. So, so very long. The pain never left me and that feeling of longing and missing-ness only intensified. It had been hours. Hours that dragged on and on. We drove through the night and into the early morning but I paid the shining stars and burning sunrise no heed, knowing that it would only make my terrible loss intensify. How long did I have to feel like this before I finally lose it and start doing irrational things? God I hope that never happens. Jazz and Prowl will be crushed. The thought made me whimper and the whimper made the pain renew once more and I curled tighter on myself.

Somewhere I could hear prowls voice saying something but it sounded so far away. Energon warnings flashed at the side of my vision and I dully noticed that many of my systems were damaged.

There was a commotion outside. I could hear yelling and confused voices. I could hear Prowl talking softly and reservedly and I wondered why he was talking like that. You never talk like that near me and Jazz, what talk like it now? Soon I was being pulled from Prowl by soft hands. Human.

I looked at the dark skinned man that had pulled me out. Epps. William Lennox was behind him and behind the humans I could see the autobots. All of them were here except Bumblebee. I caught sight of Sunstreaker and Swideswipe and a smiled and too small smile.

I screeched loudly as I felt someone touch my back and I tried to stumble away. I was soon being held by Jazz as I slowly, painfully transformed back into my cybertronian form. Luck must hate me because I one again caught sight of the empty air where my wing should be and a mournful sound came from me once more. I couldn't help it. I felt so lost.

"Aita? Aita? Hurts. Make it stop. Make it stop!" I couldn't bring myself to form full sentences, but what I could say seems to convey what I thought pretty well.

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><p>3rd POV<p>

Everyone looked at small silver mech that they had seen die. He cradled the small white youngling to his chassis with such care. Prowl was soon standing next to them and looking worriedly down and the youngling.

Ratchet couldn't hear what was said at first, no one could, but he did catch the end and it made him worry.

"…make it stop!"

"Hey, is she alright?" captain Lennox asked as he looked at the three robots. Jazz was the one to answer in a voice so full of distress and desperation.

"Please Ratchet! Ya gotta help 'er! She's hurt!" the supposedly dead mech was begging by the end and it shocked all those who knew him. Jazz doesn't beg.

Ratchet had only hesitated for a second, trying to come to terms with the fact that Jazz was alive and begging, but that was enough time for another to chime in with a very dangerous voice.

"Help her now Ratchet." Now all eyes were on Sunstreaker, who had stepped forward and glared heatedly at the neon mech.

Ratchet nodded and strode towards the two lost mechs and snatched the youngling from jazz's arms. In less than a minute he was in his med bay looking over the damage. What he found made his spark burn with hatred.

Someone had attacked this youngling, the same one Egypt, and had torn off her wing. The little seeklet was still awake and only now did the femme notice that he was here.

"you Ratchet. Make pain go away? Make fly again? Heh. Know you will." Her voice was weak but the young seeklets words baffled him. How did she know who he was?

"how do you know all that hmm?" ratchet inquired as he started his work on the youngling by dulling her pain receptors.

"just know. Know lots. More than should."

Her words once again threw the medic for a loop. Just how much did this young femme know?


	15. living a lie isnt that bad

**sorry for the wait guys! had alot on. wel i am sick today, my asthma is really bad and i have a terrable cold. my hands wouldnt stop shaking as i wrote this! i really hope you like it. it explains quite a bit**

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><p>I was in that blackness again, only this time I knew who I was. I looked around and saw that whiteness in the distance but there was something closer. It had no colour and just seemed like seemed like a 'part' of the blackness. I walked towards it, curious as to what it was. As I got closer the deeper darkness I felt something brush along my armour and wings.<p>

Wind.

It was wonderful, amazing, so good it was almost too hard to describe! I remember I couldn't fly, my wing had been torn off and it had _hurt_ so much to feel that oh so sensitive part of me suddenly _gone_.

_Come child…._

That voice….. it was so soft, like the wind. I walked closer to that darker place that felt like the sky. It was _soooo gooood_. Maybe if I go there it will make me better? Maybe it will let me fly again. I took one step into that deeper space and shivered from the sudden rush of _cold_, and yet, it felt so warm and soothing, like the wind.

_Yes! Come closer child! They took our flight from us! Come! We must get it back!_

I took another step into the deeper darkness. Soon that soothing warmth that felt so cold it became sharp. The comfort I felt became anger. They took our flight! It was there fault! Images of Jazz and Prowl and Sunstreaker flashed around me, images of me ripping them apart soon joined them and a wild glint shone from my visible optic.

_Yesss! We will kill them child! They did this to us! They were jealous of us, jealous that we could feel the sky and they couldn't! they told the decepticon where we were!_

Anger boiled in me and I could only feel the sharp whip and cold tightness of the deeper darkness around me. Their fault! Their fault! Their fault!

THEIR FAULT!

_NOOOO!_

I suddenly felt that sharp coldness rip away from me and I was confused for a second before a felt something else wrap around me. I could see gold swirling around me in a fine mist that seemed to seep through me completely and block all else from view.

A wave of calm washed over me and I tried to fight it, to hold onto my anger but it was simply brushed away and left me and the tender embrace of this golden place.

_**Hush now my daughter. You must be calm. Do not let yourself be swayed by that part of yourself.**_

The voice was strong but gentle, grand but barley a whisper in my audio receptors. Was that anger really a part of me? Was that voice really my own?

_**Yes my little one, but now is not the time for you to dwell upon such thoughts, now is for you to understand what you truly are.**_

What I am? But I know what I am. I am a human turned cybertronian stuck in the wrong dimension.

_**That may be true in some aspect but it is also wrong. You may not have known it but you were never truly human and the body you now inhabit was designed specially for you so that you may survive as long as you would have before.**_

What the hell does that mean? Not truly human? And what are you talking about _before_? And who the hell _are_ you?

The gold mist suddenly swirled faster and then burst away from me. I looked at the scenery around me. It was a golden city, made of metal that shone so brilliant, but there was nothing there. No matter how the city shined it looked dead, empty of all life, just a shell. The sudden sight of the city made sadness engulf me and ghostly figures of fighting machines flashed around the gold city.

Iacon.

_**You are correct my little one, this is Iacon during the golden age of Cybertron. I was at peace watching the beings I had created living in harmony.**_

I turned towards the voice and was force to crane my neck to see the giant mechs face as he looked down at me kindly. People had said he was huge, but DAMN he was _HUGE_. The large mech chuckled as he swooped down and picked me up, placing my 9 foot form into the palm of his massive hand.

Primus. I was talking to primus. Holy crap.

_**That is right my daughter, for one who was not raised on Cybertron and not even as a cybertronian, I am glad that you recognise me. Then again, it is not much of a surprise, given where you were raised.**_

I looked up at primus. So, he knows everything about me, can read my mind and is the biggest being I have ever seen. And I'm talking to him.

"you…you said that you wanted to tell me something…..something about me not being human."

It was the first time I had spoken in this place, ever. Even in the darkness I had not spoken.

_**Yes, my daughter. You may not like it, as most, if not all you memories were lost in the transference, but you once live here. You dwelled happily on the planet before you, content to stay with me as we watched those that you helped create.**_

What the hell is he talking about? That I helped create?

"what are you talking about."

_**Hush my little one and I will start at the beginning. The All-spark was the first thing I created on Cybertron, to be a mediator between me and my creations. I personally made the first Primes to watch over it. Time went on and the Cybertronian race flourished and grew, but that was not all that grew. Over time the All-spark grew as well, not physically but mentally. My first creation slowly developed a consciousness of its own. I had not anticipated this but I was proud that my first child had grown independently of myself. The All-spark watched the cybertronians with me and took on many of their mannerisms, one of those was a gender, and the All-spark soon became my first daughter.**_

_**It was many, many thousands of years before the war broke out and I worried for my daughter, as vulnerable as she was in her physical cube form. So, in order to keep her safe, I separated her consciousness from her body and sent her away, across worlds to a place where the war is just a story made for children. My daughter, unfortunately, lost most of her memory banks.**_

_**I watched over my daughter as she grew in her new home with the name Marie Christiana Larcroft.**_

I looked up at the giant god with wide eyes. I-I was the All-spark? I was his child? His creation?

"I don't understand. Am I supposed to do something?" I whimpered slightly as I looked at the mech and he lifted his hand to his chest and I was comforted by the golden glow of his spark.

_**I wish you could just live my little one, I do not want to see you apart of this war, but that cannot be helped, it seems. And you do not need to understand, merely know. Now, it is time for you to wake up, your family is very worried about you, you have been in stasis for many cycles of your sun.**_

Before I could say anything I was being pulled away from the warm, familiar presence of the cybertronian god and I tried to reach for it and hold on, but it was too much and I was soon in the blackness once more.

I looked around, it looked slightly different now, the white was still there, closer now and the deeper darkness was far away but that was not really what was different. All around me were small orbs of light, swirling around me excitedly, as if happy that I was there. My eyes locked on one and I stared at it.

It pulsed, like a heart.

Like a spark.

I gasped as I looked at all the other sparks surrounding me. Sparks! They are sparks! I shakily reached out to one and brushed my claw fingers gently along the glowing orb. It settled into the palm of my hand and I pulled it close to my chest, suddenly protective of the little thing. Other orbs surrounded me and I could feel their happiness at having my here.

I looked to the whiteness as I heard the soft humming coming from it. I need to wake up. As if reading my thoughts, the little orbs darted around agitated but did nothing as I made my way towards the whiteness. With one final goodbye, I stepped into the whiteness alone and curled up, selfishly taking in all the love I could feel from Jazz and Prowl.

With a jolt, something was different, I opened my optics and couldn't help the smile that consumed my face as I stared in the optics of Jazz as he hunched over my prone form on the medical berth of the autobot base.

Without any hesitation and ignoring my healing injuries that stung ever so slightly, I leapt at Jazz and nuzzled into his chest. I couldn't bring myself to say anything as I remembered what I thought of in the deeper darkness. Energon tears spilled from my optics and I nuzzled just that much more into Jazz. I could barely hear his words of worry as I cried.

"I love you Aita, never leave. Never leave."


	16. half explanations

**so so sooooooo sorry for teh late update and if the chappie is bad but i got real stuck. i just didnt know what to do, lil Ri wouldnt stop bugging me until i got this up and i am glad for the silence i now have. **

**and that you sooooo much to BluePhoenixPrime for all teh encouragement.**

**OH! and one more thing! if you want to know what lil Ri looks like in her robot mode go to deviantart and look up 'frapacino' my account. it is soo much easier than looking for her by herself, its just a rush job so it may not look so good but i hope it gives you an idea of what she looks like.**

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><p>I peeked around the room from my spot in Jazz's arms and half on the berth. All the autobots that I knew from the second movie, including Sunstreaker, Prowl and Jazz, were all there. Most of them were looking between me and Jazz and a few were glancing at Prowl, who was standing behind Jazz, looking over his shoulder down at me.<p>

"Jazz?" I froze at the deep, powerful voice and looked nervously at the imposing form of Optimus Prime. I shrunk away from him and my nervousness leaked across the bond to my parents and sent reassurance back towards me.

"Optimus, this is Careen, me an' Prowlers sparklin'." Jazz said. If you're wondering, Careen is the name Sunstreaker gave me once he found out I didn't have a cybertronian name, and after he saw me try to land after I went flying, of course.

"Your sparkling? But how is that possible? You died! We saw your body! Prowl was captured VORNS ago and the All-spark was destroyed!" it was Ratchet who spoke this time and I was ever so slightly scared of the confused anger that seeped into the medics voice.

"They found me." I said softly. As soon as I spoke everyone who had been about to speak fell silent, waiting for me to go in. I looked up at them shyly, I can't reveal too much, but I don't want to lie either.

"Or rather, I found them. I found Jazz in a mountain, his body was dead but-but i….i could feel his spark. It was there, waiting for something, its other part." I looked at the mechs and femmes around me, slightly scared of their stare. They said nothing and I took that as a signal to keep talking.

"i-I reunited his spark with his body. I'm not too sure how but I did and Jazz came back. I found Prowl later, he was hurt and I help to fix him." I looked down and shifted uncomfortably under their gaze.

"And how is it that you reunited his spark with his body." I 'eep'ed and my head snapped towards Ironhide. I looked at the large black mech with wide optics and shrunk down just a bit.

I slowly complied with his question, reaching my hand out in front of me and willing the All-spark shards to appear like they used to. To my surprise they no longer were confined to the woven bracelet and now float freely, hovering in a lazy circle inches above my palm. I held the floating shards towards the black mech but when he hesitantly reached for them I was overrun by an irrational fear and pulled them towards my chest, where they pulsed slightly. When they pulsed I was reminded that these shards weren't just shards but a part of me, a part of my previous body.

Have to keep them safe. With me they are safe. Must keep safe and away. Away from all. All.

I didn't even know I was mumbling those thoughts aloud until I heard Optimus speak.

"it is alright young one, the All-spark shards are safe here. There is no need to fear." I looked up at the kind face of the Prime but I was still wary. These shards are a part of me. It wouldn't be right to give them to someone else.

"the boss bot is right Lil' Ri, the shards are safe here and so are ya." I looked up at Jazz and smiled slightly. I shook my head.

"you don't understand. How can you? The shards will never truly be safe unless they are no longer on this plane of existence. I won't _ever_ give them to another. They can't even be used by anyone else!" I tried to make them see what I meant but as soon as I realized what I had said I clamped a hand over my mouth and froze as I stared up at them.

"What do you mean it can't be used by anyone else? What do you know youngling?" I stared up at Ironhide, frightened. Who wouldn't be? I did used to be a human.

"I-I-I mean um it won't l-let any-anyone else u-u-use it." I whimpered slightly and curled up, part of me wishing to be back in the blackness that was always so soft, so quiet. Or the golden city, the familiarity that the city emitted made me want to swarm to it and curl up right in the centre.

I was suddenly filled with a never ending calm that seemed to wrap around me like a blanket. All around me I could see an ethereal golden mist that swirled around me and it made me forget about my situation and I uncurled so I could watched the mist that only I could see in wonder. I looked down at the pulsing All-spark shards and silently thanked Primus for doing this for me.

Steeling my spark I once more held my shards towards the autobots, this time Optimus, I looked into his optics.

"try." I moved my hand just a little bit, motioning him to take the shards, and he did just that.

I almost whimpered when the shards left my hand and I could feel them pulse in distress. Optimus held them in his hand and they dropped from there hovering and fell to his large palm. With a glance towards me he turned to Bumblebee and motioned him forward.

I could feel it when the leader of the autobots tried to use the shards to heal the mute scout but the familiar tug that came with the energy felt wrong, like someone was pulling on it too hard, trying to force it out. No energy came from the shards and the scout spoke no more than he did previously.

I ignored the stares this time as I held my hand out for the shards once more and waited patiently as Optimus slowly returned them to me. They instantly began to hover in a circle around my wrist. I moved away from Jazz on the berth and stood atop it, moving towards the edge where the yellow scout was.

"Could I?" confidence radiated through me and I knew without a doubt that this would work. How I knew this I don't know but it must have something to do with the fact that I know that I _am_ the All-spark.

The scout looked around and I couldn't help all the images that flashed through my head of the different designs of Bumblebee that I had seen throughout my world. The mere thought of my world made me sad but I stubbornly blocked that out. I had a point to make and memories of the past have nothing to do with the now.

Bumblebee crouched down beside the birth and I reached out with both my hands to lightly touch his neck cables. I felt the pulse of the shards grow stronger as the energy well up inside me and burn inside me. Blue energy arched from my body and flowed towards the mechs throat. I willed the energy to work and had it rebuild his vocal processor.

And that was that. The shards retracted back into my subspace and my eyes widened slightly in shock. Had I really done all that? Been that confident? I spun on my heel and skated as fast as I could back to Jazz and crashed full speed into his chest.

"well, I'm inclined to believe. If a sparkling can call forth the power of the All-spark and Prime could not then there isn't much of a competition, as the humans say." I peeked up at Ratchet who was looking down at me just as curiously. I smiled at him and nodded slightly in thanks but turned away.

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><p>The med bay was empty except for me, Jazz and Prowl, who were both in recharge. I looked at them and smiled. I believe them when they say that I will come to no harm here but I need to be careful not to give away too much information.<p>

I saw that ethereal mist again and as it passed over me a wave of exhaustion consumed me. I smiled slightly as my mind supplied me with an image of the great mech Primus worrying over me to get me to sleep, but I suppose it's a good idea, after all I have to meet the rest of nest tomorrow.


	17. confusion by the bucket load

**so so soooooo sorry for the late update but i have been super busy. hope u all enjoy!**

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><p>Holy crap! This place is HUGE! I guess you can't really take in how large it is until your actually there. I was going to meet the rest of NEST today and when Jazz Prowl and I where led into the main hanger I was clinging onto prowls leg as if my life depended on it.<p>

I had met the other autobots yesterday and they were all pretty nice. I had, after a lot of hesitation, asked if I could watch Ratchet work. He was fixing Skids and Mudflap because they had pissed off Ironhide. To my extreme delight he had said yes and I had watched him work with skill that I hope I one day possess. Just the thought of being able to help people like that made my heart soar and my mind whir.

Bumblebee wasn't in the hanger now, he had to go back to his job as guardian, but all the others were here as well as a bunch of humans, some I knew from the movies and others I didn't. I hid as much as I could behind Prowl's legs as I felt a very childish shyness overtake me.

We were now stopped in front of a bunch of humans. The other cybertronians were standing around the humans and next to Jazz, Prowl and I.

"Men, may introduce to you comrades of ours whom we thought we had lost and their…..daughter. This is Jazz and Prowl. Their little one is Careen." I peeked slightly out from behind Prowl at the humans.

They were only a few feet shorter than me. I studied many of them as they introduced themselves. I didn't pay much attention but I already knew the names of some of them so I guess it doesn't really matter. I also didn't pay attention when it was explained how Jazz was alive, even though it mentioned me.

I broke out of my examinations by Prowl and Jazz moving away from me to talk with some of the bots. I was going to follow them but thought differently. Maybe I could look around Diego Garcia? I could go for a fly; after all, I have my wing back.

"Hey, your Careen right?" I looked down at William Lennox, who had spoken. Robert Epps stood next to him looking at me curiously.

"Um, yes?" I crouched so I could look up at them. It felt weird to look down at them. My actions seemed to amuse them slightly.

"Thought we'd come introduce ourselves properly. Im Will Lennox, call me Will. This is my friend Epps. Never seen a cybertronian kid before. Can't be too fun hanging out with a bunch of adults all the time." Will laughed when Epps hit him on the shoulder and I giggled slightly at their antics.

"Well it would be nice if I had some kids my own age to talk with but if I'm with my Ama and Aita then I'm happy. It doesn't matter too much though, I don't mind." My wings twitched slightly and I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Could you take me outside. Sorry, but I don't really know where anything is, I don't even remember getting here." I nervously fiddled with my dread as they both laughed and nodded, leading me towards a large hanger door.

Outside it was sunny and warm, cars parked all over alongside planes and helicopters. A soft wind called me to the sky and I noticed my parents' happiness for me in the back of my mind. I stood with my arms spread wide, ignoring Will and Epps and all the other humans that looked at me with confused faces as I enjoyed the wind. In the corner of my optics I noticed Jazz and Prowl along with Optimus and Ratchet step outside and start over to where we were. I turned my head to looked at them and smiled widely and before they could get to me I leapt into the air and started my thrusters and zipped into the air.

I god it feels soooo good to be back in the sky where I belong. I looped and rolled, weaved and zoomed through the sky. Laughing wildly I turned and made a beeline straight for Jazz, a plan forming in my mind.

My laugh turned mad as I came closer and closer and my happiness and mischief seeped through the bond and I saw my parents optics widen as they finally caught on. Before they could react I ploughed into them and dragged them to the ground, laughing all the way.

As they started to yell at me for doing such a thing I jumped of them and skated a ways away before turning into my human form and running towards Will and Epps, dragging them behind me and into the base to hide. All the while a smile graced my face. It felt good to act like a kid.

"wow! You have a human for an alt? your other form looked too big for that!" Epps said and I laughed at their shocked faces as I spun around them in a very childish manner. Without much thought I spun to face them and suddenly sat down on the floor to smile up at them.

"I can compact into myself to make myself look like a human. And since I won't get any bigger I can keep the form." I giggled slightly but part of me was confused. Wasn't I scared of coming here not so long ago? And why do I feel like I want to just run around and play games? Is it the sparkling part of me? More than likely. I inwardly cursed primus for making me think this way but also thanked him for bringing me my new family.

"Well ain't that nifty." I smiled at Epps and laughed again.

I sighed suddenly and stood up. Epps reminds me of my brother. The two men in front of me looked at me with concern but I waved them off with a muttered excuse as I turned to walk aimlessly around the base.

I am so moody. I laughed bitterly as I though this. *sigh* you would love this Chase, I know you would. I wish you were here, with me. I whimpered slightly and ignored the looks it got me from the confused humans I walked by. I kept walking, ignoring everything. I knew that some of the other autobots were concerned about me but I could feel Jazz and Prowl keeping them away and I sent them my gratitude.

There weren't that many humans around now. I transformed back into my robot form and skated slowly as I remembered all the times I had with my brother.

"what's up Careen?" I looked up with my sorrowful optics that seemed to startle the sunshine yellow mech.

"I miss home Sunstreaker." I whispered as a pained whine left me. It was strange to have the usually vain mech worry about me. I just wanted to be left alone. Sunstreaker obviously couldn't take a hint.

I yelp suddenly as I was picked up by the much larger bot. he held me near his chest plates as he rolled down the large hall and outside. No one was there, which I was thankful for, and I sunk dow in the mechs grasp.

"you miss your brother." It wasn't a question and it only made me sadder. I whimpered in answer and curled into myself, begging for these feelings to just _die_.

"I miss him Sunstreaker, I miss him so much." I looked up at the mechs optics, an emotion I couldn't describe resting there. "I'll never see him again! He may have someone that looks like him in this world…..but….. it isn't-isn't my brother! He's not my Chase!" I sobbed again.

And to think, all this was brought on because Epps reminded me of him. He jolted slightly as I pressed against his chest plates, instinctively curling towards the warmth I felt. It reminded me of the blackness and the sparks that I see there, only Sunstreakers spark felt older, more mature. I heard the yellow mech sigh and shifted slightly. I whimpered at the movement.

"you never know femme, you might see him again, one day. I thought I would never see my brother again. My damage was too great and I could feel my spark fading with every cycle. Then you came and demanded that you fix me and send me back to Swideswipe. You didn't know me and nor I you. You never know." I looked back up at the yellow mech with surprise. I thought that he was only nice to his brother, even then, he was mean.

The yellow mech scoffed suddenly and looked away at me and to the sinking sun, yet to touch the horizon.

"don't even know why I'm doing this femme. Not really a comforting mech, I'm a warrior. I meet you, you annoying little sparkling, and you just have this aura around you." Sunstreaker shook his head and his fingers curled slightly more around me, but I don't think he even knew he was doing it.

"don't expect me to do this often." And with that said we just sat, or stood, in silence. I stayed were I was, curled close to yellow metal as my mind tried to wrap around what had just happened.

It would take a while, but I would eventually figure it out.

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><p>Will POV<p>

The base was a mess, the autobots where hurrying around trying to find the sparkling that had gone missing. Even her parents couldn't find her.

Careen had gone missing after a sudden mood swing when she had been talking to me and Epps. I don't know what was wrong but I could see the pain in her blue optics, or eyes, or whatever. When I had seen that and image of my own little girl with the same expression flashed through my eyes and made my chest tighten.

I hurried down one of the less used halls that led to the back of the base when a hanger door caught my eye. It was cracked open and afternoon sun filtered through. Peeking through I had to hold my breathe at what I was seeing. From what I had seen of that particular mech he was vain and cruel to all but his brother. So what the hell was going on.

I called the other on my radio and it only took a few minutes for all the autobots to get here with Epps in tow. Swideswipe rolled forward and looked at the crowd of mechs and femmes.

"has anyone seen Sunstreaker?" mumbled agreements rippled through the crowd and a series of shrugs and 'I don't know's followed soon after. I was quick to gain there attention and shush them, which gained me curious looks.

I motioned to the hanger door and Ironhide was the one to reach forward and silently open it. Silence followed as all looked at the scene in front of them.

The new mech, Sunstreaker, known to be vain and cruel by the other autobots, was holding the femme sparkling to his chest and saying soft things to the obviously distressed child. I looked to the side as Swideswipe made a move forwards but was quickly held back by both Jazz and Prowl, who moved to the front of the group, making it clear that no one, not even Optimus, would get past them.

All of this made Will wonder; was there more to this sparkling?


	18. love of life

**ok i am so sorry for the late update but i had a lot of work i had to do! oh! and really IMPORTANT: i have changed something in chp 12. Marie is NOT on her final frame she is on her third frame. thankies!**

**one more thing! big thanks to Fox of Magic for everything! her awsomeness remminded me that i have people waiting for the next chappies! so all of you better thank her and read the story that she will be posting soon!**

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><p>I don't know when I had slipped into recharge but it felt nice to be back in the blackness. I sat in the middle of a large group if innocent feeling sparks as they danced around me. The one from the last time I was here stayed close to my side and sometimes I would reach out and brush my hands along the glowing orbs.<p>

I smiled at the golden mist that would occasionally swirl around me. I stood, following the pull of the mist. Running gracefully through the blackness, laughing along with the twittering sounds coming from the unborn sparks that floated by me. I lost myself in the wonders of it.

I could feel their happiness at my being here and it made me smile to hear the airy twitters and chirps that flittered around my. I hardly noticed that I no longer wore my armour but was stripped to my protoform, I just spun and dance around the floating orbs as the golden mist surrounded me.

My dancing continued into the golden city of Iacon and I ran with the sparks towards the massive mech that stood before us, awaiting us.

I was soon on the giant mechs hand and I could feel the excitement of the sparks around me.

_**My daughter, it seems you have come again.**_

I was confused for a second, forgetting that I had a life outside this ghostly Iacon and in the realm of the living. I looked about and smiled once more, laughing along with the happiness of the innocent souls around me.

_**They have missed you.**_

Huh? The sparks? How could they-. My thought stopped suddenly as I pieced it together.

"so, why do they like me so much?" I asked and looked back up at the towering mech.

_**You are the mother and sister of all cybertronians. Without you, they can never live. When I sent you away only a set amount of sparks could be blessed to their frames. The others were forced to wait for the return of their Carer.**_

I looked back at the sparks and smiled at their brightness, the innocence and purity they radiated. I continued to watch them dance around me until I noticed something in the distance. It was a spark, but it was larger, dimmer, and I could feel the heaviness of guilt that weighed on it.

_**That is one of my children who has returned to the Matrix. I cannot approach him, not until he has forgiven himself for all he has done.**_

"can't he move onto the Matrix? Why stay here?" I didn't take my eyes off the weary spark. I couldn't help the urge to comfort the soul and before I knew it I was lowered to the ground.

_**You never could leave a spark to their darker emotions. It always pained you to see another in pain themself. **_

With one last glance at the great God I moved towards the old spark. The younger, unborn sparks followed me wearily, but stayed close to me none the less.

The closer I got toe the spark I had seen the darker the surroundings got. Soon, the city was no longer gold but instead a haunting grey.

A form started to appear around the spark. A frame. It was black and definitely old, the mech had what appeared to be a walking stick of some kind, and a metal 'beard'. I also noticed that he was a seeker.

Jetfire.

I stopped when the mech looked towards me, as if he could hear me. Did I say that out loud? The innocent sparks fled back to the golden part of the city, away from the apparitions of death and suffering and war that surrounded this new area.

My armour was back as I walked closer to the larger seeker and he followed me with his optics.

"Your name is Jetfire." I said, coming to a stop in front of him.

"yes, and how did a youngling like you know that?" his voice was tired and it only made me sadder. I was getting sad a lot lately. Stupid mood swings.

"I know a lot of things. Why are you here?" I asked, motioning to the metal hell around me.

"I have done many terrible things during my activation. Things that could never be forgiven." As he said this, more ghostly things appeared around us and I took note that it was all the things that Jetfire had done.

"why are you here youngling?" his question seemed innocent but I didn't really have my mind to myself at the moment, it felt like something that I had forgotten long ago was coming back to me.

"I saw your spark, felt your pain. I didn't like it. I want you to come over to the Other Side."

The old seeker shook his head.

"not even Primus could forgive me for what I have done." I walked forward and reached up, grabbing the larger bots hand and started to pull him.

"I may not have much time here but I want to help you. All you have to do is let go, it wasn't your fault."

The older bot was quiet as I pulled him into the golden city. I have to prove him wrong. He wants to seek approval? Well I am damn well gonna get it for him.

"Primus!" I almost laughed at the black mechs words as he knelt before his God, but his guilt was there, much closer to the surface.

_**Rise, my child, there is no need for such things, you are home now.**_

I smiled up at Primus before turning to Jetfire and smiling at him too.

"I don't deserve a kindness from you, not with what I have done." I crooned sadly and put my hand on the older seekers arm.

_**Do not be sad my daughter. There is no need for him to be forgiven. he was always welcome in the Matrix once he returned to me. I could see your deepest thoughts, feel your most hidden emotions and I knew that you are as innocent as the unborn around you.**_

I smiled as I saw Jetfire look up at the great mech, creator of his race. It was then that I knew that he was finally ready. So, with a nod to Primus and a wave to a slightly confused but relieved Jetfire, I returned to the blackness with the sparks and we laughed for a little longer before I could feel the pull of awareness tug me gently back to the realm of the living and away from that of the dead.

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><p>That entire day I was happy and it showed as I run and flew and danced around all the beings on the base, laughing all the way as I chased the unborn sparks that only I could see. It was only when I ran into the legs of Optimus prime himself that I forgot about the happy souls around me.<p>

"oh, uh-uh, s-sorry Optimus." I muttered meekly and looked down at my long black dread that I fiddled with in my hands.

His chuckle was deep and rumbling and it made me jump and look up at him.

"it is quite alright little one, no harm was done. It has been a long time since we have seen a sparkling as young as you, just into your final frame. It is good on all the bots here to hear a sparkling laugh again." His optics were sad and it made me frown. I don't like seeing him, or anyone sad. Another All-spark thing I guess.

I put my hand on his lower shin, the only part of him I could really reach, and crooned comfortingly.

"don't be sad. It'll all be better soon, trust me." I smiled at his confused look and laughed as I saw some of the glowing sparks that only I could see circle his head in a cartoonish fashion.

I stepped back, keeping my smile as I waved at the autobot commander and skated away from him and towards the sound of guns and cannons.

The guns and weapons of the Transformers had always made me squeal like a fangirl. And I had never _really _got to look at any. I had none of my own, I wasn't even on my final frame, and I never was able to ask Jazz and Prowl, so my next target was the weapons specialist himself.

I stood off to the side and watched the soldiers as they ran a drill, Ironhide watching then closely for any mistakes. The humans ran through a simulated course, shooting cybertronian shaped targets and running through obstacles with a skill I didn't know humans could possess, but then again, this was Wills team.

Every now and then Ironhide would shoot some of the large targets at the end of a range, always hitting the mark, whilst making comments on the humans progress. I slowly walked forward, optics wide as I watched the much larger mech shoot.

My _god_ those guns are AWESOME!

Before I knew it I was standing right at the mechs feet and looking up at him as he fired off another shot.

"hey Ironhide! Looks like you got yourself an admirer!" I barely twitched at the comment, too fascinated and awed but the cannons. I _sooo_ wish I had some.

Ironhide turned with a 'hmm?' and looked down at the humans next to me, and in extension, caught sight of me. He seemed slightly shocked but got over it quickly and crouched down, I was, after all, only slightly taller than a human.

"what are you doing here youngling? Why are you not with Jazz or Prowl?"

"cannons. Awesome. Wanted to see." my light voice made the humans laugh as I stared at the weapons specialist as if he was the greatest mech to ever exist.

"like them huh? Well how 'bout I teach you a bit about them?" I smiled so wide I thought my face would split but I nodded quickly and bounced on my heels with excitement.

I'm gonna lean about cannons~! I'm gonna learn about cannons~!

I laughed out loud when I was picked up by the large mech and watched the ground below me as we moved to a different hanger. This one was filled with much larger things. Targets and the such made for cybertronians. I was placed on a cybertronian sized bench covered what appeared to be tools and cleaning equipment.

"now, what is it you'd like to know youngling?"

"everything."

With one word I started a friendship with the mech I was most afraid of. For the rest of the day he taught me about his weapons as he cleaned them. He told me what some of the parts were and what they were for and how to tell the difference between good and bad parts. Even with all the talking we did I wasn't even _near_ knowing as much as Ironhide but even then, I glowed with happiness at what I did know.


	19. calm

**here is another chappie for all my lovely readers. i hope you enjoy it! because of my need to write this i am probs gonna fail in PDHPE so i hope ur all gratefull. **

**and one more thing; if you read this, _please__ review_ because it makes me feel better and update faster because i know that there are people that like this story enough to bother reviewing it. **

**to all those that review my story: this chappie is for u**

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><p>I watched with rapt attention as Ratchet worked on the smaller twins once more, grumbling all the way. The smaller than normal data pad in my hands almost forgotten as the skill of the medic once again stole my attention.<p>

"data pad, now." I jolted and quickly snapped my helm back towards the data pad, dread perfectly still as I read more information about the structure of sensor net and how to go about applying medical treatments with the least amount of pain by dulling the net in certain areas. Apparently if you completely shut down the net it takes earth weeks to come back online completely because it has to recalibrate to everything.

"damn, gurl, da Hatchet got chu whipp'd." my optic twitched slightly, Ratchet tod me that that was not normal, said I must have some sort of glitch, my dread moved swiftly to throw one of Ratchets wrenches of DOOM at Skids. I giggled as I heard them both exclaim in pain, it must have rebounded of Skids and hit Mudflap.

"Hatchet, yo a bad influence on de splarklin'!" Skids.

"Yeah! Yo makin' 'er throw wrenches at us!" Mudflap.

"Mute it slagheads! You're distracting my student from her studies!"

Oh yeah. Hehe, I forgot to tell you.

It's been two weeks since I arrived and everything is going smoothly. The autobots still think I am a defenceless sparkling and I plan on keeping it that way. At the end of last week I had plucked up enough courage to ask Ratchet to teach me to be a medic, I was literally shaking in my armour. I had jumped for joy when he had finally said yes and tackled his legs in a hug. I would finally learn how to use the knowledge I had and help people away from their pain. I loved it.

It was tough, all I had done now was read data pads and learnt exactly what the tools in my hands were and what they did. Every day I would come to the med bay and Ratchet would drill me on the data pads I had read the night before. After mid-day I was set free from the med bay and aloud to 'play', as the older bots thought, but really I went out to a beach on the other side of the island and sat on the rocks, watching the waves. It was there that I let myself remember my old life, pondered my new one, and just enjoyed the peace and rolling waves.

"I finished the data pad Ratchet." I said and jumped from my perch on to of a cybertronian sized cabinet and flew to the metal berth, stumbling as I landed, and handed the finished data pad to Ratchet. Ratchet nodded and handed me another, telling me to read it before tomorrow.

I was quick to dart out of the med bay. Today was Wednesday and that meant I was allowed to go see Ironhide and his weapons. God I _love cannons_. Today he was gonna let me watch him train some of the humans. Usually I wasn't allowed to watch because I was still a little seeklet, or so they thought, but Jazz and Prowl wouldn't let me go watch him any other day because he was practicing with the other autobots after I got out from the med bay. Prowl still wasn't happy about it but with a little bit of sucking up I managed it. Being a sparkling has its advantages.

I skated to main hanger, I would have flown but I had been banned from flying inside, waving to some of the humans I saw.

I skidded to a stop at the entrance to the hanger from the autobot side of the base and quickly hid back behind the door in childish shyness. In the main hanger were Optimus, Ironhide, Jazz and Prowl, with Lennox and Epps, talking to a group of people I didn't know. One I could tell strait off as the secretary of defence and another as Galloway but the other man, woman, and to boys I had no idea.

I couldn't hear what they were talking about but the two 12 year olds seemed very excited to be there. Optimus motions to Jazz and Prowl and said something that seemed to shock all the newcomers and the unidentified man said something in response.

_'Lil' Ri, you can come out now. The president wants to meet you.'_ I jumped slightly when I heard my comm. but listened to my Aita and slowly skated out.

As soon as I was clear of the door I rolled as fast as I could to hide behind my Ama's legs. I peeked out from my hiding spot to look at the new humans. The two boys look way too excited and three of the four new adults seemed curious, the last had a look that made a shiver race up my back struts.

"President sir, this is our youngest, Careen. She is a sparkling, or a child, if you will. She is very precious to all of us, it was thought that all the sparklings were gone and without the All-spark no more sparks can be given to a frame. We suspect that she is the last." The human leader looked sad at the words of our own leader and I heard the two boys 'awww's.

I stepped out from behind Prowl and gripped his leg armour tightly. Damn you sparkling programing. I could feel my parents amusement and I stubbornly blocked them out, making them look down at me.

Stepping towards the new people I crouched down in front of them so I could look up at them. I just stayed like that for a while.

"hey mister Optimus? Why does she do that?" I looked at the brown haired boy that had spoken and his brother nodded. It was jazz that answered though.

"Lil' Ri is used ta lookin' up at oth'rs. It makes 'er uncomfortable ta look down at ya, so she crouches." I smiled up at Jazz but kept the bond closed.

"hey, my names Chris, and this is my brother Liam. Nice to meet ya!" I smiled widely at the two boys, wings perked and dread swishing happily.

"hiya Chris, I'm Careen, but you can call me Ri. Nice to meet you too."

I won't bother telling you about the conversation that the older beings had because if I was to tell you the truth I wasn't even listening, I was too busy playing with my new friends. I can tell you though that I certainly do _not_ like Galloway. As soon as he spoke a very human part of me just wanted him to _burn_.

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><p>When they left it was like the room warmed a few degrees. Something was very wrong with that man and I do not want to find out. Ironhide made it up to me and took me to the range to watch him practice as he told me more about the cannons and put in a few stories here and there. He was successful in taking my mind of that lingering uneasiness running through me.<p>

And I just couldn't help the feeling that something was coming, something that I didn't know about.


	20. before

**sooo sorry for the late update but i have been REEEAAALLLYYYYY busy wat with my drama assignment and my art one and my geography one AND my science one! i hope u like this chappie!**

**REVIEW AND I UPDATE FASTER! plus its nice ;P**

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><p>This sucks. I wasn't allowed anywhere <em>near<em> the human side of the base! I didn't even do anything wrong. I was just minding my own business, reading the data pad that Ratchet had given me to study about sparks, when out of nowhere Sunstreaker comes in and picks me up buy my scruff bar, which I didn't even know I had, and takes me to me, Jazz and Prowl's quarters and placed me gently inside with the order: "stay here and don't you even _dare_ think about leaving this room.". I was then left to my own devices, staring in mass confusion at the door.

I still had no idea why I was in here and the pacing I was doing didn't really do much. My data pad lay forgotten on the shared berth and I grumbled about it being unfair that I was a sparkling and therefore not allowed to do what the older bots did.

I jolted slightly as I received a data burst. I had gotten one before but I had been ready for it then. I flicked through the information and whined when I seems that there has been some more landfalls, two actually, and it was unknown if they were hurt, there was also deceptions in the area that they landed in apparently so they were sending out the whole autobot fleet, with the exception of me, to sweep the entire area.

To top it off, the autobots had been in the middle of a conference with a bunch of foreign ambassadors when they received the signals and had to leave halfway through, so the ambassadors were still here.

Oh, and I was also to stay in the room at _all_ times.

I rolled my optics and vented in a huff, dread lock twitching in irritation. Screw what they say, I will not stay here for _hours_ until they get back and finish their little meet with the foreigners. I don't even know why they would want to keep me away from them.

Getting through the door was easy, as was sneaking through the halls of the autobot section of the base. I wasn't really concerned about those parts though, it was the human side I was worried about. I want to be in the med bay, Ratchet had made me some puzzles that he had said were very common on Cybertron before the war. I loved the strange cube shaped puzzles, some easy and some overkill.

I ducked by the entrance to the main hanger and peaked cautiously around the corner. It was oh so empty without all the other autobots and some of the humans but there were still quite a few _other_ humans that worked on base to keep everything in order.

None of the ambassadors were there that I could see but I was never one to keep up with politics anyway so don't really care about them. I shot from my hiding spot to behind one of the spar trucks and froze there, waiting to hear the shouts of surprise of shock, lucky for me they never came.

I peeked over the hood of the car and took a sweep of the room. If I go now, I can get to the hall that leads to the med bay without anyone seeing me. So, I darted from the truck to the hall and slammed myself to the wall when I was out of sight, cords and hydraulics tense. Again, no one noticed me and I turned to creep down the deserted hall.

I was humming by the time I got to the med bay and my wings perked higher at the sight. Walking in, I thought about what I was going to do. I looked around this new room and smiled as my eyes landed on a human regulator. That childish curiosity and mischievousness sprung up in me once more and this time I didn't question it, instead I hurried over to the machine, hands already changing into tools.

After just a few minutes I had the regulator pried open and fishing through the insides, slowly taking each component, scanning it, trying to figure out its purpose, and setting it neatly beside other parts I had already taken out.

My humming grew louder and swayed to a happier tune, dread swishing and wings perked as I sat on the ground, hunched over the human machine. My entire focus was in the thing in front of me so I guess that is the reason that I didn't notice the person sneaking up behind me before it was too late.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

My head snapped away from my entertainment and towards the person behind me, a snarl forming in my vocal processor as I stared wide eyed at the smirking man

My wings suddenly drooped and my dread fell to the floor with a clank. What is going on? Why is this person doing this to me? Wait a second, I know that face….

Galloway!

Oh I hate you so much you mother fucking slagger! I wanted to say this but my vocals had shut down, along with my limbs.

The last thing I saw before I was forced into stasis lock was that Primus damned smirking face.

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><p>When I awoke next I was restrained to a table of some sort by metal braces with what I assume to be scientists around me. They swarmed as I awoke, murmuring things I could not make out. I tugged on my arm restraints, whimpering when I felt it pinch into sensitive wires. Looking down I saw that the restraints went under my armour so that it touched my wires and even parts of my protoform.<p>

"wha-!" I started but suddenly stopped as what came from my vocal processor was not words but the sparkling language, whirs, chirps, clicks and many other high sounds.

My exclamation startled to scientists and they all looked at my face curiously.

"use any means you want to examine this thing, kill it if you have to, but get as much information you can from it." My optics snapped towards the speaker and I once more saw that horrid smirk. The weight of his words finally hit me and I squirmed more, cutting some of the energon lines in my wrists, ankles and neck.

I whimpered as the scientists were suddenly upon me brandishing knives, clamps, electric prods, pliers, and many other things I couldn't even give a name to.

From then on I screamed as I was slowly torn apart, plate by plate, wondering why all the shit happened to me

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	21. the storm

**sorry for the lateness. is it late? *shakes head* cant remember have so much to do for school and all that jazz. anywho, there is a picture on deviantart for thi chapter. it is by frapacino and i called 'lil' Ri and Charga - isnt freedom our right'. go check it out. its not so good but not terribad either.**

**hope u all love the chappie once more and dont forget to REVIEW**

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><p>I never, ever in my life thought I would <em>ever<em> say this, but right now I HATE humans! They are the reason for this! It's their fault that I have been striped to my protoform with cut and missing wires and my spark bared for all to see. It made me shiver. I could _feel_ everything around me so much _more_ with my spark bared. With everyone that came into this room I could practically taste their emotions. Their curiosity and the sick, terrifying, eager desire to rip into me just as I had ripped into that regulator.

I whimpered for what felt like the millionth time, and it might have well been, as I shifted ever so slightly. The thick shackles and chains held me to the floor and wall, digging hard into the circuits of my limbs, and a heavy contraption held my chest plates open, forcing me to bare my spark. It hurt for my spark to be this open and I knew this could do some serious damage to me but I couldn't really think through my clouded thought processor.

Another thing was strange though, not once in the distorted time I had been here had I fell into recharge or stasis lock. It was like they knew exactly how to avoid forcing me into it, and for that they would need to have studied an awake cybertronian.

Did they have one? Who was it? Was it someone I knew? Was it decepticon or autobot?

My thoughts were drown as a loud beep came from the door to my cell and if swung open. On instinct I shied away, pressing into the wall and whimpering loudly. The sick fascination I could feel rolling of this man was almost enough to make me purge and cry and scream at the same time. I screeched as I felt arms grab tightly around sensor nodes and fine energon lines along my arm, crushing them as I was yanked out of my binds.

It took quite a few men to get me on the rolling metal table but it was enough and they didn't even bother to strap me down as I lay on my crushed wings, all I could do was moan in pain, begging for my Ama and Aita.

My dread dragged along the ground, forming just one of the many trails of energon that dripped from my body. Part of me wondered why Primus was letting this happen to me, didn't he love me?

I was his daughter, his oldest and youngest, his first child of millions. If this was true, why was he letting them do this to me? does he really love me? is it just a ruse? Was I just a tool, something to be discarded?

Flash…flash…flash… the lights passed over me in their unusual pattern. From the way they are spaced I guess I am going to a different room this time. The only warning I got that I was there was the *crrrrrrr* as the door opened. I was dumped onto the floor and screeched in pain as the chains and shackles pulled and cut more wires at the harsh treatment.

The door shut with a thud but I knew the scientists were still in the room, I could hear their alien words, I pulled myself shakily onto my knee joints and tried to tug my spark chamber closed manually but only received a shock that pulled another screech from my damaged voice processor.

I never expected to meet the cybertronian that they kept here. I never thought that said cybertronian would be a sparkling and I definitely never thought that it would be a seeker. Oh no, not just any seeker, but one I could feel a bond with, the only bond that I could feel at all in fact.

Trine mate.

An almost dormant part of my mind sprung forward and my pain doubled with the pain I could feel from my Trine mate and I shot up, pulling on my shackles and chains harshly, reaching out for my trine mate.

I could feel that my trine brother, I had instantly seen it as a mech, was younger than me, and I know that that is probably impossible but I feel like I know this spark. I focussed on my new found brother and my optics widened. The spark that stayed with me in the blackness. I pulled harder on my restraints.

So this was why He had done nothing. He gave my Trine brother his own frame. My trine brother, much smaller than me, much more fragile than me, was not restrained and ran to me, clinging to my open chest plates with pained sobs and whirs. I crooned through my pain, spark telling me that this was what I was meant to do.

But something was missing. I could feel it. Seekers are born in groups of three, in Trines, and my brother and I were only a pair. We need our third part.

I could feel the scientists watching us but I couldn't really give a damn. Not to mention finding your brother and trying to take away all his pain and add it to my own. My head snapped towards the female scientist edging forward. She was frightened, I could feel it rolling off her, and if I had to guess I would say she was forced to test my boundaries with my brother.

I snarled loudly and my dread curled over my head like a scorpion's tail, bladed tip glinting dangerously as I held my damaged brother and curled over his smaller frame, he only came up to my knee joint so I could easily envelope him with my damaged body.

"Dr Darby, step back! That thing obviously has some form of protective coding!" the woman just shook her head and I growled at her stubborn determination. They thought I was just a robot, just like Galloway told them, thought I was not sentient. HA, I'll show them.

"*fizzlecrackle*…back *crackle*." I growled and almost smirked as all the scientists gaped like a stunned mullet.

"Did-did that thing just talk?"

"We were never told it was capable of competent speech."

"Do you think it has an A.I.?"

"*GRRRR* no A.I. *cracklecrackle* sentience….*sizzle* stay….back" I almost whimpered at the pain from my voice processor and I could almost hear Ratchet yelling at me for overusing it when I knew it was damaged but I pushed those thoughts away. No time for them now.

"Amazing! A robotic being with full self-awareness!" a nameless scientist said as he stepped up to the red haired woman, Dr Darby.

"This is _not_ something to cheer about Marcus! This just proves that we have been torturing, _dissecting_, a living, thinking being." The woman looked at he with horrified eyes, her regret was contagious and I could soon feel it coming from the one other scientist in the room.

"My name is Clara, I am so sorry about what has been done to the both of you, really. Do-do you have a name?" the red haired Clara asked and I stopped my growling and lowered my black dread to look at her cautiously.

"C-*fizzle*-Careen. This is *crackle*….brother, not….have name. *fizzlecrACKLE*" It burned the wires in my throat to speak but I needed this woman to understand, this was my only hope.

"Please…..help us *cracklecrackle* help….us." my begging sounded broken and strained but I got the point across when I felt her guilt grow stronger.

The woman was suddenly moving towards me and I couldn't find it in myself to do anything to her.

"Marcus! Help me with this!"

"Damn it Clara we are gonna get in soooo much trouble if someone sees us!"

"We are the last ones here. All we have to do is get past the night shift and get Careen and her brother to my car then you can go on your merry way and think you never had anything to do with this."

They kept up their bickering as Clara, with the help of a reluctant Marcus, pulled me to my feet. It was kind of awkward, me being several feet taller than them so, looking at my HUD, I pulled up the self-diagnosed condition of my transformation cogs. Some of them were completely missing and others broken beyond repair but I could tell that if I pushed it I could make one transformation and be stuck in that form for a while.

I carefully placed my trine brother down and pulled away from the two scientists. I forced my vocal processor to shut down as I transformed in to my human form, and I found my injuries reflected onto this form as well. Large cuts leaked glowing blue blood, especially one on my neck, wrists and ankles.

"wh-wh- HOW did you _do_ that!" Marcus exclaimed and I only looked at him blankly as I picked my younger brother back up and rested him heavily on my hip.

"I am cybertronian *coughcrackle* we are…good imi*fizzlecrackle*tators." I replied and limped towards Clara.

This was it! After this unmeasured time in this Pit forsaken place I can finally go home. Ratchet can take this thing off my spark chamber. And I can see Ama and Aita again. I wonder if they'll like my Trine brother. I hope they do, it would break my already weak spark if they didn't.

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	22. and OFF WE GO!

**another chappie up quick like so yeah. Lil' Ri is starting her long road home. and i hope u all dont think its gonna be easy, coz let me tell u, these words u are about to read may be a bit misleading and decieving.**

**just like the big bad 'cons**

**ENJOY AND REVIEW!**

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><p>Clara's house was nice. It is small but homey with a certain feeling of being safe whenever your within its walls. There was one problem though. And what is that problem, you ask? Well it seems that I am right back where I started.<p>

Canada.

Yes, you heard me right. I am in fragging Canada. Not only am I still injured with a very invasive _thing_ in and around my spark chamber, but I also have the off chance of being recognised in my human form.

I looked out of the second story window of quaint little house and absently crooned a soft tune that I vaguely remember my own mother humming yo me. I looked away from the scene outside, no longer snowy as I remember it, and down to my Trine mate. He was small, I'm going to guess that he was sparked not too long ago, but I could tell that he would grow, a lot. His armour was a dark greeny grey and the tips of his wings had the same black as mine. A black ridge, like mine, rested atop his helm though he didn't have a dread lock like I did. On the both sides of his head were two red, fin/antennae things that drooped slightly in his recharge. I smiled, feeling the love my Trine mate held for me, even in his damaged state, and sent him love and comfort in return and pulled away all the pain he felt.

He needs a name. I looked down at my little brother, the spark that had always come to stay with me in the blackness. A sudden image assaulted me. it was of a large mech, larger than me, and had the same armour style and colour as my brother. He was about as tall as bumblebee, maybe a bit taller, and strong, if his buff, if robots could look buff, looking frame.

I looked down to meet with two weary optics and smiled. This was my little brother. The one I never knew I had.

"what thinking big sister?" I smiled and a broken purr rumbled it my pained chest as I nuzzled my brother.

"your…*crackle* name." my Trine mates optics brightened at my words and I smiled wider.

"big sister give me name! big sister give me name!" I laughed at the little mech and pulled him off my lap to stand beside my human form.

"Charga." I said simply. I thought his name was simple but fit him perfectly. He would be tuff. And a name like Charge didn't really fit, so put an 'a' sound at the end and BAM you have a suitable name.

I laughed as my Trine mate jumped around the room saying his knew name.

I looked up as I heard someone else laugh and saw Clara in the doorway, laughing as my brother shouted around his knew name.

"never thought I would have two sentient alien robots staying in my house." Clara said and ran her slim fingers through red hair.

I nodded in response. I never thought that one of the people pulling me apart would help put me back together again. I nodded at her in silent thanks once more. We have been here for two days, most of that time I spent recharging with my newfound Trine mate, now named Charga.

I had told her that I needed to get to Nevada and Clara understood that. She had told me that she would help me in any way she could and that meant that in the next few hours we were going on a road trip. Hopefully, when I get closer to the base in Nevada, they'll pick up my signature or something. Whatever it is they do.

"are you ready to go Careen?" Clara asked softly and her hand no hovered just above the imitated skin of my shoulder.

Ever since she had found out I was sentient she had been nothing but kind and considerate. She would ask if I needed things every hour and always wanted to know is she could do anything for my injuries. She also never touched me unless in fear of hurting me more.

I stood up and let out a soft chirp, calling Charga to me and grabbing his smaller metal hand in my own disguised one. Tugging my brother after me, I followed Clara down to her Mini Cooper and clambered painfully into the back seat, Charga plopping heavily into my lap.

Bags rolled around on the front seat as we took off from the driveway. I was glad to be on the move, I could _feel_ myself getting closer and closer to my Ama and Aita and it made me relax more and more with every second.

We were further in Canada than where my own grandparents lived and it would take longer for us to get to the boarder. Or so Clara says. And to tell the truth, I believer her. I can feel her honesty and regret and full hearted _guilt_ for doing what she did to my Trine mate and I.

I turned my head slightly to look out the window as Charga leant against my chest. I held back a grunt of pain and git my teeth as a sharp pain shot through my body, growing stronger bit by bit as it grew from my chest and spark chamber. Some of the smaller wires were being healed by my self-repair systems but most of my damage needed the attention of a medic. Like my spark chamber for example, oh, and my vocal processor. Not to mention my need for new armour.

Charga was already in recharge by the time we had left the town of Manawa, Canada, where Clara lived. Carefully shifting my brother as not to wake him from his much needed rest, I lay down across the back seat, curling around my Trine mate as he leaked love across the bond and I mirrored back with my own protective love and affection.

Through the slightly dulling pain I purred low, keeping it constant as it caused and echoing purr to resonate from my little brother, albeit at a much higher pitch.

I woke very few times in the passing hours, only long enough comfort my fitful brother when he awoke from nightmares and assure Clara that we were going in the right direction. It seemed like only a few minutes had passed when I opened my 'eyes' and saw a sign welcoming people to Buffalo.

I watched as we drove slow through the streets. We were going to stop here, Clara needed rest.

"*fizzlefizzle*….Clara….rest." she looked back at me for a second before turning her eyes to look at the road again. It was silent for a little while more until Clara pulled into a caravan and camping park. Switching off the car, the red head undid her seatbelt and leant her chair back, pulling a blanket from a pile of supplies in the passenger seat.

I purred a little louder to let her know that I was happy she was resting and kept up my purr until I heard her soft snores. I smiled, no pain in it, as I watched over these two as they slept, thinking. About what? Nothing really. Just thinking.

I looked out the window, gazing up at the stars and my eyes locked onto one small one that seemed to jump out ay me. I lifted my hand, as if to touch the small star, which in reality was not small at all. It was in fact far larger than earth was and nowhere near as…..organic. just looking at the star made flashes of scenes long forgotten to me flash through my mind. My memories.

Memories of Cybertron

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	23. what i know is what i knew

**hey guys! soz fort helate update but i have had major writters block. whover invented that horrible disiese should rot in the Pit. anyway here is the next chappie and if u wanna know what charga looks like then you can look it up on deviantart at: .com/#/d4u6r4c**

**hope you all enjoy this chappie! and remember to REVIEW! XD**

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><p>The next day was just the same as the last. We travelled for hours in a direction I didn't know. With my navigations systems down I had no clue as to where I was and I couldn't connect to the internet. To my knowledge it was a little after mid-day as we had just stopped so Clara could eat and go to the bathroom. I had already told her that she was to stop at a motel tonight to get a proper sleep in a proper bed. I knew she was curious to know how I knew all this about human life but she kept silent. Maybe I should tell her some time later.<p>

I looked down as Charga crawled painfully over me and knelt in front of the window, optics to the sky, whimpering. I could feel his need to fly but I could also feel that he didn't know how. My brother was sparked a full blooded cybertronian from birth, he needed to be taught how to fly. I whimpered myself as I felt his sky hunger and wished desperately that I could teach him.

Why? Why couldn't I teach him to fly? I know how, but…..but I _don't_ know how. I just fly. That's all. I just thought about it and my body automatically runs all the system checks before I take off, it's like I skipped the entire part about _learning_.

"Hey Careen, you two okay back there?" Clara asked and looked over to see her eyes in the rear view mirror.

"*crackle* yes…no…*fizzlecrackle* we are…..flyers…..*crackle* with….the sky…..we ar*fizzle*are nothing." I frowned at my own explanation. Clara probably had no idea what I was talking about.

"Sooooo, what? You two can fly? Why don't you fly back to Nevada? And what do you mean 'nothing'."

"charga….not learn to….*crackle*fly yet..*fizzlefizzle* my navi*crackle*gations systems are…..down….not know*fizzlecrackle*where am….*cracklecracklecrackle* without…flight….we go…insane….i know..*cracklefizzlecrackle*….i have been there." I whirred, pained at the extended use of my voice and I heard Clara apologise somewhere in the background as Charga snuggled into my chest plates. I winced at the painful feeling of having something constrict around my spark chamber, but I closed my optics and beared it, wrapping an arm around my Trine brother.

All conversation stopped after that and I didn't try to bring it back. I kept my optics closed and just fell into the memories that I had uncovered last night. They were…..breathtaking.

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><p>"<em>Father, are we alone here? Will we always be alone?" I asked Father as I floated aroung his great helm.<em>

"_no, my child, soon there will be others, sparks for us to watch over and care for." Fathers loving words made this strange bubbly….thing…..well up inside me and I couldn't help the light chirping suddenly emitting from me entire glowing form._

"_When will they get here? Can I meet them?" I bobbed and glowed brightly in front of Father, another wave of that bubbliness washing over me._

"_of course you can, my child, but remember, you will not be able to speak with them, they will not be able to understand you. They will cherish you though, my dear one."_

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><p><em>Father was always with me, even though I could no longer see him. I would talk to him, sometimes, and ask him questions about the beings that he had created. He said that I was going to help him created them. I didn't understand at first, but then I had seen all the bright little lights, much smaller than myself. Father called them sparks, the beings Father created called them that too. Did he tell them that? The sparks were all so bright! They come and twitter at me sometimes and I can do nothing but twitter back, that funny bubbly feeling washing over me as well as another, an unpredictable urge to make sure that these sparks had that bubbly feeling too, that they were safe.<em>

_There used to only be 11 of them, the beings that is, and I learnt all their names. Prima, Megatronus Prime, Alpha Trion, Vector Prime, Nexus Prime, Solus Prime, Liege Maximo, Alchemist Prime, Logos Prime and Amalgamous Prime. I loved them all and wished desperately to ask them so many questions but I knew I couldn't. Alpha Trion, who I thought was very kind, would talk to Father sometimes and Father would help them as they struggled in the new world. There were more now, they had made tiny little frames and come to me, begging me to put a spark in the frame. One of the sparks had jumped at this and nuzzled me, begging to go into the world that we all watched so lovingly. And I did, and I felt so-so-I don't know, I swelled with some sort of pressure that made the bubbliness come._

_Sometimes they would fight, I didn't like it when they fought, and I tried to send them calming waves like Father did to me when I was unsure. I have only had to do this once though, they had seemed surprised when I did it and Prima had put one of his servos on my cube form, as if seeking the knowledge as to why I did it. _

_They didn't fight around me anymore after that, and that made me feel bubbly again. What is this feeling?_

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><p><em>Proud. I was proud. I had asked Father what this funny pressure I felt when I saw all the cybertronians building their cities and told me it was pride, that I was proud of my brothers and sisters and children.<em>

_The Primes, as the rest of the cybertronian population calls them, has moved my large cube body to the tallest, most grand building in the city of Iacon. From there I could look out at my siblings and children and watch over them. I had sent many of the bubbly sparks to their frames and every time I was proud that another of the mechs or femmes of both wanted to watch over and care for a spark of their own, just as I watch and care for them since the day they are sparked._

_But…..but I could feel something wrong, Father is worried and it makes me worried. The Primes have left Cybertron, I worry for them, and I feel this terrible weight on my spark that I will never see them return to me. I have heard them talk about their growing need for energon and because of this they have left for other, distant planets to take the energon from the suns there. Didn't they know that the energon here would replenish itself soon? Didn't they know? Couldn't they feel it?_

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><p><em>WHY! Why must you do this to me? Can't you see that your anger hurts me? Why are you all so mad? Why are you-? Wait Megatronus, what have you done? Why would you do such a thing? To try and take the life from those poor creatures! Why have you fallen so? You hurt me with your hatred of your brothers and sister. <em>

_You make me…..sad._

_It is all I can do to watch as the First Ones fight in front of my alter, and I hate how they yell, I rips my spark apart as Megatronus shuns his name and takes the title of The Fallen. And you have fallen, my brother, my son, and all I can do is wait for you to return to the matrix where I can finally speak with you, wrap you in my embrace and ask you….why?_

_You have gone to Unicron, brother, son, and how I hate Unicron, but I do not hate you. I love you, as I love all my little ones._

_Please, I know you can not hear me but I need you to know that when you return I will have a speciel place for you, where you can be free and finally be at peace from the anger and hatred in your spark. For I love you, Megatronus_

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><p><em>I have stayed, I have waited and I have watched, observing my little ones as I went through the age's klik by klik, breem by breem, vorn by vorn. As I watch them I realise that I am like them. I may have a different body but I have noticed that they have these same feelings, feelings they call happiness and sadness, jealousy, anger, pride, longing. And I know I feel these things because when I watch the sparklings and younglings play, I wish deep in my spark to run with them and laugh and shout and talk with them until the end of the solar cycle and I have to return to my home in my great tower to watch them once more.<em>

_It is not only that but as I watch I see that the two different types of frames, mechs and femmes, have two different types of personalities. Their inner workings may be the same but they operate in different styles. And I can't help but wonder, which am i?_

_I know that I love to watch my siblings and children, to see them happy hakes me happy. I know that I am not tough like many of the mechs, I do not like fighting in the slightest, it makes me hurt when they yell. i also like it more when the femmes watch over me, their presences much easier for me to get along with. Does that make me a femme? I have noticed that femmes tend to stick together, like they find that their similar frames and processor styles make it easier to get along._

_Yes, I have decided. I am a femme._

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><p><em>I do not understand, I can feel it, even now. The anger and turmoil and worry from all the sparks the I have given frames. Something is happening and it scares me. Why are they fighting like this, arguing over <em>power_ of all things! You don't need to fight over this little ones! Please stop. Do not fight again! I do not want to hurt again, I do not want to feel the pain that the others felt as they fought Megatronus. Why must this happen again_

"_Father I'm scared."_

"_Do not worry my daughter, all will be well with time." I tried to believe my Father, I truly, truly did. But I couldn't, something was telling me that this was going to worse and worse and that many of my little ones will get hurt!_

"_do not fear, my dear one, come to me and I will take you where the pain will go and everything will be alright."_

_I could nothing as Father took me away from my physical body and wrapped his comforting presence around my own._

"_do not fear. Do not fear. All will be well. In time, my dear, dear daughter, I will see you again and we will be together once more. I wish you could stay but I fear you will be hurt. This is something that must happen. My children must learn this lesson if they are ever to move forward as you have. To grow as a race they must do this."_

"_Father, what do you mean? Where am I going?"_

"_away, my dear one, away."_

_I cried out for you, Father, but you let me be pulled away. I fell, I fell so far, for so long. I wish you would catch me and stop my falling like you used to. I am in a dark place now Father, its warm here too. Is this where you wanted me to go? Why did you send me away? You said you didn't want me hurt but you hurt e by sending my away. I hurt Father. Why can't I stay with you?_

_I was moving now. Why was I moving? Why was I here? Where was I? Who am I? I am so confused Father. Wait, who is Father? Why am I thinking of him? Who am I thinking about? It confused me so much, these strange thoughts of things I didn't know. And they scared me. And as I left the strange wet darkness into a white, bright place filled with strange voices and beeping sounds, arms wrapping securely around me. I opened my eyes to look up at a brown haired woman, drenched in sweat and…_

…_..I cried._

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><p>This last memory pulled at my spark as I lightly pet my sleeping brothers helm and that same pride that used to fill me tugged at my trapped, aching spark and hid away some of the pain I felt. It was getting dark now and we hadn't gone that far from where we stopped for lunch because of traffic. I urged Clara to rest ad we stopped at a road side motel. I wrapped Charga in a blanket, hidden away from organic eyes, and we went to the room we were given.<p>

I forced Clara to take the bed, saying I didn't need one, which was true. I just to the extra blanket that was supplied in the room and used it and the one Clara brought to make a nest in the corner for my brother and I. transforming back into my cybertronian form I wrapped my aching body around my sleeping Trine mate and pulled away his pain once more, sending over my love and affection though the only bond I had active.

As I recharged that night I didn't go to the warm blackness and to that great golden city. Instead I dreamt of the human family I had left behind when I was brought back to my rightful universe. I dreamt that it was all just a dream and I was back on the farm, watching transformers with my big brother. Laughing and eating popcorn as mum sat on the couch behind us, reading some romance novel as dad commented on how our we were getting too old for cartoons. And I dreamt that I loved every minute of it, and relished in every unreal moment I could spend with my lost family.

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	24. not home yet

**ALRIGHT! two chappies in two days. hope you like it! and remember:**

**REVIEW! ;D**

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><p>I don't know what woke me up but something, <em>something<em>, did. I carefully moved out of my brothers' reach and stepped out of the warm, soft nest of blankets. It was still dark outside and the clock next to the bed where Clara slept read 2:27 am. I bent down slightly to look out the window. I was careful not to scratch the wood with my claw like fingers as I leant against the window frame.

There were no stars in the sky and part of my was disappointed that I couldn't look up and find Cybertron. Transforming painfully into my human form, I really need to stop switching forms, my secondary transformation cog is almost completely broken and my primary one is not even there, I walked to the door of our motel room and made my way outside. The chill of the night didn't really bother me that much but it made my injuries ache.

What had woken me up? I was having such a nice dream yet even then I had felt something. It pulled at my aching, trapped spark, as if trying to get me to follow. I looked up at the clouded sky and just sat, thinking about why I woke up.

That tugging came back, but this time it was harsher, more urgent. It was like it was trying to tell me something, something important, something I was missing.

Then I heard it. The distinct blearing of sirens.

I stumbled to my feet, dashing as fast as my broken body could carry me to the front of the motel and looked down the road, the way we had come. My optics widened at the horrible, terrifying, spark wrenching sight.

They're following us. Trying to catch us. NO!

I tripped as I spun around, glowing energon dripping onto the pavement as I scrambled up. I have to get out of here. _We_ have to get out of here.

"WAKE UP! *cracklePOP*" I shouted as I barged into the room. Charga was already scooped into my arms before he could wake up and Clara fell from her stingy motel bed with a *thump*.

"wh-what are you yelling about Careen?" I grunted as I tugged the red headed woman out the door. She was still in her clothes from yesterday so she didn't need to get dressed.

"they….*CRACKLE* followed us…*fizZLE*… need to GO!" I just kept pulling her until we got to her car. I scrabbled with the door, my pain making my vision hazy. I finally managed to open the stupid door and I dived into the seat with a grunt of pain.

They were closer now, we have to go NOW. No sooner had I thought that was the car jolting to a start and we were speeding back to the highway.

I sent Charga waves of comfort as I heard those cursed sirens following us. Part of me, a part that awoke with my forgotten memories, wanted to call out to Father and be wrapped in his warmth like I used to, but another part of me was bubbling with rage and all it wanted to do was shoot all the squishies that hurt my Trine mate.

I growled low as I supressed that decepticon like thought and help my spark back from calling out to Father. I didn't need his help, not yet, I can do this on my own. I may be just a youngling in cybertronian standards due to my body, but if we looked at from the perspective of _time_ than I was older than all the cybertronians in existence. They were after all, my children and siblings.

I screeched loudly as Clara swerved suddenly, a loud gunshot ringing my audio receptors. I saw Clara spin the wheel, desperately trying to keep the shot car straight. It didn't. we suddenly jolted to a stop and I realised what happened, they shout out the tires!

"Run! Go Careen, take Charga and run!" I looked at Clara, her red hair flying as she spun her seat to stare at me with wide eyes.

All I could do was nod as I scrambled out to of the car, whimpering every now and then as my broken frame moved in a wrong way. I transformed on my normal 9 foot tall mode and screeched again as I heard and felt a loud CRACK somewhere inside my body.

_MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION! TRANSFORMATION COG DAMAGED: NON REPAIRABLE_

CRAP! CrapcrapcrapCRAP!

I looked back at the oncoming black SUV's and then at Clara who was waving frantically at me to run. I yelped as I suddenly felt something burning in my arm and looked down to see what it was.

My head snapped at the now stopped cars and the running men in black armour and heavy guns. They SHOT me! My optics widened as they got closer but the desperate tug of Charga made me look at his shaking frame and I growled at my stupidity.

I spun on my heel and darted down the road, skating after a few metres. The world around me quickly became a blur as I held tight to my brother turned on my jet thrusters, I may not be able to fly with the extra weight without my final frame but I can sure as hell skate faster than any human made land vehicle.

I couldn't hear then anymore but I didn't want to take any chances, no one was going to hurt my little brother, no one. I didn't stop, didn't slow down, I just kept going. I could feel my struts and cables shaking and creaking from the strain of doing something that they weren't designed to do and I ignored the warning signs for my low energon levels.

I ignored the rising sun and just kept going. I was no longer on the highway, I had to get of it a while ago thanks to rising traffic and now I was speeding down winding roads. Desperately trying to open the bonds with Jazz and Prowl and find my parents. They would make it better, they were safe, warm, and when I find them I can finally rest. Have a proper recharge and finally slip into blissful darkness.

I shook my helm to rid myself of those ever tempting thoughts and just kept skating down this deserted road. I didn't make a sound as I felt my legs finally give out and I half-heartedly twisted so I landed on my back and Charga landed on my chest. I couldn't stop the loud cry of pain and the energon tears.

It hurts, PRIMUS it _HURTS!_ Everywhere, everywhere, there was no part of me that doesn't hurt. I clutched my confused brother as we lay limp in the middle of the road.

I never did notice the lone cottage not 20 metres down the road. Nor did I notice the bright yellow Camaro sitting in the drive.

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><p>It was hard to open my optics as I felt something small and warm touch my shoulder lightly. In the background I could hear muffled voices and the occasional chirp, but what made my optics snap open was the scared whirr of Charga.<p>

I let out a staticy growl as I heaved my hurting body onto my elbow and pulled Charga to my pressured chest will my shot arm. I could what precious little energon I had dripping away and it made me sway until a hand, much larger than the first one, was carefully placed behind me and I heard a worried chirp.

I looked up at the yellow mech, larger than my Aita but smaller than my Ama. I stopped my growling instantly recognised the soft blue optics, shining with distress. Why was Bumblebee here?

"B*fizzle*ee." I reached up, ignoring my pain, desperate for the warmth that the scout could give me.

"Bee, you know them?" I optics shifted quickly to look at the brown haired human, one Sam Witwicky, then turned them back to the yellow scout.

The world around me was going fuzzy again and I whirred desperately. My wings and dread hung limp as my brother and I was suddenly scooped up by the yellow mech and held to his chest plates.

My optics dimmed as I finally relaxed. I could finally, truly rest.

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	25. the glitch

**sorry for the late update, but i have been away from ym computer for a while and was not able to write anything. i hope you all like my newest chappie as much as i do! XD**

**READ, ENJOY AND REVIEW!**

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><p>Have you ever had that feel, where you're floating and you can't fell a thing but you know that you're hurting? Where you can <em>feel<em> everything around you but at the same time…..you can't? That's like now. I know that I'm lying down and sometimes I can feel a small body resting against me. Sometimes I can hear these strange sounds, they remind me of words but I can never figure out what these strange sounds are.

Its black where I am, but father is here, he is always here. But…..why do I have this feeling of emptiness that something is missing? I know, I don't know how, but I know I have forgotten something, something that is important to me.

"…"

What was that? I know that sound, no, not a sound, a voice. I know it, but from where?

"s…"

Yes, I do know that voice! That person is close to me, like family.

"Sister…"

No, not like family, is family.

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><p>"Char…ga"<p>

I forced my optics online and stared at my baby brother. Before I knew it I had pulled him to my chest, ignoring the sudden flare of pain and just held him. Thank primus he's ok.

I looked up and stared weakly at the large yellow mech that sat beside me. Has he been here the whole time? Did he ever leave?

"Careen? Careen, can you hear me little spark?" I looked up at Bumblebee's optics and smiled painfully.

"Bee…*fizzle*…hurts." I whimpered and shifted slightly to get closer the familiar mech. I relaxed slightly as my brother and I were picked up by the yellow scout and trilled to. I looked around, we were in some sort of wooden barn.

I looked up at the larger mech, the question shining in my optics.

"we are at my charges Amona's house, seeklet." I nodded as my mind filled in that Amona meant grandmother.

"we have been waiting for you to rest before we take you back to base, I am sure that your creators will be happy to see you." I whirred happily at the thought of my Ama and Aita. I just want to get back to them.

"can go…..now." a forced out of my damaged vocal processor and Bee put me and Charga down.

I staggered slightly as my feet touched the ground but managed to stay upright with my Trine brother in my arms.

My mind must have had a glitch or something because the next thing I knew I was lying across the back seat of the scouts alt form with Sam and Mikaela in the drives and passenger seats respectively.

I chirped softly as Mikaela glanced back at me, smiling softly.

"Hey there, my names Mikaela. It'll be alright." He soft voice was like a tidal wave of calm washing over me, taking the pulsing in my processor away, if only for a short time.

I smiled at her, trying to show her my gratitude with the words I barely had.

"Where*crackle*?" I tightened my injured arm ever so slightly around my brother, pulling away his pain and feeding him my comfort and love.

"We are almost at the Oklahoma, Texas border. It'll be about a day until we get there." I sighed and lay my head back down at the young woman's words.

I offlined my optics, trying to get some more rest but the pressure in my chest and my busted arm was keeping me awake I felt almost unbearable. When I get back to base the second thing I'm going to do is get me some more armour. The first thing I do should be pretty obvious.

I onlined my optics again and let out a confused chirp. The sun was sinking into the horizon, shinning its dying rays onto my battered body.

The last my optics where open the sun was high in the sky and that was only a few seconds ago! What the hell is going on? I whirred again in confusion and shifted slightly; trying to find a comfortable position I could lay in where nothing hurts, guess that's not possible just yet.

I frowned, trying to figure out why I had a sudden skip in time, and then groaned as the concentration made my processor pound in the front of my helm. I let out a soft screech at the sudden onslaught on my processor and I felt Bumblebee suddenly swerve then correct himself quickly. He seemed unsure as he started to purr loudly, and I was reminded that he used to be the youngest before I came along.

I ignored the concerned words of the humans and relaxed into the seat, careful not to crush my stripped wings. I whimpered as the world was suddenly consumed by black and then flashed back to reveal a dark sky with bright stars. My cooling fans kicked in as I started to panic, something is _definitely_ wrong with my processor because I think I'm glitching.

I whimpered a little louder as my chest started to ache, adding to the pain of my processor and arm and pretty much my entire body, stripped of its protective armour. I could feel something in my spark, like something was poking is and I tried to ignore it but it got stronger and stronger and was soon joined by another one. It hurt, with every prod at my spark I writhed and it must have been this that caused the scout to speed up.

I never noticed when we passed a large gate nor the massive buildings or groups of men in uniform. I didn't even notice it when we stopped and the two humans got out. Soon I could hear voices through the pain that was almost too great. These voices were _very_ familiar.

I crawled forward on the seat and yanked at the door, willing Bee to open it. And my spark stuttered when he did and my optics instantly caught sight of two very familiar mechs. I trilled brokenly and pushed myself out of bumblebees alt form and into the view of the autobots on base, which consisted of Jazz, Prowl, Ratchet, Sunstreaker, Swideswipe and an autobot that I didn't recognise but if I had to guess I would say Wheeljack, if the fins on his head where anything to go by.

I turned my back to then and helped my brother out and lifted him into my arms and he hid his face in my bared neck cables. I turned and stumbled forward, I have to get to them.

"Careen." I almost cried as I heard my Aita's voice. In fact, I did cry and that caused me to trip. I didn't have the energy to catch myself but it was unnecessary as I felt a large hand catch me and Charga. I just lay in that hand and held Charga to me, sending him comfort as he panicked over his fallen sister.

"Jazz, bring the sparklings to the med bay immediately." I felt the sway as Jazz followed Ratchet to the med bay and I couldn't help the broken laugh as I thought about finally escaping the pain.

"put them down." I whimpered as I felt the cool metal on my exposed wires but sucked it up and looked at the medic that hovered above me, scanning me.

I screeched and reached for Charga as the second, blue medic pulled him away. I knew that it was just to fix him up but the sight of his battered body back in that Prison shot through my processor.

"Careen, calm down, nothing will happen to him, he is safe." For some reason, the words of that yellow medic calmed me and I resigned to whimpering at the separation.

"seeklet, you need to open your chest plates. My scans show something that does not belong there. It needs to be removed.

I dazed up at the medic as energon tears once again filled my optics.

"your..*crackle*..gonna take….it off*fizzle*? " I asked softly, cautious even though I knew that Ratchet would not harm me.

"I will need to know what I am taking off first." He replied softly and I smiled widely.

I reached up and tugged at my chest plates, trying to get to the manual latches. I eventually managed to get my fingers underneath the seam in my armour to pull at the latched and force my chest plates open, revealing the restrictive machine encasing my spark.

"By primus! Who would do this to a sparkling! Jolt, go get Wheeljack and be quick about it! Careen, how long has that been there?" Ratchet yelled the first part and it made me flinch but his tone softened as he urgently asked me about the machine.

"don't know…*crackle* days?" I looked up at the more experienced medic, begging with my eyes that he could free me from this thing. I looked down at my bared spark and reached up to touch the encasing metal.

I instantly regrated it.

I screeched, loud and long. My voice occasionally breaking out because of the strain as shocks ran through my spark and through the rest of my frame. I felt ratchets hands instantly around me, stopping me from writhing my way off the medical berth.

It took a while but eventually I calmed down from the sudden pain and slumped against the hands around me, simply too exhausted to do anything my stay online and even that was getting to be too much.

I didn't even know I had said anything before I offlined and finally found my way to the warm blackness and that bright golden city.

"Father…help me…."

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	26. together again

**hey guys! another chappie up and i hope you like it, a nice repreive from the last few chappies. enjoy!**

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><p>It was nice, being back here, in my golden city. I had already spent time with Father and now I was just walking around the beautiful city, trying to picture it with mechs and femmes bustling through its streets. Even when I imagine it and pull on the memories that I newly found, it looked breathtaking.<p>

I stopped walking as I can across a gated off section of the city, one that I knew shouldn't be there. As I looked at the silver gates they started to open and I felt the frame of my body in this place no more, instead I was a glowing orb, much larger than the other sparks and I shone a brilliant silver, just like the gates.

I made this place.

I remember now. I made this place for you, Megatronus. Where are you? I know you are here.

"Who are you?" I spun, leaving a glowing trail, to look at the old frame of Megatronus Prime.

"You know who I am." I said as I moved closer to him, radiating calm.

The old Prime looked at me for a while, optics narrowing in his confusion. I let happiness radiate from me as I twittered with laughter.

"I doubt that you could recognise me Megatronus, but I have always been with you, as I am with all of my children, and I have waited for you, my Fallen brother, son, to return to me here in this place I made just for you." I stayed calm as his optics widened more and more as I spoke and twittered again as he backed up slightly and bowed low.

"A-All-Spark!"

"That's the name that you know me by. I am glad to see that hate no longer has its claws around you. Ever since you fought with your brothers and sister in front of my alter I have waited for you to return to me. It hurt me that you went with Unicron but I am glad that your happy now, in this place." It made me sad, recounting this to him, but I wanted him to hear it.

"Th-the great All-Spark made this place for _me_? If I betrayed you so, great one, why did you make this place for me? I do not deserve it for what I have done to my kind." I let a wave of warmth wash over the weary spark of Megatronus.

"Ever since you fell, this place has been here for you, so you could rest in peace and that I could tell you that I do not blame you for what you have done. It was Unicron that tainted your spark. And it is Him to blame. Now all I want you to do is rest and be free. I have to go soon, but I am glad that I was finally able to talk with you." I could tell my words affected him and I knew he didn't want me to leave as I slowly backed away from him.

"Wait! Must you leave?" I smiled as I stepped out the silver gates and my body returned to me.

_**Come daughter, it is time for you to return. Megatronus, my child, take my daughters words to spark for she has done more for you than any before.**_

And it was with that note that the silver gates closed and I was taken back to that blackness to awaken once more. I said my goodbyes to the inborn sparks and to my still unconscious brothers spark and walked into the now familiar whiteness.

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><p>It was quiet, and dark, but I didn't mind that, not really. I felt as if something had been taken off my chest, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. I sighed, a very human gesture, the machine was gone.<p>

I felt my brother from across our bond, he was still unconscious and I knew he would be for a while more so I didn't try to wake him. I could feel my Ama and Aita, resting in some other part of the base. I could also feel the other autobots, not as strongly as I could with my family but I could feel that many of them were tired.

I could also feel two of those autobots coming closer to my position. One of them felt quite familiar. I smiled softly as I kept my gaze at the high roof of the med bay, simply relishing in all the comforting presences that surrounded me.

I didn't move when I heard neither the door open nor when I heard the sound of wheels skating towards me.

I turned my head slightly to look at the sunshine yellow mech that had come to visit me and had obviously dragged his brother along. I smiled up at the two brothers, glad for the company and their warming presence.

"You're awake." No matter how simple those words sounded I could fell the relief that seemed to flow off the older mech.

"Thought you said….that this wouldn't be a normal thing….Sunstreaker." I smiled as I said this. I was glad, to finally see someone I knew.

"Yeah well, if you would stop getting yourself into trouble it wouldn't be, would it?" throughout the few words that I had exchanged with Sunstreaker I knew that Sideswipe had been watching us.

I turned towards the now red mech and smiled to him, catching him by surprise as he hesitantly returned my smile.

"You're Sideswipe. It's nice to properly meet you. Just wish it could have been under better circumstances." I smiled a little bigger and tilted my head to the side as I twittered happily; glad to finally really meet Sideswipe.

"Glad to meet you too. Sunny has been worried about you, hasn't stopped looking for you since you went missing. I can see why, you've just got thing about you that makes you likeable!" I felt my face plates heat up at the red mechs words and I turned away out of embarrassment.

"Don't call me sunny." Unfortunately no one payed Sunstreaker any attention as I turned back to Sides', whom I just dubbed as my new friend.

"Hey Sides', you think I could go for a walk? You guys can come too!" I added the last part quickly as I saw their faces turn to worry.

"alright, but only for a little while." I was instantly on my feet and standing next to the two taller mechs. I knew I should be dizzy or weak or something but I guess fast healing is another All-Spark thing.

Reaching up I grabbed the twins hands and tugged them after me as I moved towards the med bay door, excited to get out of the white and silver room.

Even when we were out of the room I didn't let go of the older mechs hands, not because I had forgotten to or something ridiculous like that, no, the real reason was because I had missed the contact, the warmth, that another cybertronian gave off and I was aching for that warmth. I just held their hands tighter; much like a child would, though I could feel myself growing older every day, faster than I should. I had decided long ago that I would take advantage of my child body and use it to my advantage, like I was right now.

I heard no objections from the twins and from the contact I had with them I could feel their emotions relaxing along with their body as well as their confusion as to why it was happening and I couldn't help but do what I always did to the little sparks in the blackness. I sent them understanding and warmth, smiling back at them as I tugged them further down the hall.

I didn't miss the shocked looks they gave me but I pretended that I did, not wanting to ruin this moment. Right now, all I want is to enjoy the warmth that I have been starved of for too long.

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><p><strong>hope you all liked it!<strong>

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	27. the glitch STRIKES BACK

**i am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry for taking this long to write this chappie but i have been really busy with school and im going away in a few days and i need to prepare and the fact that i hade a VERY bad case of writers block which unfortunately could not be cure with vast amounts of soft drink, lack of sleep and chocolate. and i have all these medical things to sort out, going to the doctors and having tests done, not fun. but i assure you all that a bunch of chapters are on the way in the not so distant future. **

**ok you all know the drill! READ AND REVIEW!. 5 reviews are need to post the next chapter!.**

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><p>Damn, stupid, annoying TWINS! A walk, that's all I wanted, a <em>walk!<em> But no, the first time I trip they pick me up and take me back to med bay! Stupid, stubborn, pig headed _fraggers_!

I huffed and flopped onto my back and stared at the high roof of med bay, trying to think of something to quell my boredom. I had managed to supress it for an hour or so as I internally raged at the twins but as they were not here to hear me it kinda defied the purpose. Charga was still sleeping so playing with him was out of the question and I didn't feel like getting up and digging around the med bay only to have Ratchet blow a gasket at me.

I sighed and relaxed my body and started to drift into half consciousness. As I relaxed I started to notice the sparks that seemed to follow me everywhere that only I could see. They seemed happy that I was okay and finally back with then. I lifted my hand stroked a few, twittering softly to them and crooned a tune. Their innocence was like a balm of my own battered spark and it made me smile, glad that, if only for a moment, I could be at peace and not have to worry about anything.

It was just as I lowered my hand that the med bay door slid open and Ratchet walked in with a slightly shorter mech with glowing blue fin things on the side of his head. I turned my head towards them and stared curiously at the unknown mech, who stared equally as curious back at me.

I sat up, gave a quick smile to Ratchet as he started to scan me then turned my smile back the white and green mech.

Hmm, I know I have seen him somewhere before, but where?

I tilted my head to the side and trilled confusedly. The mech jumped a bit and seemed to smile widely, but I couldn't tell thanks to the mask over his lower face. Sick of not knowing his name, I spoke up.

"Who are you?"

Instantly the fins on the sides of his head flashed brightly in a happy manner and he bounded to the side of my berth.

"I'm Wheeljack, autobot scientist, nice to meet you sparkling! I did not think you would be online yet." I blinked once at the happy scientist then smiled brightly to match him. So THAT'S why he was so familiar!

"Hi Wheeljack, my names Careen, and my brother's name is Charga! It's nice to meet you too. I have a question, if you're a scientist, do you make lots of explosions? Can I help?"

"NO!" both Wheeljack and I turned to look at the now furious Ratchet.

"wh-"

"Careen you are _NOT_ allowed anywhere _near_ Wheeljacks lab, do you understand me? And _YOU_, Wheeljack, don't you go getting this femmeling into trouble, or Primus help me it won't just be my wrench that finds its way to you head, _ARE WE CLEAR!_"

Both Wheeljack and I nodded furiously, trying to curb the medics wrath from our heads. The rest of the check-up went in silence and I was quite thrilled to be given a clean bill of health, though both Ratchet and Wheeljack were quite curious as to why I could heal as fast as I did.

As soon as the grouchy medic stepped away I was on my feet and heading towards the door. That is, until I felt someone grab me by my scruff bar and hoist me off the ground. I was then turned until I was facing Ratchet, who had his hands in his hips and a _very_ stern face, so I assumed that I was being held by Wheeljack.

"And _where_ do you think you're going?" I instinctively curled up in my hold, my dread curling around me and my wings drooping.

"To find Ama and Aita." I mumbled towards the medic who just shook his head and motioned Wheeljack to put me down. My hopes of getting away were crushed as I was placed back onto the medical berth.

"Not now you're not. I have those two down on orders for mandatory recharge. They refused to rest while you were gone, saying that if you could not recharge with them they would not recharge at all."

I intaked sharply as my sparked ach, reminding me of the fact that I still could hardly feel my creators from our bond. My cooling fans turned on fully and my optic widened and both optic and half visor dimmed.

I stared up at Ratchet, the sparkling part of me reeling at why he wouldn't let me do this but I pushed that part aside and mentally pulled myself together. I did not last as long as I did, however long it was, by acting like I newborn sparkling.

"Please Ratchet, I need to see them." I said simply and I knew they both were caught by surprise by my sudden shift in tone from that of a meek child to one of hardened femme more reminiscent of the human I once was.

I stared at the medic for a while until I saw him nod and his optics dimmed as he comm'ed my adoptive parents.

My bond was weak with them due to the machine that I had worn around my spark but I could feel their exhaustion through the bond anyway and it made part of me regret my demand to see them. But the other part of me was thrilled to be able to see my Ama and Aita again and be able to introduce my trine mate to them. I was unsure whether or not the autobots knew that he was my trine mate but I didn't dwell on it too much because I could feel my parents closer now.

For the entire amount of time it took for my parents to get here I ignored the medic and scientist and just stared at the silver door, occasionally glancing at Charga to check he was safe, the thought of the scientists coming to harm us just too fresh in my mind. I closed my optics for a second reminding myself that Charga and I were safe.

I screeched, my optics snapping open, as I suddenly felt my Ama and Aita moving _away_ from the med bay and from what I could feel they must be being escorted by another cybertronian towards the main hanger. With a quick glance back to my still slumbering brother, sending him a wave of love, I jumped off the medical berth and skated towards the door.

I squirmed as I was caught by Ratchet in the doorway, my mind hazing slightly at the restraint and my mind flashed back to the Prison, and suddenly I wasn't in the autobot base anymore but instead in the dark room of my cell, humans gripping my protoform tightly and chains binding me to the ground and wall.

I screeched again, this time in pure fear and spun in the grip holding me, sinking my claws and denta plating into the wires I could reach of the yellow hand. When the hand suddenly let go I fled, as fast as I could, my mind still hazy with unwanted memories, down the hall and towards the retreating mechs.

I could hear yelling behind me, the worried voices of Ratchet and Wheeljack as they gave chase to me, probably fearing that I may injure myself, but I did not hear their voices, no, I heard the enraged shouts and sirens of the scientists as they chased my trine mate and I down that stretch of road.

I skated down the hall just a little faster until it suddenly opened up into the main hanger my eyes could sight of something silver and I made a mad dash for it, shrieking as I didn't even get a step until I was scooped up by that yellow hand again. I screeched again as ghostly chains that only I could see or feel shackled me, holding me down as strange instruments cut into my protoform and stripped me of currently non-existent armour.

I did what I did before; twisting my body to rip at the cables I could reach. Voices echoed around me and I jolted as I was suddenly passed off to smaller hands. I whimpered then yelled in fear and ripped at the new hands and arms that cradled me. My struggling slowed as a familiar purr broke through my haze and I quieted my sounds of fear.

Confusion swept over me as I suddenly became dizzy, the events of the last few seconds, minutes, hours, dazing and blurring until all memory of the time between when I was perched on the medical berth ad now became a white fog that shrouded my mind.

I looked up at Jazz in confusion, wondering how it was that I got here. My Aita was looking down at me with worry, a steady purr rolling from his chest and I had to rest the urge to curl up then and there.

Tilting me mead and widening my optic as I stared up at the blue visor, I asked:

"how'd I get here?"

"Careen?" I made a questioning trill at the worried tone that Prowl used.

"I was just in the medical bay, waiting for you, and I close my optics for just a second and then…then…I don't know. It's all black, and then when I open my optics again I'm here. How'd I get here?" I asked again.

I'm not too sure what happened after that, my mind became fuzzy and the words that the mechs around me said were muffled but what I do know was that I was happy, warm and safe in the arms of my Aita and that after a while he took me somewhere, Ama following, and suddenly I was laying between my adoptive parents, falling into the warm blackness and towards my golden city that I one day wish could return to its former glory.

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><p><strong>remember to review! review count at time of posting: 91<strong>


	28. split

**omg i am so sorry! i have had such bad writers block for so long! this chapter is all thanks the Heather Tobotua de Cybertron who encouraged me to continue writing even when i thought i couldn't! thaank u heather, ur the greatest! i hop;e that from now on i can write more chapters for this but i am in the last year of high school so that comes first, but i will try to have another chapter up ASAP! i will also try to not stop this story again, i like it, and i want to finish it!**

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><p>I hummed happily as I floated in my warm blackness, the familiar sparks of the unborn hovering around me in their own relaxation. I didn't move, just soaked in the warmth that I got from being in my blackness, unwilling to move towards my golden city and Father just yet.<p>

I twittered around the edges of my golden city, until it wasn't golden anymore. The buildings were a decaying grey, the sparks of broken and lost mechs and femmes, autobot and decepticon and everything in between wandered through the dead streets. For a moment I was sad for them, sad for my little ones that had not made it to the matrix. But then I wasn't.

As I stared at them, these lost sparks, I knew exactly why I had found myself, at least, I rationalised exactly why I had found myself here. I was lost too. I wasn't sure how exactly, my mind was hazy, my memory blurred and I couldn't even remember that I had forgotten something, had I forgotten something? I shook my head, no, I hadn't. but still, I knew I was lost.

I am Marie Christiana Larcroft, a lost little girl, scared for her life in a dimension _that shouldn't exist_, wanting nothing more than to go home and run into her mothers arms. It was in this single, stretching moment that Marie, not Ri, not Careen, but Marie realised just how much she missed her I could cry in my darkness then I knew that I would be now. I wanted my Mommy to hold me and stroke my hair when I fall asleep on the couch, I wanted my Daddy to wrap me up in his large arms and spin me around in that way I hated and more than anything I wanted my big brother. There was not a single thing I didn't miss about him, about all of them, but it was Chase I missed the most.

In that single moment I hoped that this terrible, aweing, horrifying dream would just be over. And when the next moment came, it wasn't. And suddenly, it wasn't Marie watching he Broken Iacon, it was Careen.

I am Careen, and I wanted my Ama and Aita. Where were they? Wait, its alright, I was in my Darkness so it was okay. I wasn't to sure why it was that the Darkness always calmed me like Ama and Aita did but I knew that this place was good, even if it look sad, and made me croon. I wondered for a moment how I had come to be in this sad part of my Darkness but when I tried to remember it was like there was nothing there, no memory files for me to flick through or already run subroutines to check for my previous destinations. I chirruped, confused for a moment before something caught my optic, and as I turned to look at the golden mist drifting through the Broken Iacon-

**I am Allspark. I am daughter to my Father. I am sister to my Siblings. I am mother to my Children. And yet...i am Lost. My Father is near, yes, his golden Not-Touch circles around me in comfort, but I remember what he did. Though I bear him no ill will and no retribution for what was done to me shall I seek, still the memory of knowing that I was forced to leave my Children-Siblings' in their time of need was what had hurt me most. I was old, older than all others that my Father Created after me and there was not Creation before me, and though I am simple in mind and simple in existence I am not stupid. All knowledge that my Little Ones Learnt, I also Learnt. And though sometimes I did not fully understand what it was I Learnt, as I was Young even when I was Old, when I truly mattered I Forced myself to understand, even if I did not like it. When whispers of upheaval slunk their way to me I Learnt and I Understood, and I was ready to what I needed to keep my Little Ones away from War. But it was for naught. Father came and Father spirited me away and my mind I Lost.**

**A life was lived, is still lived. I accept what I was, what I am, what I will be, for while I am Young I am still Old and I have Learnt and I Understand. Even though I do not want to.**

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When I awoke it was to an ache in my processor and an ache in my spark. As I shifted lightly I took notice of Charga pressed into my chest, purring softly as he recharged. When I onlined my optics it was to see black, white and silver metal sounding me and my trine mate. The warmth and love and pure peace I felt from the two mechs surrounding me was enough to keep me in place, not that I wanted to move away from them and my trine mate any time soon.

I purred contentedly as I snuggled into my caretakers and brother happy that they were all here with me, though I was a little fuzzy as to how we all got here. Last that I remember I was….in the med bay? Maybe? Or was I in the main hanger? I clicked in frustration but ignored that train of thought anyway. It wasn't that important. I was just glad to have the bond back with Jazz and Prowl, and had a good nights rest.

Thought it was strange that I hadn't had any dreams.

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Jazz was furious. Now when he says this don't get him wrong, he likes humans, the ones he had met so far and his Ri had once been human so he couldn't really say he hated them. But that one human, that pathetic, disgusting, revolting little insect that took his sparkling? Jazz hated him. And he was going to kill that human one way or another.

He may be an autobot and he knew he wasn't allowed to harm humans but he had also been a decepticon, his red optics under the blue visor where proof of that, and that part still wanted _crush the little insect that dared hurt my little one! _But he wouldn't his sparkling see how utterly destroyed he was when she was taken. Well, sparklings now, it seemed.

Jazz looked down at the two sleeping sparklings wrapped around each other between him and Prowler. He had another sparkling now, Charga, the little one had said his name was, and Ratchet, after looking at the bond the mechlings had with Careen, had deduced that they were a part of a trine.

To think, that after so long without sight or thought of sparklings from any cybertronian, apart from Bumblebee, that he would end up being Aita to not one, but three sparklings. It was from this point, as Jazz watched as his mate fussed over their sparklings, crooning them lullabies and washing them in love and warmth over the bond, that Jazz resolved that he would never let anything ever hurt his family again. He would kill them before they got close.

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Prowl was worried.

There were many things happening right now that could have made him feel this way. It could have been the trouble with the human that took Careen, and the rage NEST had gone into when they had found that she was missing. Or it could have been Jazz, and the pure Hate that seemed to ripple over their bond whenever he was left to think for too long. But really, what had him worried from all those things, was Careen.

The ignorance she had shown when she had calmed down from her frightened daze had confused his slightly, then, when bumblebee said that similar things happened whilst he was bringing her here only solidified that confusion onto worry.

If he was right, and he was almost 94.632% certain he was, that his Sweetspark, his Careen, had a glitch. It was serious, glitches in any form are by far worse than most viruses. They could impair a mech or femme in a crucial moment, subsequently causing them to possibly acquire fatal damage. Not to mention the havoc they brought upon the processor.

Yes, Prowl was very worried, with a young ignorant sparkling with next to no basic programing to care for as well as his glitched Careen, not to mention his enraged mate, he knew he was going to have a hard time sorting this all out. Especially when he could hardly trust himself around his own commander.


	29. the good life

**ALRIGHT! im back peeps! supper pumped about it too, have lots of stuff to catch up with! hope you all haven't felt too abandoned, and im super sorry for the long wait but that you all for staying faithful! XD **

**now i have to warn you, after my long break from this story my writing style has changed. this story is gonna slow down, heaps, so dont be too shocked about that. i might later on go back in redo the first 27 chapters but thats only if i have time. updates will be slow but hopefully they will be at least once every 1 or 2 weeks.**

**hope you enjoy! and review!**

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><p>I squealed with laughter as I flew above my brother, his own excited twittering being caught by the wind as we circled around the base. This was Chargas' second flight and I couldn't be more proud of my younger trine mate. Only a month after we were brought back to the base and we were acting just like two over energized sparklings. Granted, that is what we are, technically in my case, and it just felt so right.<p>

My attention napped back to Charga as he suddenly dropped down, losing his control of his thrusters. I caught him easily, holding him out below me as I continued to fly, letting him get his thrusters back before I released him. I twittered anxiously, but happy that he was so excited. It was almost perfect, being in the sky with my brother, my Ama and Aita close by on the ground. Almost. Part of my mind was lost in the thought of my final trine mate, but I never focussed on that fro too long.

I chirruped at Charga, signalling him to the ground. Sam and Mikaela were coming to the base today and the human part of mind was craving the company of other teenagers. From what I remember from the last time they came to base they should have started there last year of high school last week, and I was excited to know how they were going. I kind of missed school, you never realise how much school meant to you until you couldn't go anymore. I wonder if I could convince Ama into letting me go. I knew Aita would let me, I was is 'Sweetspark' after all. And then there was the problem of Optimus so me being able to go to school we even more unlikely.

We landed in a rush, our excitement from our flight cycling through our bond. I brushed past my brother, his head now reaching my hips, glancing back at him with gleaming optics. The chase was on. We ran down the air strip towards the base, my brother occasionally using his thrusters to keep up. The noon sun glinted of our new armour as we closed in on the base.

As we got closer I noticed a group of soldiers being led by Epps around the front of the base. They must be the new recruits that I heard about from Ama. With a thought to Charga across our bond we shifted towards the unsuspecting humans, wild grins on our faces. When we were only a few meters away Charga zoomed over my head and into his favourite human. All the new soldiers jumped, having not yet been introduced to the autobots yet, and I quickly joined my brother in crowding Epps, crouching next to him and cuddling him in my arms.

We were left as a purring, nuzzling pile of metal and one slightly shocked human.

"Epps, Epps, Epps! What are you doing? Who are they? Can I help? Will you play with me?" I chittered at Charga's questions, having some of my own to barrage the soldier with.

"Are they here yet? When will they get here? Do you know where they are?" I stared wide opticed down at the human I was cuddling like a soft toy, my dread waving happily behind me.

Epps wormed his way out of my grasp but Charga had managed to hand on the mans arm and I doubted highly that he would let go any time soon. As I stood to my full height I gaze was drawn to the group of newbies. One of the soldiers, a large man with blond hair and kind blue eyes, had stepped forward, an awed and nervous look on his face

"Uh, sir? Is everything alright?" Epps just chuckled at the soldier.

"No worries De'Marco, just a couple kids trying to find some trouble." Epps chuckled as mutters of 'Kids?' cycled through the group. Epps cast me a playful reproachful gaze and I whirred an apology.

"Men!" the soldiers were instantly at attention, thought there gazes were now flickering to Jazz, who was moving towards our little group from the base. I sent him a brief buzz of happiness but otherwise kept my attention on Epps.

"I would like you to all meet your first cybertronians. These are our resident troublemakers Careen," he gestured to me, "and her younger brother Charga." pointing to my brother. " you are to nothing but nice to them, or their parents might just use you as target practice!" Epps ended with a cheery smile, Charga waving from his side. I waved also, and smiled widely at the blond soldier who had stepped forward.

"Slag right I will!" came the cheery voice of Jazz as he stepped up behind us. Some of the soldiers stepped back slightly at Jazz's size but apart from that merely looked slightly nervous at being in the presence of such a large being.

"This bug lug here is Jazz, Primes second in command. He is going to be help me show you 'round the base." Epps then turned to Jazz. "hey, you don't happen to know where Bee and the Squirts are do ya? I have it on good authority that Careen might be looking for them." I squeaked at that and ducked my head, dread curling in embarrassment.

"hmmm, I don't know, but I did hear some particularly loud music coming from the rec room on my way here. But I cant say for sure." Jazz said with a smirk, visor glowing.

Before he knew what hit him I latched onto his neck, a stream of 'thankyouthankyouthankyou' pouring from me. Before my Aita could react I was on the ground and skating into the base at top speed. If one of the older bots scolded me later for going so fast and causing damage then I would tell them that it was an emergency. And it was! Sam and Mikaela were here and who knew how long they were staying.

I chirred loudly as I rounded a corner that led to the rec room. I kept chirring as I closed in, and as I burst through the large door, making the three occupants look up, I zoomed straight to Mikaela, the closest of the two humans and did to her the same that I did to Epps. I purred and nuzzled her hair as Mikaela laughed in shock and Sam fell over with his own laughter.

"Hey Careen! How have you been sweetie?" I twittered happily at the young woman and let her step away before quickly latching onto Sam, enjoying his indignant shout as I curled myself around him and held him like a big teddy bear.

"Great! I'm all better now and Ama just got back from a mission and Aita finally let me leave his sight! I taught Charga how to fly and he is really good and he has gotten bigger! Ratched had to make him a new frame and he is gonna need another one again, I can tell, he is gonna be really tall when he gets older. And-"

"Woah there 'Ri! No need to spit it all out right now, we have time." Sam chuckled from his spot held in my servos as we sat on the floor. My face lit up and I turned to Bee for confirmation. At his nod I burst into excited twitters and in a flurry of twisting metal I was in my human form, plait waving in a happy flurry behind me and pupils glowing.

"Really?" Sam just smiled and ruffled my hair and I jumped to my feet in excitement and pumped my arms into the air.

It was Mikaela who stepped forward to calm me down.

"its just for the weekend. We have to go to school on Monday." at the mention of school I peered up at her, the brown hair girl was taller then me when I was in human mode. My human mode was based around a 5 foot 16 year old after all.

"School?" I didn't ask because I didn't know what school was, I asked because I wanted to know what their school was like. I miss school, and my friends. Sam and Mikaela obviously thought it was because I didn't' know what school was.

"Why don't you just look it up on the internet?" My glowing eyes brightened in embarrassment and I reached around to pull my hair into my hands.

"I uh, well you see i… icantconnecttotheinternet!" the words left my mouth in a rush and a blush spread across my cheeks, that had the slightest blue tint the red. And again it wasn't even that I didn't know what school was! Now I had to tell them that. It was super embarrassing.

The two teens looked at each other as Bumblebee chuckled and swiped a finder down my back in comfort. Mikaela stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, smiling down at me like I was a small child.

"well why didn't you say so? Come on, we'll tell you about Tranquillity High yeah?" I just smiled abashedly at the two and let them pull me to sit on Bee's legs.

The four of us spent the next few hours talking about their life at school and then just their lives in general. It made me want to see it all the more.


	30. close encounters

**ok so yes it has been a while, but it was faster then my last update! im getting better! this chapter is kind of a filler, kind or an intro chapter for the next arc of the story. i know its not as long as my other chapters but i am really in a tough spot, what with school exams coming up, assesments, some family stuff. i really am trying!**

**anyway! big thanks to my new beta Nexia Jazzilyn Prime who was a big help in getting me back on my feet to write this chapter! thank you so much!**

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><p>I sat in the rafters of the main hanger of nest, the hanger doors had been shut but the large windows near the roof of the hanger still spilled light into the massive room. Below me bots and humans moved lazily, some standing calm at their stations, working on massive computers, grouped around in their teams with their assigned Autobot. Some were further in the base, resting in the barracks, in the mess hall or having fun in the rec room. Some Autobots had gone to the bot hanger, talking about whatever it was that they talk about when humans, and sparklings weren't around.<p>

That was where my younger trine mate was, along with Ama and Aita. I was glad that they were accepting my little brother and I could feel warmth from all three of them and it made a soft, almost unnoticeable purr rumble from my chest. It was good, I though, that Charga and my parents could feel so at ease again after…That.

I turned my attention to the short, wide window that allowed the soft light of the setting sun pour in. Sam and Mikeala had already left for home, Bee with them, so once more I was left bored. Ratchet still won't let me into the med bay to let me watch him and I wasn't allowed anywhere near Wheeljack's lab. So with nothing else to do I simply enjoyed the view of the setting sun, it really was beautiful. I could remember nothing on Cybertron that I could compare to this, as there was no sun near the bio-metal planet, only three moons. But then again, maybe there was something that was just a little bit like it, I thought, the golden glow of Iacon in the horizon. Yes, I tilted my head and hummed contentedly, that does match.

"Hey!"

I squeaked in surprise, flailing as I tilted off the metal beam I was sitting on. I landed on the raised walkway, used by the humans to be closer to eye level for the bots, with a metallic thud.

"Whoa! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, are you okay?"

I lay there for a moment, trying to get my optics to stop flickering through visual settings, before I even attempted to figure out who was leaning carefully over my head. Hovering above me, with his short cut blond hair and worried blue eyes was the soldier from earlier that day.

"Kiddo? You alright there? That was quite the fall."

I whirred curiously at him as I pushed myself to sit up. Did he just call me 'Kiddo'?

"Kiddo?"

Apparently he did. I was quick to chirrup lightly at him and nod, easing slightly that worried glint in his eye.

"I'm alright." I tilted my head to look up at the rafter beam I had been sitting on, a fair few meters above the walkway I had landed on, one of the ones the humans used to be more at level with their Autobot companions.

I pushed myself up to sit, but didn't bother standing. My head reached the blond soldiers hips while I was sitting anyway. I purred and chirruped at the human curiously, wondering why he was up on this side of the base anyway, most of the humans were down the other side of this hanger, further towards the back that connected to both the human and Autobot hangers.

I waited for an answer to my chirp for a while before I realized that he had no idea what I was doing or what the chirp means. I whirred in embarrassment , my dread curling into my hands as I flustered about.

"Uh, I mean; what are you doing here?" my voice was rushed and I tumbled over my words trying to spit them out.

"What-?" The soldier seemed confused for a moment before seeming to realize something. "Oh-OH! That was what that noise was? You asking what I was doing?" the tall, muscled man laughed softly, almost a chuckle, his eyes alight with a curiosity I have never seen before in another human.

"Sorry, I just- never mind. I'm here 'cause, well," he rubbed the back of his neck, fingers scratching at the cropped yellow hair, head tilted slightly to the side. He looked every bit like an awkward teenager that I had never pinned this massive man to be.

"It's just that...you were over here all by yourself, I was just wondering if you were ok kiddo." the familiar blond soldier shifter nervously, but I had a feeling it wasn't because I was an alien robot but not really an alien. Not that he knew that of course.

He was...worried? Because I was here all by myself? About how I felt? I was struck. This was the first time a soldier that I had never met had approached me and asked after my wellbeing. It was...weird.

"I was thinking. Mostly."

"I'm glad. Kinda."

There was a pause and we both just stared at each other. My optics glowed just a little brighter as the blond man's smile stretched slowly across his face and soft chuckles broke from him, twitters from me. Soon we were laughing so hard the man was losing his breath and my cooling fans had kicked into high gear. I didn't really have any clue as to why we had both started laughing it was just, the situation, the light tension in the air, it all seemed to snap in that one moment and it was like we had known each other since forever. Eventually we settled and the blond man fell to sit beside me, his head not even reaching my shoulders, and we stared out at the little people below as they scurried about with their own jobs.

I turned to look at the man next to me. He was the same one from earlier that morning. He was far more relaxed than before. I tried to remember his name, I know I heard it. I scowled in thought, face plates pulling in a way that seemed almost unnatural. I know that I know his name, it's on the tip of my tongue, uh, glossa. Marcus? Marty? It was 'M' something I swear-

"De' Marco."

I jolted out of my thoughts with a startled chirp and focused down on the shorter, older human.

"My name's De' Marco, Antony De' Marco." He was looking up at me with kind blue eyes. That's right! That's his name! I knew it had an 'M' in it somewhere!

"I'm Careen. It is nice to meet you."

De' Marco turned back to look at all the people down below. I followed his example.

"So Careen, where's that little brother of yours? From what I've heard you're pretty protective of that little guy."

And how true that statement was. But it's not like it's my fault, I just found the second part of my trine, of course I'm going to want to keep him safe. But De' Marco more than likely didn't have any idea as to Cybertronian bonds and the importance of a Trine to a Seeker, so when I answered him it was with no anger or exasperation.

"You mean Charga? He's with our Ama and Aita – uh I mean our mum and dad." A shrug. "And yeah, uh, I guess I am pretty protective. I don't really expect you to understand the bonds Cybertronians have with their family, especially the bonds of a Trine." I spoke with no derision, or anger, only an edge of friendly flippancy.

"Ah. Ok." And that was all he said on the matter. I was so shocked I almost physically jolted.

I swiveled my head to look down at De' Marco. He paid no attention to me, his eyes watching to people below. My dread flicked and curled wildly behind me as I tried to figure out the man next to me. All the other humans I was allowed to see always asked questions and debated about the things that made a Cybertronian. But he didn't, he just….accepted. It was strange. And…nice

At the sound of rustling I watched as De' Marco stood, straightened his uniform, and cast me a quick smile. I noticed only the slightest hesitance when he put out a hand and ran it over my helm, as if to ruffle my hair if I was human. I lowered my head slightly, trying to duck away while giggling slightly, making the man smile.

"Well, I better get back to work, can't be getting fired on my first day huh? I'll see you around kiddo."

And with that De' Marco turned on his heel and walked away down the walkway, hand raised in a wave. His was half way to the stairs before I jumped up, taking a few steps forward and waved brightly at the retreating soldier.

"See ya Mister!"

De' Marco laughed but didn't turn back as he descended the stairs. I stood where I was for a while, thinking about the soldier I had just met and had a very strange conversation with. Yes, I thought, I'll definitely see you around Antony De' Marco.

I kicked off from the walkway and hovered in the air for a moment before flying towards the back of the hanger and through an autobot sized hall to a connected hanger where I knew my family was waiting. I spun to the side to avoid getting knocked out of the air by Charga, twittering a scolding at him. I sighed when he whined pitifully, he was far too adorable for his own good. I hovered closer to him and gently rested my claws on his shoulders, pressing my forehead to his and hummed to him.

_-I love you Charga, but you need to be more careful.-_

I sent him all the love I could, belatedly sending some to the on looking Jazz and Prowl and sending annoyance when I felt their humor.

_-I know, I will sister.-_

And for a while, I completely forgot the odd blond soldier I had talked to not five minutes ago.

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><p><strong>please review!<strong>


	31. REVAMP!

**to all of my faithful and amazing followers! i know i have been a terrible author and left all of you hanging with this story and being super slow to update but for the longest time i have had terrible writers block on this fic. fortunately for you guys i have some good news! well good if you think about it.**

**now what i want to say is that this fic is old, i started it years ago and i have to say i am not happy with it anymore, so for all of you wonderful people i am rewriting this entire fic! i have already started and you can expect to see the first few chapters within the next week or so! i have planned to make this a longer story with a better feel, but dont worry, all of your favorite characters will still be there and we will still be following Little Ri and her family on their adventures!**

**again i can not say how sorry i am for having left you all, but i hope you like the revamp of Not So Ordinary, I Guess!**


	32. REVAMP IS UP

**The revamp is up! it is called Not So Ordinary! **

**thank you all for being so patient with me, i can't thank you enough, and please give a big thanks to my Beta and good friend: Heather Tobotua de Cybertron for her help with getting me back on track! please review that story and tell me what you think, what you want, and how you think i did!**


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